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I can't cum - question from a male...

nolys said:
Actually holds some merit that comment he made imo a pussy isn't the same as your own hand, hand will be tighter and perfect whilst a pussy is a pussy it can't change.
Though I think he's wrong still it was decent feedback
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treezy z said:
maybe stop jerking off cuz your hands tighter than a pussy or mouth.
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There's some truth in this, in a previous relationship where I jerked off at least daily I could last hours rooting. When the sex was more constant and I didn't need to jerk off as much I would cum a lot quicker durin sex.
 
Can't multiquote but ill try to answer everything.
I doubt viagra will work, I can keep it hard for hours, just can't achieve orgasm
I don't feel nervous whatsoever though I might be sub-consciously
I am uncircumsised
And I never use a condom

Fuck my life lol
 
I'd suggest wearing a condom. It's possible that you have deep rooted sub-conscious issues pertaining to impregnation. Even though condoms reduce sensitivity, it's worth a try. Since you can cum via masturbation, it has to be psychological. I would suggest drugs, but pharmaceuticals - like Viagra - are just going to make it worse. They don't make drugs to reduce sexual stamina. Have you ever considered doing porn?

Read this article.

"It is the third most common male sexual disorder after impotence (erectile dysfunction) and premature ejaculation. However, it is nothing like as common as the other two... Delayed ejaculation is not easy to treat: only 58 per cent of cases I've seen were significantly improved by treatment."
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Which recreational drugs, if any, have you used for sexual purposes? (At any time in your life.)
 
Thanks foreverafter, I doubt its the impregnation thing though I wouldn't mind if this girl got pregnant I would happilly raise a child with her,
Delayed ejaculation is a bastard

I havnt used any for the sole purpose of sex, never used viagra or any of that before but I've had sex under the influence of alcohol, mephedrone once, possibly cocaine once, cannabis and I think I got a blow job on valium before

Would a benzo of some sort be any use in this situation? If its an underlying psycological anxiety problem? Obviously the doctor won't give benzos to someone for this but would it have any benefit?
 
I would definitely experiment, carefully, with drugs and sex. Not sure which drugs. Amphetamines/ Cocaine/ Ecstasy/ DXM/ Alcohol - all make you l ast longer. Though, if it is a deep-rooted psychological issue, you might be able to "disrupt" it by altering your consciousness in various ways. I don't know if you're keen on doing LSD and fucking somebody, but I find psychedelics drastically alter the sexual experience - to the point where, physically or psychologically, I am no longer the same person. As for the impregnation thing, you might consciously want to impregnate her, while subconsciously - for whatever reason - resisting the idea. It was just an idea. I would try: MDMA and/or LSD. The benzo might work. I don't know.
 
ForEverAfter said:
I would definitely experiment, carefully, with drugs and sex. Not sure which drugs. Amphetamines/ Cocaine/ Ecstasy/ DXM/ Alcohol - all make you l ast longer. Though, if it is a deep-rooted psychological issue, you might be able to "disrupt" it by altering your consciousness in various ways. I don't know if you're keen on doing LSD and fucking somebody, but I find psychedelics drastically alter the sexual experience - to the point where, physically or psychologically, I am no longer the same person. As for the impregnation thing, you might consciously want to impregnate her, while subconsciously - for whatever reason - resisting the idea. It was just an idea. I would try: MDMA and/or LSD. The benzo might work. I don't know.
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Thank you for the input mate its actually been very helpful, well it could be very helpful I don't know yet.
I've never had sex under the influence of a psychedelic though I would be willing to give it a try, I don't think I could manage it on psilocin but I could on lsd. I've only taken truffles once in amsterdam and lsd once at a lowish dose before but I would definitly be up for trying lsd and sex.
I don't know about the mdma though, I can't even make myself hard on mdma never mind somebody else making me ejaculate.
And I think I will try valium + proper sex when I get a chance.
What dosage of valium would be used for anxiety problems? Would 20mg suffice? I havnt got any tolerance at present, though my tolerance to benzos is naturally high, I barely feel 10mg at all
 
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Do you take Zoloft or any SSRI's? Back when I was in High School I took Zoloft, and it made it impossible to cum. The thing is, eventually I could. It was pretty cool though, rumors spread that I could bang for hours until the girl had to stop, and the girls lined up. Ah, good times. However, when I quit Zoloft luckily I was in a commited relationship, I experienced literally.... Touching a girl, I would almost cum. Sticking it in 1 stroke I would cum. That lasted for a couple months until things finally balanced out. But my problem when I was younger was Zoloft.
 
hm, i'd suggest a low dose of a psychedelic phenethylamine (if you're into that stuff), like 2C-E or (probably better) 2C-B. they tend to make tactile sensations very strong, which could help. when i masturbate on 2C-E, it only takes me like a minute to cum, even without watching porn.^^
 
There are all sorts of interesting debates about delayed ejaculation. My bf has it and now he only comes from sex every 3 months or so, in the beginning it was more like once every 2 weeks but it's because we'd have sex 6 times a day :) he says even now he comes with me more than with anyone else he's every been with in a long-term relationship. Now we still have sex a lot but usually he needs focused prostate stimulation to come really hard, and I'm happy to oblige! He also comes when I give him blowjobs and handjobs, but it does take a long time. Read online, there are lots of theories out there but the ones that apply to him I think are:

Being too concerned with pleasing the woman to be able to go "into his head" or be "selfish" and focus on his own pleasure. He has low self esteem and gets sense of worth from being a good lover so he'll always make sure I come, that my fantasies are fulfilled etc. but I had to work hard to find out what he's into and for him to let me pleasure him too. It's easier for him to come if I'm focusing on him (bj etc.) because then he can focus on the sensations and not be so focused on my experience. He also does come harder with a finger in the ass... anyway the coming when asleep makes sense, you weren't so self conscious.

Having sex when not aroused enough - e.g. almost all people with delayed ejaculation get strong long-lasting erections, but the theory is that in fact they are not always aroused enough to ejaculate but are doing it because they want to make the woman feel desired or they want to be intimate. It is recommended that you share fantasies, turn-ons etc. and that you have long foreplay, so you're really turned on by the time you enter her. When we're really filthy/kinky with each other he is way more likely to come.

Also we don't bang for hours until we're sore, we just go on for a while, say 30 mins, then he might pull out make himself come in other ways, or we'll just snuggle up, or I'll do things to him, sometimes we focus on giving each other oral or pleasuring each other in other ways, doesn't always have to be about penetration- be creative!
 
I used to have this same exact problem, Id always focus on them cumming instead of me (even this one girl who it may as well been impossible for her to lol). Idk what it was then and still dont. Ive fixed the problem now, ive been with the same girl for 2.5 years so if it was an ego thing for me (and if it is for you too) eventually youll get comfortable enough where you just dont give a shit lmfao. And im not saying its an ego thing, it might be a subconcious thing. You can cum from jerking off so try having her beat you off and if it is a comfort thing maybe just finally getting it over with will fix it. Cant hurt to try anyway (well it COULD but whatever ;P) lol

Try mixing it up when you DO have sex do different positions; there are some that feel ALOT better for us guys than others. Or, you could try NOT having sex for a while let it build up in your system, maybe even have her tease you so it DOES build up lol. Eventually itll prolly work itself out, id refrain from drugs while you do it (ESPECIALLY opiates. They pretty much make it so you CANT cum. Its god fucking awful lmfao)

Best of luck hope this helped sum whey :P lol if youd like i can list some good positions lmfao. XP
 
Great news to update this thread with,
I finally managed to cum from sex and there are 3 possible reasons for this I'm not sure which one did it though.
1. I used a condom for pretty much the first time.
2. My mind was a million miles away during sex I had something big on my mind and wasn't thinking about the actual sex at all
3. I havnt had sex or masturbated in about 8 days for certain reasons

I think it was either reason 1 or 2 though, I'm unsure which one though I think I'd say number 2 if I had to chose.

I didn't just cum after an hour or something either, it took me less than ten minutes to get there. I have no idea how the fuck this happened, my girlfriend was amazed when I managed to cum after a few hour+ sessions with no luck.
I got a hand job yesterday too and felt as though I could have came if more time was given.
I don't know why but I'm not complaining, maybe I just feel completely comfortable with her now or something?

Just thought I'd let you all know
 
Hey mate, I reckon having a chat to a counsellor/psychologist is your best bet on this one. You certainly don't have any physical issues, so it's got to be psychological.

I think the people who mentioned being able to zone completely in on what you're doing and removing any anxiety/stress are on the money, and getting your head around the problem with a professional will help you sort it :)

Good luck!
 
When you masturbate, is it a quick affair, or an unplanned messy spurt? Is your penis left in an okay condition, or is it ravaged with blisters? Is it a Vo5 commercial or the entire episode of iCarly? Are you on any medication? Are you terribly unattractive?
 
How do you masturbate? I've read in Savage Love that a number of dudes use a really tight grip when masturbating and since their penises are used to that they can't come during sex of any kind. If this is the case you'll need to re-educate your penis by jerking more gently.
 
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