Ok. Its a long long story so pls be patient to read this. I m so sorry to say it all started with just a touch. I wasnt born in the US. I have been here for only 4 years. My boyfriend came here 2 years ahead of me and got settled down before I came here as a student. Me and my boyfriend of 8 years used to hang out with his best friend of 20 years almost everyday since I got here. We had a great time together. More importantly, I was never attracted to him and I can positively say he never got attracted to me. I am so down at heel and I m just a girl of plain looks. But I can say that he does look up to me and my boyfriend's relationship. He is just a big time player in our eyes because he jumped from one girl friend to another very quickly, sometimes he wont be with a girl for more than 6 months. He is not handsome, but a good talker and usually end up with pretty chicks although not for long.
But we are all cool when he talked us about his love adventures and all this secret stuffs that is shared between only guys. So I think he also took me in as a sister/close friend. And every night after our hang outs, he would drive my bf home then he would always drive me home because he just lives at the end of my street. (He moved near my house 2 years after I got here). And my boyfriend is completely fine with this because everybody thinks me and this guy can be the last to fall for each other cuz we are that close and we are completely different types.
And for me and about my boyfriend, we have been together for this long so he is like my father, brother and a friend. I m just me when I m with him and I feel so comfortable and relaxed around him. He doesn't also notice if I put makeup on or put new shoes on and was never romantic. All he does is be there for me every time I need him and have a laugh together. He never tries to control me, trust me to certain extent and let me do whatever I want. And we rarely have things to fight about so everybody in our group look up to our relationship. But on the dark side, I think my boyfriend is a little ignorant. He rarely remember our special days, he never make me feel good with a flower or gifts and even kiss me on my lips. We kissed the first couple of years we got together then we just stopped kissing and showing passion and affections. He thinks this is cheesy stuff. So our relationship rarely have ups and downs. It was really stable.Sometimes my boyfriend mocks at his best friend who is going only after the hot girls who wont last long and go off with another guy. This guy knows exactly how to make chicks fall for him with sweet talks and occucationaly make them feel good with surprise parties or gifts that will make girls feel good. I just saw all these stuff and thought it was ok but may be at the back of my head I might be wanting those stuffs from a guy. But I just thought this is not my life. I was fine until that one day.
So, I was planning to go back to my country for 3 weeks for summer holidays. And my bf's best friend is going back home for a while. So my bf suggested us to take a flight together so we can take care of each other as there are a lot of transits. On the plane, we talked for hours and got bored and fell asleep on each other's shoulders. I didn't feel anything till then. But one hour before the last plane lands on our country, he held my hand suddenly and said he wished the plane was delayed. And I dont know what happened to me but I held back his hands tightly. When I get home, I have that weird butterfly effect feelings he gave me and felt so guilty. So I didn't call him for 5 days although I got his number. But I called him anyways on 5th day and we talked like 1 hr. From that time the vibe gets bigger and bigger and we end up texting like 18 hours a day and finally admitted we are vibing each other after 2 weeks. He just told me that all he met was just girls who wanted to have sex with him or girls after his status and wealth and he also was the same. He rarely have feelings like this to a girl and it was so unusual of him to completely fall for somebody especially me because he never noticed my existence as a girl. I replied I understood and I was pretty confident I will never fall for him until he held my hand on the plane. So we just decided to see we will date during the remaining 5 days that I was in my country and see how things will work out. I kinda talk to him we will have to go back to our normal life once we are back home. He just said we will see and ask me to trust him. It makes him really uncomfortable when he talks sweet to me because I know how he talks to girls and what he is thinking inside when he is using a particular sweet word. He said he really regrets talking everything in front of me. I just told him to relax and enjoy the moment we have.
And thats what we did. We enjoyed every single moment in those 5 best days of my life. I feel like I was living in a fairy tale. He constantly texts me all day all night and we would talk on the ph until 4 or 5 am in the morning. And I made love with him on 2 of our dates. I just couldn't resist him. He was too good to be true for me. On our dates, he would never let my hand go for even a sec. When eating, he would eat with only fork and held my hand with the other hand. He constantly kissed me on my lips like every time our eyes meet and he kissed me passionately whenever we're alone like when we are in a park or in an elevator. he said he is so so in love and he can't live without me anymore. On our last date before I went back to US, he cried in front of me. He said he never cried for losing a girl in his life. I was his first. And that he want me for his own and marry me if I accept him.
I was just shocked and said that I need to go back to my boyfriend. He said that if I leave my bf of 8 years when I get back to US, he will also break up with his current gf and take me in. He told me the plan to break up with our bf/gfs and stay single for a while then start our story. He told me how he wants his future with me and stuff. It looked so real to me.And he said stuffs he shouldnt say like bad things about my bf. Like he never actually liked him or things like how he didn't like the way my bf is taking me for granted.
Well, I trusted him so I accepted that I will break up with my boyfriend and wait for him to come back to US.
And I did. I know I broke my clueless boyfriend's heart. And I surprised the whole friend circle around us. But I decided to stay strong. And I waited for my new guy. Days turned to week and week turned to months. At first we called and talked on the ph, showered each other with emails and text me every time he gets internet. Then he started to get cold. He communicated with me less and less. Sometimes he would disappear for like 3 days. I just told myself he is busy with business. And he started to get annoyed when I called him out of the blue. He didn't have much stuff to talk to me anymore. But on the other hand, my poor ex bf of 8yrs wants me back desperately. He calls me, texts me and talk to me everyday to make sure I m ok, if I m feeling fine or what I m doing which makes me miss our old normal days back together before the summer holiday.
On the other hand, I m starting to grow problem with my new bf. He started to say stuff like he doesn't really like my very down at heel personality and he wants to try to change me into type of girls that he usually fall for. He wants me to stay pretty and sexy which is not my type at all. At first, I decided to try whatever he is telling and wanted to make him happy. But then after some time, I came to realize he is trying to change me and he can't take me as who I am. He is treating me nice but also treating me differently. He might think he is making me a better person but it kinda make me pulled away from him because I m starting to think he didn't love me for who I am. And also the fact that he has never found me beautiful or attractive just like he did to other girls made me feel small. He just told me I made him excited when I am around him. But never i look pretty or beautiful or stuff like that. We have that strong chemistry between us according to my feelings.
So to make the long story short, my ex asked me to take him back after a month of breaking up. So I made up with him without thinking and I told my new guy I just went back to my bf. He said he always knew I would finally end up with my bf. And that he had so many dreams with me but he will crush them. Ever since, he hasn't shown me any signs of interest and made any communication with me. But he came liked a couple of my statuses on facebook though. I dont know how to understand him. Right now he is still in my country and I have no idea when he is coming back. Every single memory reminded me of him and I cannot think of anything else but him. I broke up with this guy because I thought it was the right thing to do. But now as he is ignoring me, I totally wondered where is the guy who was all over me while we were dating. I m pretending like I dont care right now but I miss him all the time and I can't help remembering how he kissed me and how he showed his passion with me.
I am sure he is trying to move on and he will never start the topic over again but I dont trust myself if I will be all over him again if ever I see him when we are alone. Because everybody trust us that we are just like brother and sister. I am wondering if there is a way to cure this heart ache. And I tempted like every single night to text him to beg him that I really cant live without him and ask him to take me back but knowing that he never went back to his exes in his history, I dont wanna get embarrassed again.
But if there are chances and signs that he wants me back, I would definitely beg him and leave everything and my boyfriend behind.
I m now living with regret. Please help me and advice me how to get out of this mess.
But we are all cool when he talked us about his love adventures and all this secret stuffs that is shared between only guys. So I think he also took me in as a sister/close friend. And every night after our hang outs, he would drive my bf home then he would always drive me home because he just lives at the end of my street. (He moved near my house 2 years after I got here). And my boyfriend is completely fine with this because everybody thinks me and this guy can be the last to fall for each other cuz we are that close and we are completely different types.
And for me and about my boyfriend, we have been together for this long so he is like my father, brother and a friend. I m just me when I m with him and I feel so comfortable and relaxed around him. He doesn't also notice if I put makeup on or put new shoes on and was never romantic. All he does is be there for me every time I need him and have a laugh together. He never tries to control me, trust me to certain extent and let me do whatever I want. And we rarely have things to fight about so everybody in our group look up to our relationship. But on the dark side, I think my boyfriend is a little ignorant. He rarely remember our special days, he never make me feel good with a flower or gifts and even kiss me on my lips. We kissed the first couple of years we got together then we just stopped kissing and showing passion and affections. He thinks this is cheesy stuff. So our relationship rarely have ups and downs. It was really stable.Sometimes my boyfriend mocks at his best friend who is going only after the hot girls who wont last long and go off with another guy. This guy knows exactly how to make chicks fall for him with sweet talks and occucationaly make them feel good with surprise parties or gifts that will make girls feel good. I just saw all these stuff and thought it was ok but may be at the back of my head I might be wanting those stuffs from a guy. But I just thought this is not my life. I was fine until that one day.
So, I was planning to go back to my country for 3 weeks for summer holidays. And my bf's best friend is going back home for a while. So my bf suggested us to take a flight together so we can take care of each other as there are a lot of transits. On the plane, we talked for hours and got bored and fell asleep on each other's shoulders. I didn't feel anything till then. But one hour before the last plane lands on our country, he held my hand suddenly and said he wished the plane was delayed. And I dont know what happened to me but I held back his hands tightly. When I get home, I have that weird butterfly effect feelings he gave me and felt so guilty. So I didn't call him for 5 days although I got his number. But I called him anyways on 5th day and we talked like 1 hr. From that time the vibe gets bigger and bigger and we end up texting like 18 hours a day and finally admitted we are vibing each other after 2 weeks. He just told me that all he met was just girls who wanted to have sex with him or girls after his status and wealth and he also was the same. He rarely have feelings like this to a girl and it was so unusual of him to completely fall for somebody especially me because he never noticed my existence as a girl. I replied I understood and I was pretty confident I will never fall for him until he held my hand on the plane. So we just decided to see we will date during the remaining 5 days that I was in my country and see how things will work out. I kinda talk to him we will have to go back to our normal life once we are back home. He just said we will see and ask me to trust him. It makes him really uncomfortable when he talks sweet to me because I know how he talks to girls and what he is thinking inside when he is using a particular sweet word. He said he really regrets talking everything in front of me. I just told him to relax and enjoy the moment we have.
And thats what we did. We enjoyed every single moment in those 5 best days of my life. I feel like I was living in a fairy tale. He constantly texts me all day all night and we would talk on the ph until 4 or 5 am in the morning. And I made love with him on 2 of our dates. I just couldn't resist him. He was too good to be true for me. On our dates, he would never let my hand go for even a sec. When eating, he would eat with only fork and held my hand with the other hand. He constantly kissed me on my lips like every time our eyes meet and he kissed me passionately whenever we're alone like when we are in a park or in an elevator. he said he is so so in love and he can't live without me anymore. On our last date before I went back to US, he cried in front of me. He said he never cried for losing a girl in his life. I was his first. And that he want me for his own and marry me if I accept him.
I was just shocked and said that I need to go back to my boyfriend. He said that if I leave my bf of 8 years when I get back to US, he will also break up with his current gf and take me in. He told me the plan to break up with our bf/gfs and stay single for a while then start our story. He told me how he wants his future with me and stuff. It looked so real to me.And he said stuffs he shouldnt say like bad things about my bf. Like he never actually liked him or things like how he didn't like the way my bf is taking me for granted.
Well, I trusted him so I accepted that I will break up with my boyfriend and wait for him to come back to US.
And I did. I know I broke my clueless boyfriend's heart. And I surprised the whole friend circle around us. But I decided to stay strong. And I waited for my new guy. Days turned to week and week turned to months. At first we called and talked on the ph, showered each other with emails and text me every time he gets internet. Then he started to get cold. He communicated with me less and less. Sometimes he would disappear for like 3 days. I just told myself he is busy with business. And he started to get annoyed when I called him out of the blue. He didn't have much stuff to talk to me anymore. But on the other hand, my poor ex bf of 8yrs wants me back desperately. He calls me, texts me and talk to me everyday to make sure I m ok, if I m feeling fine or what I m doing which makes me miss our old normal days back together before the summer holiday.
On the other hand, I m starting to grow problem with my new bf. He started to say stuff like he doesn't really like my very down at heel personality and he wants to try to change me into type of girls that he usually fall for. He wants me to stay pretty and sexy which is not my type at all. At first, I decided to try whatever he is telling and wanted to make him happy. But then after some time, I came to realize he is trying to change me and he can't take me as who I am. He is treating me nice but also treating me differently. He might think he is making me a better person but it kinda make me pulled away from him because I m starting to think he didn't love me for who I am. And also the fact that he has never found me beautiful or attractive just like he did to other girls made me feel small. He just told me I made him excited when I am around him. But never i look pretty or beautiful or stuff like that. We have that strong chemistry between us according to my feelings.
So to make the long story short, my ex asked me to take him back after a month of breaking up. So I made up with him without thinking and I told my new guy I just went back to my bf. He said he always knew I would finally end up with my bf. And that he had so many dreams with me but he will crush them. Ever since, he hasn't shown me any signs of interest and made any communication with me. But he came liked a couple of my statuses on facebook though. I dont know how to understand him. Right now he is still in my country and I have no idea when he is coming back. Every single memory reminded me of him and I cannot think of anything else but him. I broke up with this guy because I thought it was the right thing to do. But now as he is ignoring me, I totally wondered where is the guy who was all over me while we were dating. I m pretending like I dont care right now but I miss him all the time and I can't help remembering how he kissed me and how he showed his passion with me.
I am sure he is trying to move on and he will never start the topic over again but I dont trust myself if I will be all over him again if ever I see him when we are alone. Because everybody trust us that we are just like brother and sister. I am wondering if there is a way to cure this heart ache. And I tempted like every single night to text him to beg him that I really cant live without him and ask him to take me back but knowing that he never went back to his exes in his history, I dont wanna get embarrassed again.
But if there are chances and signs that he wants me back, I would definitely beg him and leave everything and my boyfriend behind.
I m now living with regret. Please help me and advice me how to get out of this mess.