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I don't really like sex anymore

Pagey

Pagey

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Apr 11, 2012
Messages
9,428
Location
The Valley of Ashes
So here's the background story:
My ex dumped me last april after we'd been together for over 2 years. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first serious boyfriend so you know, it was all very intense and exciting, blah blah blah. Anyway he broke up with me for rather obscure reasons completely out of the blue, left me extremely depressed and I'm still not over it - not that I think that's particularly uncommon.
The thing is, since then I've sorta had trouble having sex with anyone. Well it's weird: like I can still be completely attracted to someone when I see/think about them, but as soon as it becomes more of a reality I'm just not. It's like, the idea of sex appeals to me just as much as it used to, but whenever it looks like it's actually gonna happen it almost grosses me out. I've had one boyfriend since the breakup and it was sort of like that: I was really attracted to him, but as soon as we started having sex the attraction went down. I do'nt know why.
Same, these days I keep getting hit on for some reason, but it just grosses me out even though some of these guys are quite handsome. I don't know what it is. It bugs me I've become like this though. I'm sure it must have something to do with the breakup in april (must be added I still have strong feelings for that guy), but has this ever happened to anyone else?
 
i'm still that way since my ex. i take it to mean i am turned on by actual emotional investment and not the act of sex itself. occasionally i have some drunken casual sex, but i always feel kind of gross about it. it doesn't mean anything. i even tried sleeping with someone who was absolutely gorgeous and even though i REALLY wanted to enjoy it, it just wasn't very good.
 
I think this is because you have not been with anyone truly important since you were last with your ex. Sex is gross if its nots with someone you care about. HOnestly Of the 20ish people I've had sex with, only with one of them has the sex not been considered at least partially gross to me. That person is someone I love. Im sure youll snap out of it when you wanna get reall close to someone and then youll get up to all sorts of freakadeaky and think its the greatest thing ever lol.
 
I'm the same way- you try something, have a bad experience with it, and it's just not the same for you anymore. You just need to find the right person who appreciates you and is understanding. When you find the right person that you trust, and you feel ready, make love with them like it's your first time (maybe a bit less awkward and fumbling) and forget all negativity that surrounded sex before. The issue of associating negativity with sex due to a past trauma is something you might be able to discuss with a therapist, if you've also been struggling with depression it could really help you. best of luck!
 
It sounds like the hormone in your body, oxytocin, is not being released in amounts from your pituitary gland. This makes the subject uninterested, and/or unable to trust and form healthy sexual relationships. You may have a tumor.
 
I've been in the same situation as you and I'm a guy. Not to say this is a female problem but it was rather embarrassing when my willy acted like a hose with a leak. She was very attractive but I just couldn't get into it : (

It will get better, I learned that I don't need to push it. Everyone deserves some time to heal
 
Edvard Munch said:
It sounds like the hormone in your body, oxytocin, is not being released in amounts from your pituitary gland. This makes the subject uninterested, and/or unable to trust and form healthy sexual relationships. You may have a tumor.
Click to expand...

SOrry man but a tumor because she broke up with someone and doesnt want sex right away?? Thats so ridiculous man.
 
It bugs me I've become like this though. I'm sure it must have something to do with the breakup in april
Click to expand...

Why must it? Did co-relation suddenly start equaling causation?

It sounds like the hormone in your body, oxytocin, is not being released in amounts from your pituitary gland. This makes the subject uninterested, and/or unable to trust and form healthy sexual relationships. You may have a tumor.
Click to expand...
hahahaha, you must be trolling man,
 
Edvard Munch said:
It sounds like the hormone in your body, oxytocin, is not being released in amounts from your pituitary gland. This makes the subject uninterested, and/or unable to trust and form healthy sexual relationships. You may have a tumor.
Click to expand...

Yea, and I think mine is being released in excessive amounts. Not that often, but when it is it seems like a bit too much and far too easily. When it's not my interest in sex is nicely at zero though.
 
Hey Pagey,

I relate to your feelings about sex, although I don't have the relationships you have... that would be too much for me anymore.

I'm just getting old. I'm not ancient but old enough to feel the difference... I know my love for orgasms has deteriorated. I'm not worried about it. I don't mind either way. But I hope your situation gets better.
 
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