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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

I am thankful for....

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Want2change

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
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Lately (mostly the last few days) life has hit me hard. So hard in fact the past 2 years have seemed like a haze,a dream, but now I've awoken. We are all plagued by addiction, we lose control, I am no exception. One of the things that I have struggled with is this one question, Can I live my life without drugs? Without anything can I have fun again? Be happy with my family again? Honestly when I first asked myself this question, I said no I can't. I focused on the negatives, how I was losing my hair at a young age and that Girls wouldn't like me, my parents fight all the time with nonstop abuse and yelling, our family is in debt just all these things that I can blame to fuel my addiction to heroin. I smoked about a gram every couple days never shot it didn't want to get that deep but was using the past year and a half. Now I'm going cold turkey and the past 21 hours have been hell but it has also opened my eyes. It got me thinking about the things I have that other people don't, maybe I'm at an emotional point right now but honestly not using has made my mind more clear and I'm not trying to say I'm better for not using I still feel extremely guilty and down on myself, but we have to look at the things we have and the positives like good health all of our limbs intact not being born in a third world country stuff like that. It can actually make a difference in the way you feel I personally am thankful for My life here on this earth, having a job, being able to go surfing every day, having two parents, Friends...What are you guys thankful for? share something wonderful about yourself and know that no matter how bad it get's somebody out there has it worse and their are people that care about you including me
 
AI'm thankful that I got the fuck away from psychiatric medication.

After being on 1000mg sodium valproate, 1000mg seroquel, 20mg escitalopram, 6mg xanax, 120mg valium and 2 mg flunitrazepam a day.... Well lets just say that I fas a fucking drooling vegetable, got fired from several jobs and went deep into heroin addiction, nearly dying several times.

So I guess you could say I'm thankful for being alive... CPR and naloxone saved my life several times.

Having been clean from all that psychiatric cocktail for 2 months... I am starting a new job, actually happy and buoyant about life for the first time in about 5 years.
 
I'm thankful for......

umm...

I don't have much I'm thankful for but I'll humor you...

Parents to take care of my ass (who is 19 going on 90 lmfao!), the few friends I have, and as far as health goes...umm...not having STDs or cancer? lol (I have a lot of health problems and am falling apart slowly but surely...I should have lung/throat cancer by the time I'm 28 from smoking at this rate lol!)

Oh, and I guess I'm thankful to have a doctor that will prescribe me pain meds, albeit, some really weak pain meds that don't do the trick, instead of writing me off as a drug seeker.
 
Doug2113 said:
I'm thankful for......

umm...

I don't have much I'm thankful for but I'll humor you...

Parents to take care of my ass (who is 19 going on 90 lmfao!), the few friends I have, and as far as health goes...umm...not having STDs or cancer? lol (I have a lot of health problems and am falling apart slowly but surely...I should have lung/throat cancer by the time I'm 28 from smoking at this rate lol!)

Oh, and I guess I'm thankful to have a doctor that will prescribe me pain meds, albeit, some really weak pain meds that don't do the trick, instead of writing me off as a drug seeker.
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I feel for ya man your right not all of us have good health what kind of conditions do you have? are they drug related or just family traits
 
Tripman said:
AI'm thankful that I got the fuck away from psychiatric medication.

After being on 1000mg sodium valproate, 1000mg seroquel, 20mg escitalopram, 6mg xanax, 120mg valium and 2 mg flunitrazepam a day.... Well lets just say that I fas a fucking drooling vegetable, got fired from several jobs and went deep into heroin addiction, nearly dying several times.

So I guess you could say I'm thankful for being alive... CPR and naloxone saved my life several times.

Having been clean from all that psychiatric cocktail for 2 months... I am starting a new job, actually happy and buoyant about life for the first time in about 5 years.
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THat's so awesome man good job I hope I can accomplish that it shows there is light at the end of the tunnel well done
 
Well, I guess I could say that I am thankful for still being alive an now clear of the addiction that literally has taken my life, just not yet. I have been sober for a year and 3 months, although the damage is done. Being so fucked up everyday caused me to not take care of myself at the simplest times such as going to the Dr when you have a kidney infection that became severe, people always told me that if I have a kidney infection, drink plenty of fluids, however, I don't think they ha vodka in mind because it cost me two months of my life I don't remember in ICU in full renal failure, with both kidneys and liver shutting down completely, in and out of a hetic coma for almost the full two months, and with the Dr's telling my parents that they should make arrangements because I wasn't coming home. Well thankfully, I made it home, and all but my liver and spleen have made a full recovery, but I now suffer from end stage liver disease, and at the age of 37, if I do not find a liver donor soon, it's doubtful that I will see 40. But I guess I'm ok with it as I caused a good part of it. with my addiction. So I count my blessings that I wake up everyday, even if I'm not waking up in my house which is in foreclosure, even if I'm not waking up to my ex-wife laying next to me (well she wouldn't be ex is she were), even if I wake up, and have no worldly possessions that indicate my mark on this world, even if I can no longer wake up to goto a job, and even if I wake up in excruciating pain everyday, I am thankful for the fact that for now anyway, I am atleast waking up. Thanks want2change for starting this post to help keep me grounded and realize that while I have nothing anymore, not even my health, I still have me, and I'm still waking up every morning, for now. It's so easy to forget about those who battled their addiction and were in the same place we have been, however, they eventually had to pay the ultimate sacrifice an are no longer here with us, but have left their legacy for us to learn from. Well for today, I am still here, and that alone is something to be thankful for.
 
This is a really great idea for a thread, but I don't think BDD's the right place for it - feel free to talk about things you are thankful for in the BDD social by all means, or there is a thread in The Dark Side called "Today I am thankful for.." (link here) which is very similar. I was going to merge this with that one but it's got a bit long.. so I'll close it, but please feel free to come over to the thread in TDS if you want to keep this going :)
 
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