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I desperately need to talk to someone about this

W

WithMyLife

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
236
Tonight I made the very unwise choice of having some wine and GBL, and phoning my mum while on it.

Long story short, I passed out, she panicked, and sent the police to break into my house. Paramedic chatted to me a while before declaring me healthy, police stayed for an hour waiting for the guy to show up to board up my door. Spent an hour chatting shit to them while they stood next to the pippette and GBL.

Now waiting for the guy to finish boarding up my door.

Not sure where to go from here. My mum thought I was dying, and she's angry. She's already lost one daughter, and losing the other to a drug OD is probably something she fears, given that she knows what I do, and she knows I lost someone I love to drugs this year.

I don't know how I'll recover from this. For me, it wasn't a traumatic drug event -- it was a run of the mill GBL KO. So I can't truthfully tell her that it's changed my relationship with drugs, although I'm sure that that's the reaction I should have.

Door guy has gone now. £250 for a few planks of wood. Immeasurable cost to the rest of my life. Both my neighbours got dragged into this bullshit. I'm furious with my mum but also so so so so ashamed I can hardly think.

I've changed the thread title from "my friday night". I really, really don't want to be on my own at the moment. I am so freaked out and really want to talk to someone, is anyone around who could chat to me on msn or something?
 
I'm going to have to cut a lot of people out of my life to survive this.

It's my nieces birthday in November. I wonder if they'll throw away the present I send because it's from a dirty druggie.
 
Hey mate, just next time you decide to do drugs, make sure someone takes care of you. Your should help your parents, not to make them to be dissapointed in you.

Dont know waht to add? You seek help here...you should know the answer already.
 
shit, sounds super shitty. very sorry for you but it's defo not your mum's fault.
you answered the phone or called her :\ time to start thinking about your drug use maybe...
 
Dont take any drugs, follow healthy lifestyle, 1 month after you will change in a positive way!:)
Fuck...we build our future..etc.>D
 
Sorry guys. I just utterly freaked. I probably don't ened to talk about this.

I wanted someone to understand and figured someone here had probably been through something similar.

I've never ever felt so alone. I have no friends and now I have no family -- I can't speak to them again after they all get together and chat about this shit. It's over and done with. I might as well be dead, it'd probably be better for everyone.
 
hold on there mate!!!!!!! no need for that!!!! things will defo look better in the morning! they always do!!! this is not THAT bad, nothing is, please don't be stupid! you have friends and family but you are just not seeing that right now. they really would hate you if you did something so selfish. sadly you gotta face up to it, it will be alright eventually <3
 
Sorry to hear about what has happened to you.
Luckily for you that you have a mother that cares enough to get the emergency services around to help you when you needed it.
I imagine she is angry because she will be hurt and upset especially as you say she has already lost a daughter,she won't want to lose another child of hers.
I guess you are gonna have to do some explaining and apologising to your mum but it has to be done as she must have been scared for you.
I hope you have had a talk with someone and are feeling a bit better about things.
 
WTL, it really sounds like you're taking this harder than you need to :) I'm online, you already know but there is also The Dark Side , if you want I can move your thread over there but that's up to you (as far as I'm concerned).
 
I'm going to go now, go watch some absorbing shit on TV because I just can't handle thinking about this right now.

I'm sorry for making this thread, and its friend in the dark side. there's really nothing to talk about. I should be grateful that someone cares -- but I'm not, I'm furious for the misery and stress it has caused me. It's probably drug induced irrationality. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not, I'm just another G user who fucked up.

Any advice on how I explain my boarded up door to my new boyfriend, who knows nothing of my drug use?
 
Good to hear you're sounding a bit calmer :) You lost your keys, and the locksmith couldn't pick the lock. That's probably the simplest lie! Or you could just be honest with him. Sometimes honesty really is the best policy, it can actually bring people closer together. Or you might find out how intolerant he is, do you really want to be with an intolerant man?


edit: maybe you're not as calm as I thought :D You're in no frame of mind to be making decisions like cutting people out of your life. You need to chill out, relax. get some sleep and have a sober perspective in the morning.
 
Thanks a lot guys. I'm really really all over the place, and as you say tomorrow will bring some perspective. And as I said before, I am going to disappear to the TV. More drink and will be had, I know that;s not smart but I jut don't know how else to handle this.

Boyfriend will have to find out sooner or later that I'm not too good to be true. I suspect he'll be outwardly supportive but inwardly cautious. I suspect he'll want a statement of regret from me. As far as I'm concerned my only error was in getting "caught" (and by that I mean in causing fear, panic and untold distress to my poor sweet wonderful mother, who has stood beside me through all of these years). He is a straightfoward guy who deserves the truth. But yeah,.... no decisions tonight.
 
About the state of your door, just say that you had some really persistant Jehovah Witnesses come around knocking.
 
Whenever drugs are used and involved in someone's life (which is everybody here - Taking aside those who are abstaining right now) then cock-ups are bound to happen now and then:
The other week I got pissed up, went to see some mates, got more pissed and had some charlie, went home assuming everything was fine and that I'd just gone up to my room and fell asleep.

Then the next morning I said hello to my mum, and she asked me "What was this morning about then...?"
I had no idea what she was going on about so queried as to what she was talking about.
She asked me if I remembered being asleep on the kitchen floor until she woke me up at about 6am, and apparently I woke up and went n got in bed.
I remembered fuck all - That's how bad my problem with Ethanol-induced amnesia is at present.

Anyway.... I'm not sure what the purpose was of telling you that anecdote, other than such things happen, and with time I'm sure that your family will forgive you and everything will be like it was.
Sure, having one of her children pass away before herself, that's got to be really, really fucking hard and weigh heavily on her mind. But as she loves your sister, she loves you just the same, and I very much doubt that she would want to loose you too because of some incident - She obviously and without a shadow of a doubt loves you vastly and will not let this be a reason to lose you from her life chuck <3

As others have said - Just PM me and I'll give you contact info if you want to talk about.... well... Anything really!
Worry not, everything will be okay.
<3~:)~<3
 
third eye squeegee said:
Good purply advice from Mr Noodle as always :)
Click to expand...
My advice, good or bad (usually the latter) is always purpley ;) (thankyou for thinking so matey <3)
I just hope it was of help to you, WithMyLife <3

Oh, and p.s. I've never said this - even though it's very tardy and probably ill-timed - Welcome to BL, but more importantly = Welcome to EADD!!! :)~<3
 
All great advice has already been provided, sounds like some messy shot went down but apart from a bit of collateral damage no harm had been done.

You mum wont abandon you over something that is, in reality not a big deal and doors can be replaced...by door replacement people or summut;)

This might be an opportunity for you to talk to you BF about your drug use, IMO a better option than creating a web of deceit which is n way to build a lasting relationship, some good may come of this after all.


@Monsta FFS change that avatar, I confident to say most people here have wronged people and done things they regret, but also most people here know you're a good man who cares about others and tries to be a better person in a world that isn't always very kind.

cut you sen some slack<3

have one on me

cM9h4Ji.gif
 
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aye, could be worse. my housing association are charging me £900 inc vat for a new door after the filth took it off. oh and you overestimate us guys, we have very few airs and graces, he's not going to dump you. if he starts asking questions - offer him a blowjob. we often find it hard to use both heads at once


re the door - you locked yourself out and had to get a family friend to boot it in. simples
 
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You should calm your jets.

I phoned my mum (& my step-dad, about 10 times each because they didn't answer) while out my bin on MXE one time, while she was on holiday abroad. When she answered I spouted some mad nonsense about police and a big story about what I'd been up as though I'd actually been out the house doing shit and not just sitting in my room tripping. Could also barely string a sentence together so felt it would be wise to explain that by saying I was on ketamine. My mum doesn't know what ketamine is lol. Phoned her back the next day to tell her that I'd made it all up, I'd been in the house myself, out my face on drugs. I was prepared for the worst when she got back from holiday, but she just laughed at me. My step-dad was the same, once he realised I was OK and just being a dafty he thought it was funny.

Things aren't always as bad as you think they're going to be.
 
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