The thing about Ethanol is; it's by far the worst drug for you in terms of how much damage it does to the body.
Ethanol is a potent solvent and while it's put into drinks, they also use it in literally every household cleaning product. Ethanol kills anything that's living and also has been shown to break down fibers. While Ethanol may be great as an antimicrobial, antiviral, antibacterial and antifungal agent - just because you're putting it into the body doesn't change the fact that it kills cells.
Another awful thing about Ethanol is the fact that it's metabolized into Acetaldehyde! Acetaldehyde; being just one atom away from Formaldehyde, is a solvent that is actually more corrosive and potent than Ethanol! Acetaldehyde is the sole reason you get a hangover. It literally poisons your body and that's why you feel ill the whole next day. White cells try to absorb and get rid of it while the liver and kidneys are filtering it out, but absorbing Acetaldehyde will actually kill the white cell, thus greatly lowering your immune system due to a lower white blood cell count.
Also, you know how your muscles ache the day after some large drinking? That's due to the fact that the Acetaldehyde actually induces hypercholesterolemia. Hypercholesterolemia is a condition where the muscle is unable to absorb or use cholesterol and as a result causes muscle cells to start dying. Acetaldehyde does this all around the body by the way, not just in the muscles. but I digress...
You need to get off the Alcohol. Replace your alcoholic drinks with something healthier. Water is always a good alternative, but it's boring. So try tea or juice or something. ANYTHING to get yourself off the booze.
If you're really worried about withdrawal issues, go to a doctor and tell them you're trying to quit drinking. They should have no problem giving you something like Valium (the benzodiazepine Diazepam) which works exactly the same way Ethanol does in the body. This means it will stop ALL withdrawal symptoms AND it's not even in the same universe in terms of damage it does to the body.
Also, keep in mind that using Valium to taper off of the Alcohol will make everything worlds easier for you. I know you said you don't like the benzo's, but you REALLY need to keep on them until you're off the Ethanol completely.
Anyways, I know what it's like to get off downers. It's just awful. But you can do it man! I've had to do it three time in my life already and while each time it sucked, in the end it was worth it....YOU are worth it!
