TDS I dont know what to do anymore....

Things aren't as grim as they seem my friend. You'll recover. I'm in a kind of similar mess, although far less extreme than yours. Been on speed for years and for the past year I've been cycling through different sedatives and other drugs. What you need to do is take a big break (i.e. a year) from drugs. I know thats a whole lot easier said than done, I haven't managed to find a solution to that one myself either but I have some plans. 1.) Go and do an ayahuasca ceremony. 2.) Practice vipassana meditation. For every problem, theres a solution. Its just a matter of finding it.
 
I was just completely assfucked off it for a long time. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy
Yeah i feel you some of my friends are using it everyday for years now, and they cant get off off it. ITs great you managed to get clean :) .
Things aren't as grim as they seem my friend. You'll recover. I'm in a kind of similar mess, although far less extreme than yours. Been on speed for years and for the past year I've been cycling through different sedatives and other drugs. What you need to do is take a big break (i.e. a year) from drugs. I know thats a whole lot easier said than done, I haven't managed to find a solution to that one myself either but I have some plans. 1.) Go and do an ayahuasca ceremony. 2.) Practice vipassana meditation. For every problem, theres a solution. Its just a matter of finding it.

Probably they arent, yet my mind makes it out that way.... and im going to B honest with you there is no way i can be sober one year. no way. I hate reality too much, i fucking hate being sober. ANd be very careful with ayahuasca, i personally wouldnt think its a great idea doing this with some shamans in the middle of nowhere because who knows what they can add to the mix....maybe just eating some shrooms can give you that experience youre searching for, i dont know. ANd sometimes the solution seems unfindable ...
 
I'm sure I'm not the only blue lighter here who's ever so curious on how you manage to financially support this lavish drug use lifestyle....

I think anyone would do the same if they had the money and spare time that you do .
Dayum I'm sorta jealous Lol ....

... But anyways dude . try and feel better by doing some of the following possibly ?...
-piracetam
- healthy food
- go HAM at the gym
- Speed dating - for your lack of women contacts . I've done it before and it was pretty fun believe it or not and I got some good contacts .
- Embrace your life - it sounds like your trying to be something that everyone else considers successful . Do what you want to do and do what you think makes you successful . there is no point in labeling yourself an incapable looser just because everyone else views u as that . you seem to be financially stable which most people would consider to be a successful trait in a person . Especially a heavy user of drugs . man I hardly use drugs and I'm not financially stable . technically you are more successful than me !!
- be positive - I know its super hard when ur feeling like how your feeling but look at what you have , how your better than others and have a positive attitude about yourself
 
I'm sure I'm not the only blue lighter here who's ever so curious on how you manage to financially support this lavish drug use lifestyle....

I think anyone would do the same if they had the money and spare time that you do .
Dayum I'm sorta jealous Lol ....

... But anyways dude . try and feel better by doing some of the following possibly ?...
-piracetam
- healthy food
- go HAM at the gym
- Speed dating - for your lack of women contacts . I've done it before and it was pretty fun believe it or not and I got some good contacts .
- Embrace your life - it sounds like your trying to be something that everyone else considers successful . Do what you want to do and do what you think makes you successful . there is no point in labeling yourself an incapable looser just because everyone else views u as that . you seem to be financially stable which most people would consider to be a successful trait in a person . Especially a heavy user of drugs . man I hardly use drugs and I'm not financially stable . technically you are more successful than me !!
- be positive - I know its super hard when ur feeling like how your feeling but look at what you have , how your better than others and have a positive attitude about yourself

Hey man thanks for replying. What is piracetam? And yeah healthy food....lol im living aloen atm and i cant cook for shit so im always eating junk food, but the in the last month i eat like one big meal a day and drink beer the rest of the time to compensante for the lack of food.

Bout the gym im too insecure and paranoid, but i would like to enrole myself into some martial arts training. THe perfect one would muai thai + boxe + brazilian ju-jitsu i just have to find a gym thats not 50 Km away and the money.

Speed dating? sorry to sound like a noob but what is taht?

ANd yeah im not good financially at all. WHen i was younger it was either gift money,daddys money, the few thousands i had saved up since i was like 10 years old, or working my ass off at some shittty ass jobs. Either way now im almost broke, live in a shit hole and spend most of my money on smokes and booze. SO i would say im pretty far from sucessful.

Its a good point to view myself different and try to hjave a positive attitude, im trying but sadly im positive only when im drunk.
 
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