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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS i could really use some support right about now

Praline said:
Suboxone is not my ideal choice, whatever.
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Its not mine either however it does help. im not sure exactly where i stand with using them right now. they help, and i know i could go awhile without them. i just dont wanna be dependant on something else. you know? that might be the route i have to go though. guess we will see...



im doing good though. day 8. i really wanna get to day 30 so i can get a new key chain. i would feel so amazing to know i have went 30 days without dope. anyone with any advise for me would be appreciated and anyone that knows more about NA that could explain how it all works. when im high im really sociable and stuff, however sober im not really anymore. guess its cause im not used to being sober....but thanks for reading everyone. I appreciate it. and i hope everyone else is doing well. keeping everyone in my prayers.
 
dopesickk I'm really glad to hear you've got 8 days under your belt, I'm so proud of you. Can't wait til you get that 30 day key chain! I used to think I was more sociable when I was high but I think it's more just like placing armour on yourself. You might seem more sociable at the time but you won't be high forever/the people will find the 'real' you. I think working at your socialising skills will help you in the long run and be a more permanent fix to the solution. I can be pretty introverted at times but am making a conscious effort to get out of my comfort zone, meet new people, etc. I hope you stay strong and keep your head up. One love.
 
Thanks Eric B. Im proud of myself too. its only 9 days today, but its 9 days more than i have ever went without dope. its a work in progress. im just waiting for it to start getting easier. one day at a time is all we can hope for. one minute at a time on days the urge to use is unbearable. every day i wake up and choose not to use is a blessing. i have some other demons to battle but ill worry about them when the time comes. I want to find myself a good sponsor to help me with the steps and start to progress in this recovery. even though its only 9 days i dont wanna mess it up and have to start over. i wanna continue on the road to recovery and look back one day and say that i beat the statistics. its not easy. i think quitting smoking is impossible, but if i can do this, then thats my next step to living a better/healthier more enjoyable life.

besides my recovery and my legal issues, i have a lot more on my plate. but thats apart of life i suppose. you have to work on one thing at a time and everything will fall into place. in my experience, when it rains, its pours. being broke is the root of all evil. hell with about 10 grand i could be on cloud 9 right now. worry free and drug free. but hell im lucky to have a job and steady income although im going to be an even poorer man than i have been for the next few months. life is good despite what the man on my right shoulder is telling me. sometimes you have to remind yourself that the other shoulder carries a man with a halo even though its hard to remember sometimes. the bad always outweighs the good. but thats a part of life. gods by my side and apparently has a different plan for me than where my life was headed. im not out of the weeds yet, not even close. but i have faith and thats all i can do is keep my head held high and my arms in the air ready for whatever curve ball is thrown at me next. because bases are loaded and i already have two strikes. so its either a grand slam for the win, or striking out like i have been recently. but i have a feeling my luck is going to start coming around here soon.
 
Thats rough brotha. My parents first found out about my heroin use while I was in jail so I didnt get the chance to stand up for myself or explain anything... they heard it all from my ex, that sucked. That was 2 yrs ago and everything is back to normal now and everyone completely trusts me so dont worry too much. Its rough gojng but just stay clean and youll regain trust and no one can say shit. Good luck
 
27 days today. Day two without suoxone. Went to court Thursday and got off pretty easy id say. One year probation and 180 days suspended in jail. And court costs. Now I just can't fuck up. With anything which scares the shit out of me but what can I say.
 
Congratulations dopesikk. I'm really happy you've got 27 days clean and only probation and suspended sentence. Best of luck.
 
dopesickk said:
27 days today. Day two without suoxone. Went to court Thursday and got off pretty easy id say. One year probation and 180 days suspended in jail. And court costs. Now I just can't fuck up. With anything which scares the shit out of me but what can I say.
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Keep going strong man! Before you know it, the year will have passed and you will still be doing good. Just keep your life going in a good direction.

Congratulations on your 27 days and best of luck.
 
Thanks everyone. Since dropping the suboxone, I have really been struggling though. I really think I need a crutch to lean on. My motivation is lacking more than ever before, I hate the way I'm feeling. Im seriously debating getting on sub maint and properly weaning or something. I feel like I either have to quit my job, which is not an option or figure out an alternative route.. idk what I can do.
 
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