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TDS I am terrified . Help.

Bambooshoot

Bambooshoot

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
438
Hey guys. I started writing a much more detailed post about this but I'm afraid it might be quite incriminating if it ever came to it.

I am a IV heroin user and I cannot afford my habit. Back in November I got introduced to an extremely dangerous man who started selling in the area. Just out of jail for attempted murder. He was well aware of my habit. I was incredibly vulnerable at the time as my fiancé committed suicide only a few months earlier. I started helping him with bits and pieces and got my habit taken care of. But I've turned into a PA like I am on call 24/7 if he wants a beer then he just calls and tell me to go to the shops. And now I don't get my habit paid for. I pay for everything but he still expects me to do everything (not sexual) even though he stays with his girlfriend (who he is violent to).

The thing is he found out where I live and I am terrified of saying no to him and being hurt and or blackmailed. He had done it before... He sexually harasses me too tonight in front of his girlfriend and another guy he took his cock out and shoved it in my face telling me to touch it while laughing and swinging it around. Just to humiliate me. He has also tried to steal money out my purse. He makes me give him hits of heroin too. Like I'm some fucking on call nurse. Offers me stuff when he knows I'm withdrawing and won't say no but can't afford to pay so I have to shoplift to make the money. He will sit and boast about stabbing people or slitting their throats and on more then one occasion he put the serrated knife to my throat to show my exactly how it's done. If it is not that it's how he chokes people. This is only a handful of thing he does. It's 24/7 if I'm not with him I am worrying about it.

Guys he is ruling my life and I really cannot go on like this. I'm terrified of standing up for myself I tried that once and got put straight in my place. My question is is there anyone out there that had any advice at all on the situation? Cause at the moment it seems my only option is to run as far as I can and never look back. But why should I have to run from my home? Fuck I dunno guys if you can think of anything please share. I know there is not going to be a magic wand that can be waved, if only! I don't have anyone I can talk to about this, I had to get it off my chest. I'm sorry about the horrible structure of the way this is written, I'm tired. And if you read this all thank you. Thank you for your time.
 
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Bamboo shoot hugs hun, you can definitely run away far far away from this man. You have to do it now and seek help. Do you have any family or relatives away from that place that you can stay for until you get your life on track?
 
You should get far away from him. Change your number and only tell those closest to you and make sure you tell them why. You are terrified for good reason--he sounds like someone that has to feel power over others and he knows he has gotten you in a position of fear and he likes that. You can't change this situation by staying, so you need to protect yourself. Tell people to tell him you went to rehab somewhere and then go somewhere safe for as long as you can.

Take care, Bambooshoot.<3
 
Bambooshoot,

RUN, do not walk, away from this situation. Nothing good will come of this. Change your number, block him, get a restraining order/no contact order. You will be so much better without him.
 
Yeah get the fuck away from that psycho. With his mind and past decisions it wouldn't be surprising if he tried to do something. Find some where safe and get the hell out of there. That's a scary situation, makes me scared just thinking about. Like others have said, change your number, restraining order or whatever you gotta do. Your life could potentially be in danger right now. I'd do everything possible
 
Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply. If I change my number he will come to my house, we only live a 10 min walk from each other .... I think you are all right though running is my only option at this point but I cannot afford to move. Also this would take time and planning no? I'm in the uk so I can not arm and protect myself. He could though I was present last night when he asked someone about getting a gun. Fuckfuck. I can only imagine how trigger happy he would be. He has contacted me already this morning demanding money because he put all his up his fucking arm and now can't afford to re-up.
As far as a restraining order goes I don't know how to go about that here in the uk. And couldn't either I would be labeled a grass (snitch) and get a beating for it. Can't go on like this. It is a living hell. Thanks again for your replies.
 
Well this man is obviously a psychopath, making him a very dangerous man indeed.
Sounds like you have an ultimatum. Yer life/Running. Sounds like an easy choice to me.
Yes you can run, its your only option if this man is indeed what you describe him to be.
 
I was in this situation once...send him a note saying you want no further contact with him and keep it short (don't even say why).
Don't talk to him,EVER...even if he threatens you or blackmails you. (He's gonna do what he's gonna do)
Keep your door locked and if he comes to your house call the cops.
These situations only get worse...
I was armed and had a big mean dog and two big friends stay with me while I went thru this shitstorm...
He will go away and pick on someone else..just stick to your guns and NEVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN...
 
Bambooshoot said:
Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply. If I change my number he will come to my house, we only live a 10 min walk from each other .... I think you are all right though running is my only option at this point but I cannot afford to move. Also this would take time and planning no? I'm in the uk so I can not arm and protect myself. He could though I was present last night when he asked someone about getting a gun. Fuckfuck. I can only imagine how trigger happy he would be. He has contacted me already this morning demanding money because he put all his up his fucking arm and now can't afford to re-up.
As far as a restraining order goes I don't know how to go about that here in the uk. And couldn't either I would be labeled a grass (snitch) and get a beating for it. Can't go on like this. It is a living hell. Thanks again for your replies.
Click to expand...

http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/restraining_orders/

That may be helpful for you.

Do you have family far away you could move in with? How about women's safety shelters? Don't let this fucker think he can control you and put fear into you. You're so much stronger than that.
 
Bambooshoots, I was thinking of a women's shelter too but then I realized that you probably would have to be drug free. What about rehab? Is there any way that you could go to an inpatient rehab in a different part of the country?
 
I think the first thing to do is try and get on maintenance like Captain said. Because as long as you are hooked on heroin, it's going to be hard to stay away from this man. Once you can get stabilized then you won't have a reason to keep seeing him. He won't have anything to "blackmail" you with then.

Change your number and stay with somebody for a week or two since moving is not feasible. He can bang on your door to his heart's content but if you're not there enough times he will give up. Even if you are home, I don't see the problem calling the police. You're not snitching when the man is terrorizing you.

He is feeding off your fear and is counting on you being scared. Stop giving him this power. He is a vile person and I'm sure you're not the first or last girl he's done this to. Please get yourself some counseling. Don't be afraid to tell people what you're going through. Get off the dope so you can get your life back! <3
 
T. Calderone said:
He is feeding off your fear and is counting on you being scared. Stop giving him this power. He is a vile person and I'm sure you're not the first or last girl he's done this to. Please get yourself some counseling. Don't be afraid to tell people what you're going through. Get off the dope so you can get your life back! <3
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this.
 
Yeah I would stay with someone if you can. This guy sounds like a psychopath. TBH I don't really see a restraining order doing much good.
 
^ true. Restraining orders only work for law abiding folks who aren't psychotic.
 
I haven't posted much and I'm not one to do a lot of talking, but this post struck home with me. I found myself quickly getting into a situation just like this one and I stayed because I was scared and I wanted to protect the children of this man from him and their stepmom. Eventually I had to leave the area...and, heartbreakingly, leave the kids behind, too. It was one of the most awful things I've been through, I loved those children like they were mine, but this man had threatened me so much and made it so perfectly clear he was willing to follow through...I realized one day that I had to LEAVE or DIE, there was no reasoning with this man and the cops didn't give two shits.

RUN and RUN FAST. Things can be replaced, connections can be made, at worst you will be forced to drop your habit for some time and seek maintenance or quit, but I those are better options than losing your life. People like that are in a completely screwed mental state, they are beyond reasoning with. I truly wish you luck, I hope you find the strength and means to lift yourself out of this.
 
The gun situation over there in the UK is sad. It's times like this when somone would possibly need to defend themselves but they can't. Yes there are other means of doing it but a cap in somones ass get the point through. If it was me I'd still obtain a gun anyways but I'm not saying to do it.
 
Can you carry tasers and mace in the UK? I'm not promoting violence, just a way to protect yourself.
 
Oxy_Ghost said:
The gun situation over there in the UK is sad. It's times like this when somone would possibly need to defend themselves but they can't. Yes there are other means of doing it but a cap in somones ass get the point through. If it was me I'd still obtain a gun anyways but I'm not saying to do it.
Click to expand...

Not to derail the thread but it's legal for a citizen to own a rifle or shotgun right? I guess the next best thing would be to have a vicious dog but that could bring it's own set of problems. Also as far as owning a gun, you'd best be ready to use it which some people just aren't. In most self defense scenarios a second's hesitation could result in your gun being taken away and potentially used against you. And I know absolutely nothing about how the UK is as far as self defense cases, so I guess unfortunately it would probably be best to just get away from the situation even if it means losing some belongings.
 
I don't think you need to move really. First of all text him and say you are getting clean and you don't want him to contact you anymore. Maybe tell him you got in trouble at work or got arrested or had a scary run in with the cops. Something that isn't threatening to him but would make him stay away from you. Tell him your landlord told you he is aware you are doing drugs and is watching your house and reporting any suspicious activity
Make sure you have your house locked up tight. There are ways to make him leave you alone because he will be sketched out without threatening him. That's just some ideas I have that u don't have to directly go to the police. Some people might not agree with me telling you. Bullshit him and just to directly nip it in the bud but I dunno. I dealt with scary dangerous people that I did want to contact me anymore who we're threatening me.
 
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