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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS i don't know how to be sober

mid 30s here, drank in high school on the weekends..20s i found ghb and then opiates and dove right into addiction.got on methadone and got clean off of that and i stayed completely clean for about a year and a half(i didnt even take caffeine during this time) and i wouldnt say my sober time was painful but just straight up DULL..i would be asked to parties or other social functions i used to go to when i was high and all of my enthusiasm was gone...i would try and force myself to these same social functions sober and i was ready to leave within a half hour..it simply wasnt the same, no matter how i tried to lie to myself..so i started to become a recluse just reading, watching movies and playing videogames, working out..even after years of clean time my brain still seemed to have a very difficult time feeling pleasure..i wouldnt say im bored but i consider it more that my brain seems 'shell-shocked' meaning it was bombarded by pleasure chemicals so much in the past that it has lost its ability to feel pleasure and enjoyment..this part of sobriety(anhedonia) i hate to say has NOT gotten much better at all and ive tried welbutrin and other ssris to fix this...still no good result..i find i have to get a hard workout in every day in order to just wake my brain up...

to get sober u really have to change your lifestyle completely around and then to stay sober it requires even more effort..only things i recommend are getting your diet on track and exercising..beyond that im lost too..
 
i'm just worried about getting sober because when my dad got sober before he relapsed it took 6 years of sobriety for him to feel decent
 
Dude what the hell, it's a little scary how much I'm realizing how similar you and I are.... I should have remembered TDS existed and made this thread for myself ages ago. But you've saved me that work and if you don't mind, can we share this thread together? As like, the "TC & Mr.00 don't know how to live sober lives because all we've ever known was synthetic, temporary, euphoria, and that we really want to learn how to strive for happiness, not euphoria? To learn how to be the best we can possibly be.
 
mrflowers-the problem with addicts is that many of us come from a very poor baseline 'happiness' or 'contentment' level to begin with..many of us are either depressed or thrill-seekers, we need strong endorphin rushes to feel anything..this is where drugs help and make it worse in the long term..i have always felt my ability to feel pleasure was off andi thought drugs were magic solution and they were, but they wear off...now, my ability to feel true pleasure is really malfunctioning..how to fix it, im not sure..not too many people do know, ive email neuro-scientists and they give no answer..
 
tri buddy i'd love to share this tread with you we have in the past learned a lot form each other and i don't see that changing so swapping ideas on this thread i can only see as beneficial and not just to you and me but to everyone else who takes the time to read it and whenever you get the chance to yicks it with me we definitely should from what i know about you you could easily be one of my best friends and probably the friend that cares about my well being the most
 
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