Desperate I am unable to cry yet I am in absolute agony

[Coxenormous]

To answer your question directly; Yes I do get angry at random times when i'm thinking about the topic in the wrong setting

 

[December Flower]

But only certain people would understand anyways. Some unexperienced individuals wouldn't understand and call me Batshit Crazy. Thus I keep is a secret

Hey if you need a random stranger to talk it out, feel free to PM me
You might also want to look into Pseudobulbar Affect, but getting angry when thinking about something that makes you angry to me suggests that you're not suffering from it. Ppl suffering from PBA they can be happy, and express their happiness with an anger outburst, for example.

 

[trashpanda206]

Is there any hope for recovery when I cannot even release the hurt inside?

Surely there has to be a way to let go. I spoke to my counselor yesterday and while he understood what was happening to me, I was unable to get into any emotional flow.

So I am sitting here in almost unbearable pain. Yet I cannot release it and get some relief.

What am I supposed to do? My emotions have come back 1000% and I don't know how to handle them. When I was a kid I was taught that crying was seen as weak and pathetic and I was bullied for weeks on end if I expressed my emotions. I am a country boy and I guess that's how I was raised.

Where to now? I can't deal with this pain any more and I can't get any relief.

This will sound weird, but a few years ago I decided to try meditation. I needed to find some balance in my life. After a few days I found that I would randomly burst into tears for no obvious reason. Riding the bus, at the grocery store, at work - I had no control over it. I didn’t connect the crying to the meditation for a few days, but when I looked it up - sure enough I found out that meditation can release all those emotions you’ve been suppressing resulting in uncontrollable emotional breakdowns.

Give it a shot, might work.

 

[Coxenormous]

Definitely. I'm grateful that I have my art, writing and music as an emotional outlet or else I'd probably be a complete basket case by now!

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
:D

I use music as an emotional escape as well