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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

I am addicted to oxycodone and I feel helpless

I want to take the time to thank everyone who responded to my post. I know we all have our own lives to tend to. The fact that everyone took the time to respond is truly a beautiful thing. I am going to examine every single response, make an educated decision, and give it my best. I will respond with my progress. Thanks again
 
wow that really sucks. You should quite cold turkey! Get some DXM and itll help you threw it
 
Subs are your best bet can be hard to kick fir some but easier than dope. I kicked heroin with suboxne.
 
I would seriously NOT use subs in your case (I hate them, period, but that is another story)..., your habit is not even close to a terrible habit.., the biggest danger you have is of it getting there..., for years (like 12), I used oxy for pain and occasionally recreationally, everyone i knew that had a habit always said that i was truly the one person they thought could do opiates/ opioids recreationally and truly walk away...i let that get to my head and i'm going on two years of approx. 210-300 mgs of oxy/ day..., that would be 21-30 of the pills you're taking..., i didn't get truly addicted until i started snorting them, which in your case shouldn't be a risk b/c percocet is terrible to snort b/c of the acetaminophen.., if i ware you i'd quit cold turkey or cut the dosage in half for 5 days or so and then quit.., its good that you recognize the problem now b/c this is how things get started, if you don't quit now, two years from now, you could be looking back at this post, wishing you had a 7 pill a day habit, b/c you've moved onto bigger and better (depending on how you look at it) things, such as rs (oxycodon IR without tylenol), h, or dilaudid/opana (hydromorphone/ oxymorphone, respectively)...i know exactly how you feel being ashamed and embarrassed, my family is squeaky clean, and unless some of my relatives are better at hiding a habit than me (i seriously doubt it), i'm the only one with a drug problem, and it is completely humiliating.., i live in fear that my family will find out, b/c i have the kind of family that would def. not understand, but honestly, this can happen to anyone, and no one plans it... three years ago, i would have said no way in hell would i ever do heroin.., but after developing a bad pill habit (again, much worse than yours, so your withdrawals won't be so bad at this point), i was so afraid of the w/d that i have done h a lot..., its still not my drug of choice b/c it honestly still scares me .., but my point is, that no matter how much you think you'll never do something, once the addiction has gotten ahold of you, no one will be more surprised about the things you'll do to feel 'normal,' than you yourself will be.., if you're still feeling high from the drug, you're still at a place where its easier to walk away, simply b/c you don't need it to feel 'normal...,' physiologically, the average person can take up to 20 mgs of oxycodone per day without feeling any withdrawals if they quit cold turkey, luckily you are not TOO far about that right now, so your withdrawals should be pretty mild and not last very long.., but the longer you wait, the worse your habit will get and the withdrawals will become horrifying.., please quit asap, talking to your wife might be a good thing, as she can support you and help you not take a pill every time you feel the urge, its nothing to be ashamed of, as i said, it can happen to anyone, as no one plans to become an addict, everyone i know that does h started with pain pills b/c of an injury, and it doesn't sound like you are to the point of really sneaking behind her back, stealing/ spending savings and doing overall shameful things to feed your habit..., i have a phd and a great job and only started on this horrible path from truly recreational to horrifying habit about two years ago, the same month i was finishing up my phd.., i had a wonderful childhood, have a great education and every opportunity provided to me, so i know first-hand that addiction doesn't discriminate and society's view of addicts as losers is ridiculous, as VERY few people (if any) start out believe that they will be an addict..., i know this is a long, rant-y type answer, but i truly hope that you are able to stop while this addiction is in its early stages..., i would give almost anything to be able to rewind two years of my life and go slap myself silly for messing up my own life and not seeing what was right in front of me when i started snorting pills on a daily basis..., i know right now that prob. seems like something you would 'never do,' but trust me, rehabs are full of people with stable lives and jobs that started on prescribed pain pills and gradually before they knew it were buying h off the streets to feel 'normal,' and 'not sick,' so they could just function...,i've wasted a ton of money and time on drugs and worrying about finding drugs.., when you're an addict it is all consuming and it becomes your new normal.., it sounds to me like you have a wonderful life and family so please, please quit while its a little easier.., i wouldn't suggest subs or benzos or anything b/c those have the potential to just develop into different habits and that isn't your goal...best wishes!!
 
Well said xoxo! I've done cold turkey, Suboxone and Ibogaine to quit oxycodone (my DOC). Sub works well but make it short term because it is hell to get off of if used long term. Ibagaine is best but scary as hell. I am quitting now once again--a short tern habit. Been using gabapentin, imodium, and valerian root. It is working. Learned about this stuff here. This is the best site for the info you are looking for. Just cruise the threads. Good luck.
 
Take 6 pills Mon, 5 Tues, 4 Weds, 3 Thurs, Friday don't take shit grab some valium, xanax or clonazepam, for sleep and anxiety (don't take too much for too long you don't wanna get dependent on benzo's), Immodium for the diarrhea, clonidine for the twitchy legs, drink a ton of gatorade and water to flush the shit outta your system faster, try to eat & just bang it out your habit really isn't that substantial you shouldn't have too hard of a time

To reiterate, this is very good advice. I would, however, skip the immodium. It produces VERY nasty side-effects, and makes me absolutely miserable! I'll take dope wd's over that shit every damn time.
 
People have a terrible record when tapering off their drug of choice. Every situation is different. It looks like the family doesn't know and you want to keep it that way. Do you honestly think you can taper your OXY? Almost no one succeeds at that unless someone else is dispensing the drug. Are Subs possible? sure, with your habit 1 8mg strip would do it. You would be able to taper easier than taper from Oxy, you wouldn't be layed up in pain. You could probably do a quick 5-6 taper on Subs and no one would be the wiser. Subs are a nightmare once you use them for a period of time. You wouldn't get hooked on Subs in 5-6 days, it takes longer than that and the amount you would need would be small to start as well. You could probably start with 1.5mg and taper from that, taper for 5-6 days, keep about 2-3 pcs of .125 and if you feel terrible you take that every other day for a few more days and then stop. It's all mental at that point and thats where most bomb out anyway. I have never heard of a Sub nightmare after 5-7 days of use. Most go to doctor and get on plan (lifetime) and then regret it and then it's to late. They start at obscene amounts to start with and stay on obscene daily amounts. At that point their screwed. Most stories start with "been on Subs for X number of years" well you can stop there, their screwed. Trick with Subs-start low-quick taper. Then mind over matter
 
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I use a sliver(~1-2 mg) off a 8mg strip ~24 hours or WDs start coming runny nose, aches..after my last opiate and take suboxone/naloxone sublingual for 2-4 days making smaller slivers each time and after that be fine.
Stop taking Suboxone and ANY kind of opiate or you'll relapse just from mental aspect, boredom etc, physically it will be gone(extra subs laying around help form the mental).
Just need will power after that.. it takes serious strength not to touch opiates anymore.
 
I want to take the time to thank everyone who responded to my post. I know we all have our own lives to tend to. The fact that everyone took the time to respond is truly a beautiful thing. I am going to examine every single response, make an educated decision, and give it my best. I will respond with my progress. Thanks again

So, have You made up Your mind as to which road to take? I can also say that at that low of a dosage, there is no need to prolong Your addiction with methadone/suboxone.
Have You ever been VERY sick when you were younger? Like a fever of 102-103, vomiting, extremely sore throat, whole body aches - the whole nine yards, so to say.
Well, that is what You would be feeling like if You just right now went to the toilet and flushed ALL your pills down the toilet and take the withdrawals like a man. I promise its not even going to be as worse as being very sick when your younger.
Its more like having a terrible flu for 3-5 days. I am more than certain that You could take it.
Since You mention You have family etc. I assume You're a little older than the average Bluelight user. Since You're older, You have more life experience and that is good as when your withdrawing from your oxys in your bed with cold sweats and a runny nose, you can think of many-many worse scenarios that could happen.
I can guarantee You that You would go through 80mg oxy w/d standing on your head, if one of your children gets very sick and the docs say that it might be fatal and the only thing saving them would be for you to go sober. You would do it in a heartbeat, right? I mean its not even something to consider. I'll say it again, it's just a very bad flu for 3-5 days and then you will be physically alright, the depression may be there for longer but at least you are free of any withdrawals and those damn pain pills.

Just my 0.02$, i wish You well.
 
What I am not understanding is how people say to medicate your discomfort, when indeed you can get addicted to those...

I'd say ride it out and slow down...

Or simply reduce your daily dosage.

Stop using your pain meds to get a buzz.
 
I took pain pills for more years than I want to admit to take care of nerve pain. The meds were prescribed and I didn't abuse them but I made a decision to try and wean off of them. At first I wrote on a forum asking how to use the ten subs I had but decided not to use them. I made that decision because I was afraid it would be another addiction in my life. I'm married with two sons and have my own business but I know that my mind was not working as it should. I took a week off (fortunately I could do that.) Two weeks prior I started to wean myself and the last day was when I decided this is it. The first day was ok but after that I really was sick and went tru all the symtoms that people describe. I read this forum and gained a lot of information. Used Imodian and just let it all happen. I did it and can't believe I lived thru it. I do find myself sneezing constantly and coughing and wish that would stop. It's not so horrible to be drug free it's almost a high within itself. I do feel the nerve pain but living with it. So if anyone can do the taper and quit it's not easy but time goes so fast before you know it...it will be over and you will be back to "normal" (whatever that is.)
 
I want to add this to my post. If you can eat make sure to have protein, vegies and fruit..all good food. It helps. If you can get it down I also ate salads and lots of water.
 
It's not so horrible to be drug free it's almost a high within itself.)

You're kind of dead on there! I'm in that boat right now, but not by choice mind you but I do get a lot more done when I'm off the pain meds. One of my biggest problems is that I get very emotional when I'm straight and it bothers me but there it is. I suppose a shrink would have a field day with me, huh? Oh well, my two cents to the OP is to take a weekend and just quit. Tough it out and all will be well in no time. Unfortunately, your mind will be your best and worst friend, so be careful and don't the gremlin on your shoulder talk you into just doing one more and then one more... You'll be OK, hang in there!
 
Hi all. I am checking in with you all. I started this thread so long ago. I recently(as in 3 days ago) decided that I did not want this lifestyle any more!!!! I was tired of the 3 hour office visits, my being concerned as to what time to take my next dose to stave off withdrawl, my being chained to a schedule, my being looked at with an awkward eye every month at the pharmacy, lying to my wife and kids. So I said SCREW IT!!!
I called my doctors office and told them I will never be coming in again. I followed the Thomas recipe precisely. I am on day 3 and am surprised how easy it has all been. I am exiting the depths of hell, passing through the gates back to my real life, NEVER TO RETURN!!! "The only thing to fear is fear itself." This is the best way I can describe my situation. One thing which has helped immensely in addition to the Thomas method has been canibus.
 
Congrats man, & yes, weed does help a lot of people thru opiate withdrawal.

I hope you don't have any physical pain in the future where you need opiates.......good luck man!
 
I just wanted to post and say I feel like I'm in a very similar place to you, although I think I'm a fair bit worse off. My habit turned into hydromorphone (dilaudid) after a year or so on oxy 15s. I ended my habit yesterday at about 100mg of hydromorphone daily. Started with some sever back pain about 5-6 years ago and took the opiate train from simple vicodin all the way to the real dark side with dialudid. Like you I've decided it's time for a change, I just can't do/feel like this anymore. My biggest problem has been insomnia. I just never sleep and feel like crap all day due to it.

So last night I poured the rest of my dilaudid script down the toilet and this morning I started on Methadone. Part of me doesn't like going from 6 little white pills a day to 4 little white pills a day but hopefully these little pills can keep withdrawl at bay so I can feel go enough to be at work during my recovery. I do want to taper the methadone a quickly as I can as the real goal is to get off all daily opiate/pain medication.

The hardest part for me will probably be making myself eat and drink - I already don't eat a ton and when I feel like crap it's really easy for me to skip meals for 2-5 days at a time, which clearly makes me feel like crap due to no energy in me.

Best of luck to the OP - please continue to update us on your progress. Know that we are all rooting for you, or at least I am!!! It seems that talking about it with folks like the ones here is a very very good thing.
 
first id like to say, ur not in over ur head, STOP NOW, just taper urself, take 6 then 5 so forth, if ur going to continue using them, you should cwe them first imo.

but stop now you can easily stop use ur willpower
 
god i don't care if its a tiny dose or a high dose, opiates for me were the most psychologically disgusting drugs for me to overcome, it took several overdoses, near death experiences and a tremendous amount of willpower along with a trip to rehab to curb my habit to opiates and i've only been clean from them for about two months. i don't know if i'll ever relapse on them but if someone offered me an oxycontin i would fall down that hole incredibly quickly again. regardless of a 50mg habit or a 2 gram habit like in my case the PAWS literally nearly destroyed my mind every time i would try and quit the stuff. i don't know why oxycodone is such a powerfully addictive substance and frankly i'm lead to believe it acts a little differently on receptors than we are led to believe hence why it produces so much euphoria in comparison to every other opiate out there - and i've tried pretty much most of them including the very exotic ones such as dipipanone - it couldn't even scratch the surface of oxycodone for me in particular.

in my experience the way to stop oxycodone for good is by using a different opiate all together and tapering using that under guided supervision with 0 access to any opiates along the way. i don't recommend suboxone. for me it just lead to me getting addicted to that stuff instead. in fact i used methadone over the space of three weeks - although it was relatively uncomfortable the withdrawal wasn't actually as terrible as i imagined, and if you like the taste of oxycontin then methadone won't be as appealing to you which is why i found it to be a very effective replacement to detox with. however i was in a rehabilitation centre and was desperate to get off of opiates. i went from taking 200ml of methadone a day (day one) to 0 in 3 weeks. the dose had to be so disgustingly high due to my tolerance. they said most people would start on a taper from anywhere beginning from 10-80mg, but those doses didn't even touch with w/d's i was suffering. i went into the rehab centre in the worst withdrawal imaginable, i nearly damn shit myself waiting for them to dose me.

dihydrocodeine is a godsend for oxycodone tapering but i don't think its available in the US unfortunately. i have used that in the past successfully to get myself off oxy. however from what i'm reading it seems like you're day three or so off the oxy so congratulations, its a massive step, but seriously its very easy to fall back into the spiral with that shit. survive and endure the withdrawals. you can make it. every time you think of the damn drug remember the terrible times, forget the euphoria, it's mindless and we all know it never stays.

all the best and good luck. i hope you get off this horrible drug. it will be hard, but anyone can do it, if i can - i'm 100% sure you can.
 
If you went the Sub route with what you are taking I would go, 2mg 1.5.mg 1mg .5mg .5mg and stop. That would get you past the DOC withdrawals and by using only 5.5mg of Sub over 5 days you won't have any addiction issues with Sub. Remember the cravings will not disappear no matter what way you go, the mental part will be your biggest challenge so get psyched up now. With the taper above you would take your last pill on a Saturday night about 9pm. Then when you get up on Sunday wait till you feel shitty, probably around 11 am but everyone is different. Take 1mg of Sub and wait an hour, if your good to go don't take the other 1mg. (if 1mg then only take 1mg the next not the 1.5mg) then taper over the week, you will be done on Thursday. Subs have a long half life so Friday should be good, that gets you to weekend and then relax and only take OTC meds if needed, stay busy. At worst you may need to take Monday off, then it is all mental and your withdrawals would have been much easier than going cold turkey. Using this method you will be able to go about daily routine with little discomfort if any. On Thursday throw out any leftover Subs you have.
 
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