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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i dont know anymore

DXMkid420 said:
i need some kind of drug, im more of a psycedelics and dissociativs guy, but im even considering meth. i want to see her, but i just cant. when someone calls me a drug addict loser, for some reason it just kills me.
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DXM kid, I know you well, and my advice is stick to those psychs and dissociatives if you want to be more right than you are making yourself right now.

Let's face it, you have gotten in trouble for drugs in the past, but a couple nights ago you seemed eager to improve.

If you need something, don't do any more blow, though. I have done psychedelics and dissociatives for years (dxm 100+ times in big plats), and I have stopped all opiate and plain stimulant use for quite a long time because my friends that are like me in all other regards are starting to get pretty fucked and it's obvious.

You know your girlfriend loves you, if you do something don't become a street drug crackhead, because you are full of shit if you think that is the right thing for you. My advice is to not do drugs for the next twelve hours or so and talk to her. Others will say abstain for a long time from this point, but I'm guessing you won't.

Make it through this, don't die, realize you are pushing a nail further and further into your skin that is the truth of your situation.

Best luck man, it would be sad to see a fellow extreme dex user go to regular street drug use, because I know you are pretty fucked if you do so.
 
idk how you guys can say that what his girl said was cold or heartless or whatever. I guarantee shes been trying to get him to do something about this for as long as shes known, and now its at the point where its frustrating and depressing. Especially when other people know and shes the one dating the drug addict loser, its almost worse.

OP stop the coke the comedown is the worst feeling ive ever experienced, and three grams is a lot. If you care about anything at this point youll go to a long rehab and try again.
 
ech0s85 said:
idk how you guys can say that what his girl said was cold or heartless or whatever. I guarantee shes been trying to get him to do something about this for as long as shes known, and now its at the point where its frustrating and depressing. Especially when other people know and shes the one dating the drug addict loser, its almost worse.
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True, but it's the "loser" part that would hit me the most.

DXMkid420, relationship problems come and go. This is a problem that you can fix.

I am engaged and if my woman was destroying herself with DXM and hard drugs I would get irate, too. She's not too thrilled about me being dependent on tramadol. And it seems like she has an attitude every time I go to the doctor every six months to get re-supplied. I remember when we first got together we smoked weed every night. Then she got pregnant and she gave up everything and I guess she was expecting me to as well. She just doesn't understand the nature of tramadol dependency and how hard it is. Which is odd, because before we met she was an alcoholic. She said I influenced her to stop drinking.

We have been having problems lately. Our daughter just turned a year old. She works her ass off every single night as a CNA. I am un-employed. I am the stay at home parent I guess you could say, but I can tell she gets agitated at times that I can not find work. The spark in the relationship seems to have died at times. It's killing me. And it's hard to leave when there is a child involved, you know?

Enough about me. What I'm trying to say is this problem can easily be fixed. Well, maybe not easily, but you'd be amazed at what a human can accomplish what he/she wants to. I guess I should take my own advice.
 
Bro you seriously need to get off dxm. Its worse than heroin because it will mentally and physically destroy you. Heroin does too, but, its not going to cause perminant damage(not 100 percent sure, but mostly sure)

Reach out man. Tell people around you whats going on.
 
It really depresses me that drug addicts always take the drug over someone who loves them. :\ I've dealt with it twice now, and it really sucks from the GF's perspective.
 
DXMkid420 said:
i cant come down or quit drugs. its just not an option.
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Then your option is death. If you refuse to see this then no one can help you. I've tried before and now especially don't want too because you have something that some of the lost don't(a person who really loves you). This should make your decision so easy especially after all this time and all the failed attempts to live how you currently are. If you can't reach down inside yourself and pick yourself up then you will only lie down and die. This is simply it, man. Find yourself for yourself and for others. Theres still time and always will be unless your in a casket but inaction and indecision can't stop you. Continue to trudge forward no matter how hard is it to move. Good luck.:)
 
Lysis said:
It really depresses me that drug addicts always take the drug over someone who loves them. :\ I've dealt with it twice now, and it really sucks from the GF's perspective.
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You obviously do not understand how dependency actually changes brain chemistry. If someone chooses to go on a binge over someone who loves them, then yes that is stupid, but actually being dependent and a true addict, then the loved one should do some research on addiction and dependency.

Once dependent on a drug that can cause dependency, it is literally a part of your brain chemistry. Suddenly quitting can cause severely uncomfortable withdrawal reactions as the brain does not respond well to sudden loss of the drug. Yes. During severe withdrawal, obtaining the drug is more important to the brain than even eating food.

Quitting most drugs cold-turkey is out of the question and even dangerous for a few of them. It can be done. If you can tough out withdrawal. And then there is post-acute things to deal with that can linger for months or years.
 
I'm sorry to hear how much pain you are in right now. If you're coming down from blow then everything will certainly look bleak at the moment. If you do more of it you'll feel even worse. Stimulants can easily trash your sanity if you are not careful.

What she said may have been painful but she is trying to express to you how she feels. It's difficult to watch somebody you love make decisions that are harmful to themselves. This doesn't mean you are worthless or anything like that - but you can't ignore the consequences of your actions. You have to make a choice if you want to continue using drugs the way you are, or stop and work on your relationship. If you have been doing DXM every single day for over a year, you are most likely doing major damage to your body and mind.

Don't think that you are a loser, you are somebody who choses to use a lot of drugs. As soon as you tell yourself it isn't a choice then you are avoiding taking responsibility for your actions. It may not SEEM like a choice, but it's up to you to decide how you want to live your life.
 
things just got alot worse. so i called her this morning, and asked if i could see her, she said yes. apparently she texted me saying not to come till later but i didnt get it. so i go over to her house, and shes with this fucking asshole guy that i hate. so im trying to talk to her but he wnt give us a min alone. he says"im here for her protection". so i said is anyone here for your protection, cuz your gonna need it in about 5 seconds. he tried to get all tough so i clocked him, i think i migt have broke his nose, but idk. so my gf starts yelling at me, and he gets up and swings at me, so bieng the fighter that i am, i i clocked him again, but he wouldnt stop coming at me. i ended up really hurting him, bt i guess he had it coming. he should have just stayed down. anyways, so we started argueing, she yels she hates me, but then outts nowhere comes up and kisses me. iwas so mad and so confused i just popped 3 pills of E. not even thinking of my probation drug test today, so i honestly dont know what i should do, or feel. why would she yell she hates me then kiss me? and i hoe i never see that asshole again, or im gonna end up in jail. im suprised i could still fight with how fucked up iv been
 
I didn't know those things do really happen in real life and not only in tv dramas.

Women.

Seeing two men fighting because of her makes them very "Oh no guys!STOP" While in their heads their all like " Oh wow, two guys...because of me...hihi" *hornyhorny*

My guess, she missed you and was astounded that you wanted to talk to her and go for a fight because of that.
SEE, she loves you!

Can you now stop being so lost in the illusional world and make lots of babys, get real old and wake up with a smile every morning. Now. Cause that woul be an awesome unexpectedly turn.

Yeah, I watched too much tv these days....ah

And what happened afterwards?? Comunication is actually pretty cool so ask her:Why, did you do this, women?
 
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slowdive said:
You obviously do not understand how dependency actually changes brain chemistry. If someone chooses to go on a binge over someone who loves them, then yes that is stupid, but actually being dependent and a true addict, then the loved one should do some research on addiction and dependency.

Once dependent on a drug that can cause dependency, it is literally a part of your brain chemistry. Suddenly quitting can cause severely uncomfortable withdrawal reactions as the brain does not respond well to sudden loss of the drug. Yes. During severe withdrawal, obtaining the drug is more important to the brain than even eating food.

Quitting most drugs cold-turkey is out of the question and even dangerous for a few of them. It can be done. If you can tough out withdrawal. And then there is post-acute things to deal with that can linger for months or years.
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You're not telling me anything I don't know already, but he is making no attempts at even trying. She was crying on the phone and what did he do? He bought more drugs. It just tells me he doesn't give a shit about her. If he tried and relapsed, that is a different story. She needs to find someone else, and maybe then -- when he loses the most important thing to him (so he says) -- he will realize what he is doing. He says he doesn't want to lose her, but from his post, it does not seem like it at all.
 
i kind of agree with lysis.
he just doesnt seem to want to try/
why would you eat 3 rolls just because youre sad?
 
^ I see your point as well.

Using a drug compulsively because you are sad is asking for trouble.

Did he buy more cocaine or was he just considering it?
 
DXMkid, if you continue to binge like this you will not be thinking clearly enough to make proper decisions. If this relationship is important to you then please give yourself time to come down from all the drugs and then figure out what you want to do. Aggression will not solve your relationship issues, and I strongly suggest you let yourself comedown before doing anything drastic.
 
I've read this whole thread and i do believe you love her, but you also love drugs.... and you're an addict, but you're not a loser. people who make bad choices aren't losers, but those same choices could ironically see you lose something you love, hence your GF calling you a loser.... i think she means that you're going to lose her by calling you a loser, there is irony in her words even though it was something she spontaneously said out of anger and frustration

I think you will have to make a choice, and that choice is pending.... it's something you don't have a lot of time to think about because your 2 loves are at the point of collapsing if you don't decide soon mate.

I wish i could be in your shoes because i know what choice i would make, and it wouldn't take me a second to make the right choice, not one fucking second. I don't care how bad the WD's were, or how bad a sober reality seems. you have something, someone who is crying out for a sober you, there shouldn't be a choice at all. you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and like others have said.... drugs will always be there, they can come and can they go, but your girl won't come and go.... eventually she'll be lost forever, do you really want that?

sure girls come and go too, but for someone special.... may only happen once in a lifetime. you're at the crossroads and it will probably be the most significant choice you have ever made, i just hope you take the right road, because i fear for you if you don't.

all the best.
 
DXMkid420 said:
i just popped 3 pills of E. not even thinking of my probation drug test today, so i honestly dont know what i should do, or feel.
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Am I the only one who caught this?

What do you plan to do about that drug test? You'll definitely test positive for amphetamines if you got real pills. Who knows, maybe this is a chance to ask for help...?
 
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