i cannot write you now, the apology
flows from me like caress,
exactly as your body slid
against me, fulfilled the expectation
and empty, waiting.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
a promise i rehearsed and still
fumbled at the end, the pressed
dollars a failed token, the seed
of a second guess.
the apology i cannot write you now
includes the ones who went before you,
how i almost whispered miss you
as you kissed my ear, though we
had never met.
i cannot write you now, the apology
a sad smile, a cocked eye afraid of
leaving with nothing left to say
teared to force need
for the moment's end.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
you will never hear though i will
wonder if you wanted it
said as you came to introduction, as you
approached and spoke.
the apology, what i cannot write you now
poses problems i cannot ignore,
fantasy grounded strict and numb
despite prophecy's defying chance
to cause this occasion.
i cannot write you now, the apology
amplifies the dark roads, the days,
the distance, but speaks hypnotic,
logic likely to lose its voice
or agree: Go.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
comes to claim you if i will not,
consumes me and conceives you
reborn to your beauty as you belong,
perfected unbroken.
the apology i cannot write you now
colors thought and thinking,
must be written, forced out whole,
self-explained and only understood
in this relation:
i cannot write you now, the apology
fears it is an always, is an
i cannot have you now.
spinkle 2004
flows from me like caress,
exactly as your body slid
against me, fulfilled the expectation
and empty, waiting.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
a promise i rehearsed and still
fumbled at the end, the pressed
dollars a failed token, the seed
of a second guess.
the apology i cannot write you now
includes the ones who went before you,
how i almost whispered miss you
as you kissed my ear, though we
had never met.
i cannot write you now, the apology
a sad smile, a cocked eye afraid of
leaving with nothing left to say
teared to force need
for the moment's end.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
you will never hear though i will
wonder if you wanted it
said as you came to introduction, as you
approached and spoke.
the apology, what i cannot write you now
poses problems i cannot ignore,
fantasy grounded strict and numb
despite prophecy's defying chance
to cause this occasion.
i cannot write you now, the apology
amplifies the dark roads, the days,
the distance, but speaks hypnotic,
logic likely to lose its voice
or agree: Go.
what i cannot write you now, the apology
comes to claim you if i will not,
consumes me and conceives you
reborn to your beauty as you belong,
perfected unbroken.
the apology i cannot write you now
colors thought and thinking,
must be written, forced out whole,
self-explained and only understood
in this relation:
i cannot write you now, the apology
fears it is an always, is an
i cannot have you now.
spinkle 2004
