I Am A 2 Month METH ADDICT. Please Help!

brian10981

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2011
Messages
6
Hi. I have been using Meth for the last 2 months just about every day. I probably go through a half a gram a week. I have about a half gram left and I deleted my contact so now I have no way of getting it anymore, thank god!

Sad part about this is, I have a beautiful home, beautiful wife, make over $100,000 a year. Into lifting, eating healthy, taking my vitamins, so i have been totally contradicting myself for the last 2 months. Pathetic huh?!

Plus, I have been become obsessed with jerking off to porn along side from making sure i'm high before fucking my wife.

All in all, my biggest excuse for my meth use was the energy and alertness I get for working. I have a high demanding job and love the alertness and focus i get as I have really bad ADD.

To wrap things up, I have deleted my contact so I will not able to use again, so that's a great thing. My question to you guys is, after reading all the negative long term effect stories, i am horrified.

How long will it take me to get through withdrawel? Will I have some permentent damage where I won't functino the same ever again based on my previous use?

Appreciae your feed back! Thanks. I am disgusted with myself:(
 
honestly, i don't think you will have much trouble at all. you might feel a bit exhausted for a week or so after you cease to take more meth, but you haven't been on it too long so it shouldn't be that horrid. i know it is wrong to replace one drug with another, but maybe you could take a low dose of a benzo to help with anxiety for a week, and i can reassure you that your body hasn't been through to much and will most likely recover back to normal..

for you, the psychological aspect of using will be the hardest to overcome. it will feel like there is a gap in your life that needs to be filled. fill it with healthy alternatives like exercise, quality time with your wife, ect..

as for the porn, i get really horny when i take any sort of upper/amphetamine....you are not alone man!

keep your head high, and push with all your will to stay sober as it will take some will power to come over this "habit" as i don't see you as being an addict, just a habitual user.

good luck man; if you truly want to stay sober you will.
 
Brian you have nothing to be disgusted about, %99 of people here have been where you are when you wake up one day and say to yourself what the fuck am I doing?!. So don't sweat that, just be glad of the fact you did have that self-intervention after only 2 months, instead of like 2 years. Meth is very psychologically addicting and you're going to need some support if you want to do this the right way and not go back to it. Trust me, as a poly-drug abuser all through my teen years and countless trips to rehab, I can honestly tell you that you can only stop when you are ready to, and if you try to go at it by yourself, chances are you're going to relapse and be right back where you were, those are statistical facts. With that being said, it's not gonna be the easiest thing to drop but you've done yourself a favor by still having some supply left when you decided to quit. You can use that in one of two ways, you can use it as an excellent psychological tool by purposefully destroying it, or you could continue to take it until you run out. The latter case never seems to work out very well though. If you're serious (and I'm sure you are), then it wouldn't hurt to find a support group, I mean Bluelight is always at your fingertips but sometimes it helps to talk to someone for real. Also have you thought about maybe going to see a doctor about your ADD, has it been diagnosed? If it has been diagnosed then a doctor shouldn't mind prescribing you some proper medication to manage it, although it wouldn't be advisable to tell them about the whole Meth thing..just saying. I wish you the best of luck though, you made the right choice because when you feel like you're losing control most of the time it's already too late, there's no shame in getting a handle on things. As for the WD part, well, that's the price you pay to play the game. But it does get better.
 
Hey welcome to BL :) Don't stress too much about permanent damage just do what you can each day to take care of yourself. I'm not sure I've met anybody that has done so much damage through drug use that they are unable to live a decent life afterward.

Stimulants are harsh but as mentioned above the withdrawal is pretty much low energy,depression, that sort of thing. No sickness or anything like that, at least in my experience. Give yourself some time to rest and give your body a break :) You're doing the best thing you can do for yourself by getting off the meth.
 
Thanks for the positive feedback! Believe it or not, I have complete polar opposites going on. For example, I am extremely healthy, eat 4 healthy meals a day, brown rice, broccoli, fruits, lots of protien, shakes, tons of supplements, on HRT (test and growth hormone). I do yoga twice a week, work out 3 times a week at the gym. So overall, I am not negative and down and out. But the reality is, I've been using meth for 2 months consistently, which is so bizzare as it's an extreme polar opposite to my healthy lifestyle which obviosly cancels that out with meth use.

Are there any studies of the effects of withdrawal from a 2-6 month meth user? All I can find on the next are stories and case studies from people who used it for 5 years, 10 years, etc. Wonder what it takes to create permenant damage with this drug at the minimum.

As for my ADD. I do have prescription aderall. Guess you could say I found something better! Will kiss that good bye...
 
Well addiction isn't particularly rational :) I can't think of any particular studies but I wouldn't worry too much about that. How you feel is how you feel it doesn't really matter what a study tells you that you should feel like. I've been using meth for the past few months (not daily) so I can only speak from my own experience.

Do you use your Adderall as prescribed or do you use it recreationally?
 
Sad part about this is, I have a beautiful home, beautiful wife, make over $100,000 a year. Into lifting, eating healthy, taking my vitamins, so i have been totally contradicting myself for the last 2 months. Pathetic huh?!

I am disgusted with myself:(
Hi brian, good for you that you've recognised that meth use is not the path you should be going down. First things first, the thoughts/feelings of shame and self-disgust, while they are pretty normal and understandable for someone in your situation, they are not going to help you to steer clear of drugs. If anything, negative thought patterns are going to increase the likelihood that you go back to using meth! So please try to focus on the positives, the fact that you've taken the initiative to delete your dealer's number out of your phone and that you want to change. For most addicts it takes YEARS to get to the point you are at after only two months, so you should be really proud of yourself for making this decision to stop using meth now <3

brian10981 said:
How long will it take me to get through withdrawel? Will I have some permentent damage where I won't functino the same ever again based on my previous use?
It's difficult to say how your withdrawals will be for you, it's different for everyone. Hopefully since you've only been using for 2 months you won't suffer too badly but you'll only have to wait and see, and take each hour/day as it comes. It would be good to have a plan in place for if/when you get bad withdrawals and/or cravings. The more you plan ahead and the more prepared you are, the better chance you will have of not using meth again.
Also it is very very unlikely that you've done any permanent damage, especially since you are a healthy active person to begin with.

Good luck man, and please keep us updated with how you're going :)
 
Thanks! Appreciate the positive feedback!

I use adderal as prescribed but would like to get off that to as it's hurting my gains in the gym.
 
If your adderall doses are high it may be more of a "gentle" transition to get rid of the meth and then tackle the adderall once your body has adjusted. But do whatever feels right for you :) It's very helpful to have zero obligations for a while if that is possible so that you can sleep and let your body recover from the overstimulation.
 
2 months lol. You're not talking about heroin here, a 2 month meth addiction won't even bring on much of a withdrawal at all. I just abruptly stopped taking dextroamphetamine after 2 years of daily use and I'm fine. I'm taking opioids though so they're probably masking a lot of the w/d symptoms. Theres nothing sad or pathetic about taking psychoactive substances. Having a nice life doesn't mean shit if you have a neurochemical imbalance. <We don't appreciate comments like that in The Dark Side, please be a bit more sensitive in the future, thank you - n3o> You're taking life way too seriously. We're only alive for 70 or so years so enjoy it. Give it a week or so and you'll be back to normal. Take milk thistle to speed up your livers recovery from any damage caused by street meth impurities. Keep taking multivitamins and if you feel drowsy at all order some l-dopa which will replenish your dopamine supplies. I also recommend phenylalanine supplements for replenishing neurotransmitter supplies. Green tea works wonders when it comes to counteracting amphetamine side effects which is not surprising since it contains many antioxidants some of which probably cross the BBB. Melotonin is a powerful antioxidant that crosses the BBB. It will help your brain and liver repair any amphetamine induced neuron damage. Also if you still need the alertness and energy after quitting I highly recommend provigil. And finally I recommend you calm down. Stress causes more harm than amphetamines. You'll make a full recovery in no time so there really is no excuse for you to be worrying.
 
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Thanks Ampakine! I feel great after reading your reply:) Karma to you! My situation is a huge laugh compared to some of the other stories I read on here, so good points you made.

funny you say melatonin. I use the injectable peptide. Good stuff. Supplements are already covered. Shit, now I wonder if I should of kept my contact, haha. Oh well, have no clue how to get anymore.
 
i remember when i would delete contacts. i would be searching old phone bills online for the most called/texted numbers a few hours later.
 
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