I feel I am still fighting the good fight...

[bnlmusicfan2]

Long story short I am off opiates for like 105 days with three slips ups...I know I human and not perfect. But, I feel people view this as a 'what the fuck' not over a hundred days clean. At the risk of trying not minimize this subject I am being honest and each time was with a pain flair up I have chronic terrible pain which is uaually mangeable, but I am in the the area of the states where IT IS FUCKING BALLS COLD...in the winter. So I bought some the last flair up cause
I more than likely wont need them much longer. But I wanna shed light on the fact I hate chronic pain and when I run out of week thats what I found. I am not taking them for fun anylonger...my mind and I am going to the best to keep my mindset. Am I am in the wrong, how do I explain this to certain people that addiction for some people is not always in black and white, but with my buldging L4 L5 and TERRIBLE nerve pain. Weather makes it worse. THoughts or words of wisdom...I cannot take NSAIDS as my asthma is reactive to it hives and breathing issues.
8(

 

[Pagey]

I don't think it should matter what other people say about your addiction - especially if they don't have any experience with addiction themselves. 105 days clean wih 3 relapses is fantastic and you should be proud of yourself, no matter what others may think. You're doing this work for you.
Chronic pain cases are quite delicate for former opiate addicts. I've got chronic neck pain that I was alternatively perscribed benzos & oxycodone for but I've learned to deal with it without any meds. Honestly I think if I still used those daily it would end up being way worse in the long run. It was difficult at first cuz well, it hurt like a bitch, but you learn to live with it frankly...I think you would be happier with yourself if you learned to manage the pain through maybe meditation or something, rather than with meds, especially since that would greatly increase your chance of relapse.

 

[hthr007]

Long story short I am off opiates for like 105 days with three slips ups...I know I human and not perfect. But, I feel people view this as a 'what the fuck' not over a hundred days clean. At the risk of trying not minimize this subject I am being honest and each time was with a pain flair up I have chronic terrible pain which is uaually mangeable, but I am in the the area of the states where IT IS FUCKING BALLS COLD...in the winter. So I bought some the last flair up cause
I more than likely wont need them much longer. But I wanna shed light on the fact I hate chronic pain and when I run out of week thats what I found. I am not taking them for fun anylonger...my mind and I am going to the best to keep my mindset. Am I am in the wrong, how do I explain this to certain people that addiction for some people is not always in black and white, but with my buldging L4 L5 and TERRIBLE nerve pain. Weather makes it worse. THoughts or words of wisdom...I cannot take NSAIDS as my asthma is reactive to it hives and breathing issues.
8(

People are always going to judge no matter what. Whether you're doing something good with your life or if you're doing something "bad", they will never keep their opinions to themselves. Like Pagey said, if they don't have any experience with addiction then they really need to keep their thoughts to themselves. Getting clean is something that you are doing for yourself, not for others. Be proud of how far you have come. 3 slip ups v. 105 days? That's okay. 105 is a much bigger number than 3, so try and focus on that instead

I am prescribed opiates for chronic pain, and I know how awful it is to live with it. It's very hard to find a sympathetic doctor who doesn't want to label me as a drug seeker when I truly need help to deal with my pain. I find that doctors can sometimes be quick to judge because I'm so young and have such (what seems to be) complex problems. I have disc issues and nerve pain also as well as horrific back spasms that wake me up in the middle of the night and leave me doubled over in pain in the fetal position on my bed. I like the concept of using holistic means to deal with the pain. I'm going to start looking into maybe acupuncture and massage therapy to help me.

I wish I could provided more help, but I'm hoping I can bring you some comfort just by reiterating that you are not alone by any means while dealing with this.

::hugs::

 

[Stevenski]

Long story short I am off opiates for like 105 days with three slips ups...I know I human and not perfect. But, I feel people view this as a 'what the fuck' not over a hundred days clean. At the risk of trying not minimize this subject I am being honest and each time was with a pain flair up I have chronic terrible pain which is uaually mangeable, but I am in the the area of the states where IT IS FUCKING BALLS COLD...in the winter. So I bought some the last flair up cause
I more than likely wont need them much longer. But I wanna shed light on the fact I hate chronic pain and when I run out of week thats what I found. I am not taking them for fun anylonger...my mind and I am going to the best to keep my mindset. Am I am in the wrong, how do I explain this to certain people that addiction for some people is not always in black and white, but with my buldging L4 L5 and TERRIBLE nerve pain. Weather makes it worse. THoughts or words of wisdom...I cannot take NSAIDS as my asthma is reactive to it hives and breathing issues.
8(

Yes you "slipped up" but these things happen in life. Provided you took them as prescribed & did not abuse the medication don't beat yourself up. If you did abuse them then don't beat yourself up. I believe in sobriety time especially in the early days but out of 105 days you had 102 completely sober. That is much better than 105 days abusing so take pride in that achievement. If you want to be pragmatic you can say that you averaged 34 days clean 3 X over that 105 days & celebrate that fact.

Do you feel that you took the drugs for medicinal or recreational purposes? Be really honest & therein will lie you answer as PM & addiction are mostly shades of grey. Good luck & hopefully you can find the right balance to ease your pain without completely compromising your hard work to date.

 

[bnlmusicfan2]

Sorry about the post being edited a zillion times my keys stick and I shaking out of dry heaving from being so upset about this STILL!!
its hard to stay sober cause of this and I am done venting...I was sending this to my baby sister when she defriended me...fyi I told her a couple weeks before the "weddingthey got married on august 4th of 2012 so so Fed up during the wedding or else i woulda been like if any of yall dont agree to this union and shit....Long story short I was SOOOOO fucked up during this wedding because I didnt wanna cause issues first...second cause I PROMISED to be the maid of honour...didnt happen was a regular bridesmaid but I LOVE her and did it for her the fact I LOVE HER the most outta my siblings and I had the flash back of the attempted rape and I was already "planned" in wedding and with my addict behaviour and other my issues" I had to be messed up...i had to or I woulda been a nut job worse cause then I had that "amazing" flash back cause of this advice is appreicated
My little sister defriended me I speak the truth I SWEAR on my life...I tried to kill my self over this in treatment cause of that and MY OWN issues/ personal demons...the only reason he did < let me live with my baby sis, for example> he feels guilty
he tried to rape me I dont lie about that shit mark<my ex> said Tim<the d bag> is NOT alllowed around the kids did you know he tired to rape me hell lie thank god for friends that care I am done with you as well apparently take care I pray he doesnt get you pregnant you deserve better than that d bag its not ment to be mean its true YOU are in DENIAL and she is 24 with HUGE mental problems herself and tool is 43 or some shit<age doesnt matter....I grasp that>
Chat Conversation End
Please dont be rude I just need adcice thank you as this disgusting human being is NOW married into my family...I will neve tell my baby sis this, but he was all about me in the day and I thought he was a disgusting piece of crap and I was wanting nothing to do with him via previous statement
another thing he threw a glass beer bottle at my head because people were smoking pot in his house bathroom NOT me I didn't at that point in my life I was 18 ish and it was new years eve needed to pee and he said it was me...it wasnt...but christ man I slit my wrists 116 days ago in treatment because of her marring this EVIL EVIL person...I pray and no one knows this piece o' shit