dnb2012
Bluelighter
Iv got really bad depression and anger issues. i just feel right low as low can be and i bit more. feel like i shouldnt be here any more wish i wasnt here but fornate i have an inch a light at the end of the tunnel. that would be son.
iv had my depression for years i think, i have mis-used drugs in the past and recently to the point of i think i need them to be happy i cant seem to find away to smile any more. because of this and other reason i have left my parnter, who was once my rock and my sould mate and raving parnter. once upon time she was my everything, which is we planned to have our son 11 months ago. but since he was born our relationship just started going down hill. i know having a baby put's the biggest stress on a relationship. not only the stress of our son has caused this but also my work has i really despite that place with more than a passion! reason why im still there is the money i know i need it id defo do something stupid if it wasnt for the money.
me and my partnerw/ex would have as massive blow out but then we would sit down and talk and sort it out which we did last friday strangley enough, and i was kind of reluctant to do it then as i am fed up off coming back to same spot, the same arguements and same shit. we was good sat but then argued sunday monday tuesday and yesterday. i do know i have played a massive part in these arguements and dont know why or how but i seem to have to argue :/
then yesterday i walked out of work i went back home and told her that this isnt working and we need to split. just then our friend walked and my parnter went to her mums to talk. i spoke to 'jill' (the friend). i told her everything to the best i could/would.
the reason i left is because iv had to, iv got to find my feet any myself. 'Got to learn to walk before you can run' i feel like iv done that but then fell over and got to do it again now and i cant do it in a relationship iv got to do this on my own and with help of my phsycologist. parnter will never understand why i have left no one will but i no iv had to do it.
sorry if this in some aspect dont make sense iv had to write has i think it.
thanks for reading guys
iv had my depression for years i think, i have mis-used drugs in the past and recently to the point of i think i need them to be happy i cant seem to find away to smile any more. because of this and other reason i have left my parnter, who was once my rock and my sould mate and raving parnter. once upon time she was my everything, which is we planned to have our son 11 months ago. but since he was born our relationship just started going down hill. i know having a baby put's the biggest stress on a relationship. not only the stress of our son has caused this but also my work has i really despite that place with more than a passion! reason why im still there is the money i know i need it id defo do something stupid if it wasnt for the money.
me and my partnerw/ex would have as massive blow out but then we would sit down and talk and sort it out which we did last friday strangley enough, and i was kind of reluctant to do it then as i am fed up off coming back to same spot, the same arguements and same shit. we was good sat but then argued sunday monday tuesday and yesterday. i do know i have played a massive part in these arguements and dont know why or how but i seem to have to argue :/
then yesterday i walked out of work i went back home and told her that this isnt working and we need to split. just then our friend walked and my parnter went to her mums to talk. i spoke to 'jill' (the friend). i told her everything to the best i could/would.
the reason i left is because iv had to, iv got to find my feet any myself. 'Got to learn to walk before you can run' i feel like iv done that but then fell over and got to do it again now and i cant do it in a relationship iv got to do this on my own and with help of my phsycologist. parnter will never understand why i have left no one will but i no iv had to do it.
sorry if this in some aspect dont make sense iv had to write has i think it.
thanks for reading guys
