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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i can't talk to my parents

M

Mafioso

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Feb 14, 2010
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its been so long since i've been sincere about my emotions and my life direction with my parents that i don't know where to begin. its not that i've been living some huge secret life behind their backs- in fact they know most of what i do, we just never verbalize anything around each other. i mean i talk to my parents about little shit, but god as soon as we run out of small talk we run out of conversation. there wasn't a huge break in communication, it was more like a slow disappearance of the little communication that was there. its to the point now where answering simple questions from my dad feels like an interrogation. im a sarcastic smartass in my head, a cold asshole in real life. its not that im always that way, its just when im around them all my thoughts get dark and depressing. i feel like im trapped and i need to escape. immediately after walking away and giving them the cold shoulder i feel regret and feel like an idiot for treating my parents with disrespect. i feel so bipolar, it used to be not as bad but i think its getting worse. i don't know what to do, what to say, or how to act around my own fucking parents. what the hell is going on...??
 
I can be a little anti-social and harsh with my parents sometimes too.. It's like I just get annoyed so easily at anything they ask me.. My mom will come to me with a nice little story about her day and I'll just be like, "That's great mom" thinking in my head "are you done yet?"

I'm such a sunnuvabitch =\
 
Telling your parents exactly the same things you told us in your post would be a good start. I'm betting they wish there was less distance in their relationship with you too. Acknowledging the problem is usually the first step towards solving it.
 
Just remember...one day they will be gone. Enjoy every moment you have with them dude. I could take some of my own adivce...my mom is great at letting me vent my bullshit to her, but sometimes I feel bad for things I say.
 
ya man i know and thats what kills me. i know they won't be here forever but i act like they will, like there will always be tomorrow. when i'm around them i can only bring myself to say 2 or 3 sentences and maybe some yes and no. i get stuck on stupid and i don't know how to express myself around them. i don't even vent or anything to my parents anymore. literally, like 2 or 3 sentences and thats it, thats all i can get out, thats all that comes to mind.
 
I struggled with this issue for a long time, eventually i broke down emotionally and told them 'I love them'.. opening up with everything in my life, hoping this would create a more direct line of communication between myself and them.

But as time went on, nothing changed.. it remained more or less the same, i feel as though they sometimes act completley oblivious to who i actually am, and retain this self-created idea of who i am, and because of this.. it makes conversation extremely difficult because we cannot relate to each other, even though they know everything about me..

What i've found to work for me, is to treat them less like your parents and more like friends, or just people, after-all that's all they are. There's no superiority here, you should be-able to act exactly like you would in-front of anyone else.. this way there presence won't force you to put on some fake persona or expected image which is more then likely creating the tension.
 
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