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I don't think it's healthy to be alone all the time

QuasiStoned

QuasiStoned

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,362
Location
Pennsylvania
Chronic pain, drugs and alcohol, and general anxiety have pretty much lead to me keeping myself to myself. Depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol, and chronic pain kept me sick and alone for the last 10 years. I just turned 30 and haven't had a girlfriend since high school. I just really got a bad start to my adult life and got thrown some pretty bad cards. I don't blame myself for falling into the pit that I did. Chronic pain just sort of sucks the soul out of you after a while and lead to a pretty low self esteem and a penchant for escapism.

So fast forward to now the pain is fading and after going into treatment for the 3rd time I managed to kick alcohol and haven't drank since Dec. 22nd. I try to keep myself occupied and enjoy life but there is that constant void in my soul. The feeling that I should be searching for companionship. Or even just hooking up with girls or something. And I feel I'm very poorly prepared for all of this. At my age I definitely should have a lot more experience in that department. It makes me embarrassed and unwilling to try. Realistically I think I'm physically attractive enough but my self esteem and confidence is definitely lacking. It's a dilemma. I have nothing to build my self esteem and my low self esteem keeps me from building positive interactions with the opposite sex. :|

I feel so lame and like such a beta male. It's pathetic. I hate what chronic pain did to my life. I don't think I would have even done drugs or drank much if I hadn't been suffering so badly. But somehow I have to move past this. I'm just not really sure how. I feel okay when I don't think about it. But when I start to reflect on it all I get pretty depressed.
 
I dont buy into beta male etc, I just think there are people who like themselves and if you like yourself some people will like you back

what you project about yourself is how people will view you

if you dont like yourself they will see that you have negative body language and cos people are egocentric they will just think the person sending out netgative attitude isn't open to them

best thing in life is not having too much time to think

u cant change the past but you can change the future so this ruminating is a learnt habit of thought that isn't even useful

things that are good for depression, stop eating crappy foods (maccy d's , hydrogenated fat etc.) and get some excercise, get b vitamins in your diet somehow especially b6 and zinc

really basic but effective
 
What drugs were you using?

If it was pain I assume they were opiate based & if you used them for some time PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome) may play quite a part in how you feel, trust me on this one.
 
QuasiStoned said:
Chronic pain, drugs and alcohol, and general anxiety have pretty much lead to me keeping myself to myself. Depression, anxiety, drugs and alcohol, and chronic pain kept me sick and alone for the last 10 years. I just turned 30 and haven't had a girlfriend since high school. I just really got a bad start to my adult life and got thrown some pretty bad cards. I don't blame myself for falling into the pit that I did. Chronic pain just sort of sucks the soul out of you after a while and lead to a pretty low self esteem and a penchant for escapism.

So fast forward to now the pain is fading and after going into treatment for the 3rd time I managed to kick alcohol and haven't drank since Dec. 22nd. I try to keep myself occupied and enjoy life but there is that constant void in my soul. The feeling that I should be searching for companionship. Or even just hooking up with girls or something. And I feel I'm very poorly prepared for all of this. At my age I definitely should have a lot more experience in that department. It makes me embarrassed and unwilling to try. Realistically I think I'm physically attractive enough but my self esteem and confidence is definitely lacking. It's a dilemma. I have nothing to build my self esteem and my low self esteem keeps me from building positive interactions with the opposite sex. :|

I feel so lame and like such a beta male. It's pathetic. I hate what chronic pain did to my life. I don't think I would have even done drugs or drank much if I hadn't been suffering so badly. But somehow I have to move past this. I'm just not really sure how. I feel okay when I don't think about it. But when I start to reflect on it all I get pretty depressed.
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Bro just do something, make some changes, it is obviously that life you are living it is not pleasant to you, so just make some changes and you wil sooner or later some results.
 
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