Thanks VE. It just kind of hurts my feelings which is stupid i know. I just have been really wanted to contribute and be apart of the SL team for months but i always get rejected for some reasons. I hate being emotional. I am sorry about the snappy post.. I just dont understand what im doing wrong..
W0w0mg - I have written and deleted countless responses to your post today as I feel like I may be one of the last people you want input from right now, but I can't let it go without saying something. I can related to your hurt and frustration as I have also applied for the mod position previously and didn't get it. I can't speak of the selection process because I've haven't participated in one yet (nor is that info available for past selections once we become a mod), but did want to say that you're not doing anything wrong and not to take it personally. I do realize it does hurt and I hope you can get beyond that hurt and continue to interact with the community as you have been because you add so much to SL. I do agree with you, having an explaination would help and that's one thing I will do if I'm ever involved in the selection process for new staff is to message all the applicants with more specific details for why we made the decision we did.
The last time SL was looking for a mod I applied (wrote a ridiculously long app) and I was not selected it did hurt and I did wonder why I wasn't selected. I found that speculating and ruminating on the possible reasons is not helpful. Because I was hurt I was going to stay out of SL until I questioned my motives for being here...what is my purpose for being on Bluelight? When I first started posting I didn't know anything about how the site was ran or moderated, and had no idea staff positions were made available to the general membership. Back then my purpose for being on Bluelight was to help others get through addiction and emotional hardship, which can be done regardless of whether you're a mod or not, so I continued to post. Coincidentally there were several alcohol and benzo threads being created during that time and I didn't want those people to suffer because my feelings are hurt, and alcohol and benzos are my "specialty". Ask yourself why you are here?
The truth of the matter is that you can contribute just as much as a member, if not more, than as a moderator. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this or not, but I have found that since becoming a mod I actually spend less time interacting with the TDS and SL communities than when I was a member as there are other duties that that have to be taken care of outside of interacting with the community. It can also be stressful as we have to make decisions on discipline and there may be some resistance to decisions we make. Sometimes we have to discipline members because we are obligated to and it hurts. I have recently had to discipline a few members that I really enjoy and genuinely care about and I know our "friendship" has taken a beating because of it and I hate that. I have lost sleep over those types of situations, but as I agreed to the moderator position I agreed to uphold BLUA so I am obligated to take action. There have been times because of stress I have had to take a break, which also reduces my time interacting with members in the forum. Overall, I have found being a moderator is just as rewarding as being a member but there are differences in the two that do change the Bluelight experience for you.
You have a lot of unique experiences and great information to offer, and you make an impact in people's lives doing what you are doing now, please keep that in mind. The quality of your posts is phenomenal, and your level of honesty and willingness to share your experiences is what touches people. I know you have touched many lives and you are a key member of the Sober Living community, and that is what is important.
