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I’m lost

Truelove33

Truelove33

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2022
Messages
57
Location
Midwest, USA
Long time reader first time poster. Friday I found my boyfriend dead on his bedroom floor. He was physically fit and only an occasional coke user until 3 weeks ago.. he took his first hit of crystal and was hooked. I am the only one who knows he used. I need a safe place to talk it out without being judged as a crackhead. How does a person OD from smoking meth? Lost and heartbroken
 
First welcome to Blue Light.It's awful what is happen,really.May be your boyfriend had some heart condition or was toke something else besides meth.May be in meth there was fent.Who knows?Have not so big experience with meth...so other persons could be more helpful....and here nobody would judge you like crackhead,cause most of us are lost just like you.That is life....predominantly pain.Other people will answered soon.Hold on!
 
Hello and welcome, although I wish it were under better circumstances. I am so sad for your loss. Wishing you lots of courage and serenity during this really difficult time. You definitely won't get judged here, as Nas said the majority of us are just like you. It's really hard to say why your boyfriend died from smoking meth, I imagine you just want answers so you can have closure. Was there an autopsy done?
 
No judgment here.. I tried it twice with him and it was euphoric. I just don’t have an addictive energy and knew you can never chase that high.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Did you sell it to him? If no, then there's no reason to be concerned about the cops, so try not to worry about that.
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I hadn’t seen meth since 1994 until 3 weeks ago. Everything scares me right now. The cops assigned me a “trauma coach” (finding the body is different then regular grief they say. I feel like I’m on suicide watch) she is actually helping me work thru what is a trauma response and what is actually grief. I haven’t slept alone in my house in many years. Joint custody of my kids, week on week off, my guy was always here when they weren’t. Struggling to sleep tonight
 
Truelove33 said:
I hadn’t seen meth since 1994 until 3 weeks ago. Everything scares me right now. The cops assigned me a “trauma coach” (finding the body is different then regular grief they say. I feel like I’m on suicide watch) she is actually helping me work thru what is a trauma response and what is actually grief. I haven’t slept alone in my house in many years. Joint custody of my kids, week on week off, my guy was always here when they weren’t. Struggling to sleep tonight
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Oh shit, yes I completely understand why you're feeling scared. Have you got anyone you can call to chat with?
 
n3ophy7e said:
Did you sell it to him? If no, then there's no reason to be concerned about the cops, so try not to worry about that.
Click to expand...
Spoke to the lead detective today.. search warrant was granted to open his phone. He kept me out of those deals. Union ironworker for 22 years… pretty sure the majority are felons
 
Truelove33 said:
For the record I’m venting only. No need for worries. I have 3 babies that depend on me. Nothing can shake my mommin
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That's really good honey. Please feel free to vent as much as you need to. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I hope you can get some rest.
How old are your babies?
 
Truelove33 said:
ironworker for 22 years… pretty sure the majority are felons
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yeah this may be true but all the old hands are fading out now and the greenhorns seem to lack the balls to do the work. i think the ratio of con vs non-con was probably 25 % to 75. but hey, whos counting but me, right?
sorry ya have to go through this. i know ironworkers play hard as fuck and also know a few that have passed through ODs. not many, though. we are fairly boastful and open with conversation so i really think that he hid nothing from you. i suspect contaminated meth (fent) but am curious to know what comes back from tox. please keep us posted?
welcome and hoping all this works out for the best.
<3
 
6am-64-14m said:
yeah this may be true but all the old hands are fading out now and the greenhorns seem to lack the balls to do the work. i think the ratio of con vs non-con was probably 25 % to 75. but hey, whos counting but me, right?
sorry ya have to go through this. i know ironworkers play hard as fuck and also know a few that have passed through ODs. not many, though. we are fairly boastful and open with conversation so i really think that he hid nothing from you. i suspect contaminated meth (fent) but am curious to know what comes back from tox. please keep us posted?
welcome and hoping all this works out for the best.
<3
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Thank you! Spoken like a true brother. He boomed out for half his career leaving his mark on locals coast to coast. Only the last 5 years did he commit with his own local. Took a few metal pins and lower back fusion to keep him home.

I appreciate everyone’s response and prospective.
 
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