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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

i am weird

PlurPsyed said:
We're all fucking weirdos man. You gotta embrace that weirdness, be unapologetic about it! Life becomes a lot more positive when you adopt that sort of attitude.
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This is very true...Isnt it being an individual? Seriously OP, If its the laughing thing thats making everyone think you re a weirdo then youre gonna have to quit it...People with weird/loud/funny laughs have been made "weird"....Because they stand out when every one laughs...Like me with the accents, for a while, while you first start trying to stop, you will have to be on top of it...You will have to concentrate so as you dont do it....but this gets easier each time, and you wont have to focus so much on your laugh...

If you gotta practise at home, then do it....Just make sure noone sees or hears you walking around laughing like a madman...Thats my opinion dude on the laughing thing..You need to try and settle on YOUR laugh, get a laugh and keep it..ok..no swapping around your laughs....Find your own laugh and just keep that one...Put a funny show on that makes you laugh...Borat or similar will do it for me..for me..and laugh and laugh...ok?
Do that and maybe you wont seem so weird to other people if you arnt walking around school doing heaps of different laughs and mimicking your peers? You think?

I really wish you the best, its not nice to feel the way you are and i really fucken hope you work it out..;)
 
Its not my laugh, aside from that one time nobody has said anything. I sense other people think I'm weird. And I actually hear these conversations but I wonder if I can actually make out what their saying or if my mind creates a conversation. I'm not sure if theyre talking about me and i realize they're probably not, but they always are, you know?

I'm just not sure. I think my first trip on mushrooms caused me to feel this way. I took them with people I didn't know well and was quiet and got isolated. During the trip I heard convos that were "about me" but I realize now many (all?) were about somebody else. Am I fucking crazy?
 
some of the stuff you've said does remind me of when my youngest brother's schizophrenia was emerging, but that doesn't mean you have it. but if i were you i'd want the reassurance of knowing for sure. meds for that have come really far along.

i've always been weird. ALWAYS. I have never felt that my friends were REALLY my friends until i was well into my 20's and surrounded (so to speak as i'm not super social) myself with people who weren't "out to be social." just being regular people together. i've always had a bit of paranoia surrounding my insecurity in being a person. I remember getting a bathroom pass in elementary school and if I heard laughter in any classroom i walked by i thought they were laughing at me. i was 6. i'm just an introvert and, apparently, insecure from birth.

i hate socializing and i'm not the only one. it is weird. but so is the social butterfly who's affections always seem so insincere. it's all weird, everybody's weird which renders the label invalid in these circumstances - that makes a lot of philosophical sense, BUT has no real bearing on feeling like a weirdo because people don't get your humor, or your propensity to spout odd vaguely relevant facts, being a total retard at trying to tell a story; why do always wear black? oh, just so that you'd ask me that question, sir
 
Did anyone not hear a word that I said? "Weird" and "Normal" are just made up words people have been brainwashed to accept. Let it go.
 
harlans said:
some of the stuff you've said does remind me of when my youngest brother's schizophrenia was emerging, but that doesn't mean you have it. but if i were you i'd want the reassurance of knowing for sure. meds for that have come really far along.

i've always been weird. ALWAYS. I have never felt that my friends were REALLY my friends until i was well into my 20's and surrounded (so to speak as i'm not super social) myself with people who weren't "out to be social." just being regular people together. i've always had a bit of paranoia surrounding my insecurity in being a person. I remember getting a bathroom pass in elementary school and if I heard laughter in any classroom i walked by i thought they were laughing at me. i was 6. i'm just an introvert and, apparently, insecure from birth.

i hate socializing and i'm not the only one. it is weird. but so is the social butterfly who's affections always seem so insincere. it's all weird, everybody's weird which renders the label invalid in these circumstances - that makes a lot of philosophical sense, BUT has no real bearing on feeling like a weirdo because people don't get your humor, or your propensity to spout odd vaguely relevant facts, being a total retard at trying to tell a story; why do always wear black? oh, just so that you'd ask me that question, sir
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^Story of my life. The more I think about it, the more I think I'm just over thinking everything everybody does. But that doesn't change the fact that I feel weird. I just want to fit in and have some real friends, but how can I ever accomplish this if I can't talk to anybody? I have to force conversations and they're usually just small talk.

I brought some of this up to my roommate. He insisted that I wasn't weird, but he gets the same feeling as me of being weird. I guess I'm just not sure what to think of everything.
 
lol i'm NOT alone with copying peoples accents/laughs!! I've always done this, and i'm unaware if they've noticed or not but when i find myself doing it i get embarassed. Anyways, I too have always felt "weird" and like I can't fit in, especially in larger groups of people. It seems to be better when I'm with one maaaaybe two people who I know and feel comfortable being myself around. Also relate to thinking people are talking about or laughing at me and that people are generally "out to get me". However this has gotten much, much better with therapy/being sober. Its always comforting to know someone else feels the same! much love
 
I will be difrent with every one I ahng out with. YOur jsut socially a little back thats all meet up with your freinds more and it will soon fade :)
 
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I think this must be a pretty common thing because iv felt like this my whole life and heard of many other people like us too.what makes me feel better is just saying fuck them im different and thats just the way it is. and also recognize that its 99 percent all in your head.
 
While I think one of the most important components of life is to embrace your individuality and build confidence in yourself, in your case it seems this constitutes more than a passing annoyance, or the outsider vs. the crowd scenario. It's near impossible for me or anyone hear to assess whether your concerns can be solved by embracing your uniqueness, or if this is indicative of a problem. Getting a professional assessment sounds like a good idea to me - it couldn't hurt.

Believe me, I relish the notion of going against the grain, clashing w/ the status quo, individual expression and the like, but it sounds like there could be other forces at play here.

Good luck, and I hope you find comfort no matter the source of your discontent.
 
lars90 said:
I will be difrent with every one I ahng out with. YOur jsut socially a little back thats all meet up with your freinds more and it will soon fade :)

And this doesnt belong in TDS try asking a mod to move it. This should go to SLR unless it ahs to do with any sort of drug ?
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Well, I had about a week binge of "spice" called "Head Trip", and then about 2 weeks later took mushrooms for the first time and I got isolated. This is when these feelings really started to emerge (during the trip). Other than that I smoke cannabis on a daily basis.

My dad has bad anxiety, so I wouldn't be surprised if I have it too. He said cannabis definitely does not help, so I'm going to stay sober this summer and see how things go. All of this has made me realize that I need to get out and make some conversation, so I started talking to a girl I'm interested in, in one of my classes. I don't expect it to go anywhere (our conversations can be awkward), but it's a step!

I have also seen my friends from first semester a couple of times recently, and they said they "missed me" which suggests that all of this was really just in my head. I kind of feel like an idiot.
I thank you all for your replies/support/suggestions, this thread was a real eye opener.
 
xHippiexchildx said:
Did anyone not hear a word that I said? "Weird" and "Normal" are just made up words people have been brainwashed to accept. Let it go.
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I botha gree and disagree with this.

For one wierd is always relative you can be different and both normal at the same time.

but on the other hand emotinal kids (emos) that cut them selves and live for the pain and drugs are wiered I would say.

Your not wierd in anyway you just feel socially ocward.

OP: Let me ask you a question okay.
Have you always had lots of friends and met up with them all the time?
 
I think you are being too hard on yourself, that likely causes you to over analyze, which can only lead to paranoia. I have felt all the things you mentioned, my line of work causes me much paranoia and I feel like eyes are upon me most all the time, although my rational mind knows that nobody is interested in paying me much mind, so I simply don't allow it to bother me. Let's say someone was watching me--If I'm in public I know I won't be doing anything to unlike what every-one else is doing, and you are likely the same way, as you have managed to get this far in life. Most if not all the other things you mentioned I deal with in the same way. I know that I am different from most of my friends & family, but I can see a bit of myself in the people I allow to get close to me. I am in my late forties and I have felt much as you do most of my life, in fact I didn't develop a working "conscience" until I was in my 30's. Most important thing to me, especially with your anxiety is for you to find a way to "shelve" these thoughts that are bothering you, for examination perhaps at a later time, when you can think more clearly. Hope I am making some kind of sense for you OP.
 
I don't think it's a lot but in my home town I see about 7 friends on a regular basis. It seems like I'm usually meeting up with people daily.
 
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