HoodedForestMan
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 25, 2017
- Messages
- 16
Hello. My Taoism is telling me not to write this post here but I just don't want to regret not doing so.
Up until the age of seven, I was destined to be a sad hermit. I thought "How could I possibly be different from any other soul?". Then, after one of my monthly episodes, my Mother confessed to me that I was not normal. I had Autism. I was diagnosed at the age of 3, but not told until then.
My outlook completely changed. Knowing that I was different, I realized that I could perhaps help the world. So I set off to be a good person from then on. I opened doors for girls. I picked up pencils that people dropped.
After a billion times of trying to help people, I found out that people could not be helped. I was not fast enough to open doors or pick up pencils. Helping people is only a burden to them, false modesty. We only think that walking up to someone and annoying them is "helping them" because that is what we have been taught.
So at the age of twelve, I decided to help myself. I set off on the spiritual journey of Yoga and meditation. I had moved to california to live with my Father a year prior, because I was too much for my Mom to handle. My Dad was terrible. Honestly, I think he contributed more to my current state than the vaccines.
I met my friend Charly, who was the one who introduced me to the spiritual path. He taught me that Christianity was bullshit, and that God was the entire universe. He said that God sent out pieces of himself to experience himself and to learn and eventually return to him, carrying their acquired knowledge. He said that the only way to return to him was to attain the spiritual state, which is oneness with God.
When I was fourteen, I made the huge move to become a raw-fooder. However, I did not know how to get proper nutrition. That was when the real pain began.
I was forced against my will to sing meaningless raps and dance in strange ways in front of everyone in my highschool as a freshman. Everyone though that was who I was. Not even my family knew that I was spiritual until recently. Do they really care??? Nope. The only human being on this planet who cares about my in my girlfriend, Chenoa. She is the only thing important to me now.
Anyway, there was this girl in ninth grade who said she would kiss me if I danced in the quad with the music rolling from the loudspeakers during lunch. I did not want to, but I was desperate for a first kiss. Which I still have not had. I will be having my first kiss in the parking lot in front of Jamba juice this fryday.
I thought that that was going to be the end of the nightmare, but when I returned to school the next day, there was a line of students asking me to dance. Practicing the pacifism that Charly taught me, I reluctantly agreed.
People began to say "If you dance, then why don't you rap". I said "Okay, fine".
The pain reached it's peak that year, but it has always been there. I even remember being in pain as a baby in the carriage.
I lived again with my Mom for a year in 2015. That was when I fell into the trap of Christianity and Mormonism. RIght when I was about to join, they confessed to me that indeed they did believe that we become Gods. Which is true. I said "What if I don't want to be become a God???'. They were shocked. They basicly said I had no choice. Over the next few weeks, I realized that all religions besides Hinduism contradicted the concept of free will.
On my ascent back to california, I got into Hinduism.
I attempted suicide 3 times after that and was trapped in a mental hospital twice.
Then I took LSD.
The LSD made me realize that Hinduism was not perfect either. Now I'm agnostic.
So back in november, on november 28th 2016, I rented my soul to Satan. Ever since then, I have been feeling incredible peace and wisdom. I did not want to sell my soul because, what if I change my mind?
Since my trip on LSD(200 mg) I have taken DXM twice. I have also smoked mugwort, taken DMAE which is not a drug but really gave me wicked dreams, and I took this weird pink stuff my friend gave me.
I met my girlfriend a couple weaks ago and we went to the prom. SHe is my first real girlfriend. Meditation used to be my girlfriend, now she is.
Oh yeah. I stopped meditating after I took LSD because I no-longer need it now.
I hope I am Welcome here,
whoever the heck I am.
Up until the age of seven, I was destined to be a sad hermit. I thought "How could I possibly be different from any other soul?". Then, after one of my monthly episodes, my Mother confessed to me that I was not normal. I had Autism. I was diagnosed at the age of 3, but not told until then.
My outlook completely changed. Knowing that I was different, I realized that I could perhaps help the world. So I set off to be a good person from then on. I opened doors for girls. I picked up pencils that people dropped.
After a billion times of trying to help people, I found out that people could not be helped. I was not fast enough to open doors or pick up pencils. Helping people is only a burden to them, false modesty. We only think that walking up to someone and annoying them is "helping them" because that is what we have been taught.
So at the age of twelve, I decided to help myself. I set off on the spiritual journey of Yoga and meditation. I had moved to california to live with my Father a year prior, because I was too much for my Mom to handle. My Dad was terrible. Honestly, I think he contributed more to my current state than the vaccines.
I met my friend Charly, who was the one who introduced me to the spiritual path. He taught me that Christianity was bullshit, and that God was the entire universe. He said that God sent out pieces of himself to experience himself and to learn and eventually return to him, carrying their acquired knowledge. He said that the only way to return to him was to attain the spiritual state, which is oneness with God.
When I was fourteen, I made the huge move to become a raw-fooder. However, I did not know how to get proper nutrition. That was when the real pain began.
I was forced against my will to sing meaningless raps and dance in strange ways in front of everyone in my highschool as a freshman. Everyone though that was who I was. Not even my family knew that I was spiritual until recently. Do they really care??? Nope. The only human being on this planet who cares about my in my girlfriend, Chenoa. She is the only thing important to me now.
Anyway, there was this girl in ninth grade who said she would kiss me if I danced in the quad with the music rolling from the loudspeakers during lunch. I did not want to, but I was desperate for a first kiss. Which I still have not had. I will be having my first kiss in the parking lot in front of Jamba juice this fryday.
I thought that that was going to be the end of the nightmare, but when I returned to school the next day, there was a line of students asking me to dance. Practicing the pacifism that Charly taught me, I reluctantly agreed.
People began to say "If you dance, then why don't you rap". I said "Okay, fine".
The pain reached it's peak that year, but it has always been there. I even remember being in pain as a baby in the carriage.
I lived again with my Mom for a year in 2015. That was when I fell into the trap of Christianity and Mormonism. RIght when I was about to join, they confessed to me that indeed they did believe that we become Gods. Which is true. I said "What if I don't want to be become a God???'. They were shocked. They basicly said I had no choice. Over the next few weeks, I realized that all religions besides Hinduism contradicted the concept of free will.
On my ascent back to california, I got into Hinduism.
I attempted suicide 3 times after that and was trapped in a mental hospital twice.
Then I took LSD.
The LSD made me realize that Hinduism was not perfect either. Now I'm agnostic.
So back in november, on november 28th 2016, I rented my soul to Satan. Ever since then, I have been feeling incredible peace and wisdom. I did not want to sell my soul because, what if I change my mind?
Since my trip on LSD(200 mg) I have taken DXM twice. I have also smoked mugwort, taken DMAE which is not a drug but really gave me wicked dreams, and I took this weird pink stuff my friend gave me.
I met my girlfriend a couple weaks ago and we went to the prom. SHe is my first real girlfriend. Meditation used to be my girlfriend, now she is.
Oh yeah. I stopped meditating after I took LSD because I no-longer need it now.
I hope I am Welcome here,
whoever the heck I am.
