OP here. I really, really do deeply appreciate having people (even strangers) here to talk to me about my problems.
I've been on 150mg Wellbutrin for about 3 weeks now, which has been giving me extra energy, as it gives you more norepinepherine like most stimulants, and with just a hint of dopamine.
However, I also saw a second psychiatrist, about 10 days ago, who I didn't tell about the other one, who prescribed me Focalin 10mg... Which is also an NDRI. I've taken Focalin on top of the Wellbutrin 5 times now.
Not to mention that a couple months ago I decided to quit opiates, after seeing dramatic changes in my face for days after a single high dose of heroin. Now, 2 fucking nights ago, when I was running on 5 and 3 hours of sleep across the last 2 nights, I was up at 4am shooting IV hydromorphone. Did 4 mg in two shots, across about half an hour. Wore short sleeves to class the next day, with about 6 needle holes in my arm, some big. Don't think anyone noticed the junkie arm on a kid in advanced math classes at a legit school...
And yes, two days later my face looks BAD from it. Holy shit, my cheeks are that cut away? Largely sleep, I'm sure, but I feel so self conscious. I worked with some people in my math class today, and it's sad to think that anyone who looks me in the face for at least a few seconds can tell I've changed my appearance from hard drugs. It's sad when I can't even work with a cute asian girl in my class without making her uncomfortable with my hard-drug face.
I have the 25 remaining focalin on my bed in front of me. I just sent my psychiatrist a message, asking for him to prescribe me Lexapro (an SSRI), so that I can get back on one of those. Fuck, I need it just to be able to stand the way I've changed my face at this point. I think a reasonable drug use goal at this point is to get on a SSRI and stay on bupropion, and then just drink caffeine if I need it or something.
I'm at least pretty happy that I haven't taken more than 1 pill in a day.
FUCK! At least I'm not on Adderall.