Long story, short…
I had a horrible surgery, was bed ridden for 8 months ish….
The pain was unbearable, never felt anything like it. I was already on Oxycodone for chronic pain maintenance for a decade now but it was a very low dose. 5 to 15 mg a day total and was not every day. After the surgery, they ultimately upped me to 100mg a day.
At this post I became addicted or at least dependent. Then I got hit really hard emotionally in my life and my wife of 25 years and had 3 kids with, left me.. this was over a year and a half ago, we are still married but separated. I have been absolutely devastated, there has been no abuse or adultery that I’m aware of.
she basically completely tanked our finances and credit and walked away, she won’t even talk to me and I have zero understanding of what is going on or why.
I realize it makes no sense and sounds like I’m bullshittimg you but I’m not.
I cousins handle it and I started to self medicate and abuse the oxy, including, eventually when I no longer got a high, I started buying online from someone. I honestly at that point, didn’t care what happened to me. If I got a tent pill and died, oh well, I wanted to die anyways.
I have since realized how foolish I was being and have started to turn my attitude around. I have tried to get off of it entirely, started out cold turkey and thought I was going to die


I can now go a few weeks without it and being really sick but I posted about tapering but have no done it yet.
I’m kinda scared to, I don’t know how I’ll deal with things if I’m off of it.
Here is the real question…
I think the fake stuff is slightly stronger than the real pills I get from the dr. I can’t be for sure….I m paying for “clean” pills but clearly they are not from big pharma so I am paying a lot, $2,200 for 100. I hope I’m allowed I say that…if not I can edit and remove it, I apologize if I’m doing the wrong thing here.
It’s expensive, obviously, I was offered the I don’t give a fuck what’s in it pills for cheap but these are supposed to be clean…is this legit? Anyone else experience this? Now I don’t want to die but I can’t just stop. I REALLY want to work on it.
Any idea what’s in something like this? Am I just being a dumbass?
I’m supposed to get a drug test from my dr soon to stay on the scripts, they want to make sure I’m not doing the very thing I’m doing
.
Is there such a thing as “clean counterfeit pills” or am I just a moron who is going to die at any day from fentanyl? I know a lot of you are very knowledgeable and can help me, thank you so much.
I’m sorry it’s so long.
I had a horrible surgery, was bed ridden for 8 months ish….
The pain was unbearable, never felt anything like it. I was already on Oxycodone for chronic pain maintenance for a decade now but it was a very low dose. 5 to 15 mg a day total and was not every day. After the surgery, they ultimately upped me to 100mg a day.
At this post I became addicted or at least dependent. Then I got hit really hard emotionally in my life and my wife of 25 years and had 3 kids with, left me.. this was over a year and a half ago, we are still married but separated. I have been absolutely devastated, there has been no abuse or adultery that I’m aware of.
she basically completely tanked our finances and credit and walked away, she won’t even talk to me and I have zero understanding of what is going on or why.
I realize it makes no sense and sounds like I’m bullshittimg you but I’m not.
I cousins handle it and I started to self medicate and abuse the oxy, including, eventually when I no longer got a high, I started buying online from someone. I honestly at that point, didn’t care what happened to me. If I got a tent pill and died, oh well, I wanted to die anyways.
I have since realized how foolish I was being and have started to turn my attitude around. I have tried to get off of it entirely, started out cold turkey and thought I was going to die



I can now go a few weeks without it and being really sick but I posted about tapering but have no done it yet.
I’m kinda scared to, I don’t know how I’ll deal with things if I’m off of it.
Here is the real question…
I think the fake stuff is slightly stronger than the real pills I get from the dr. I can’t be for sure….I m paying for “clean” pills but clearly they are not from big pharma so I am paying a lot, $2,200 for 100. I hope I’m allowed I say that…if not I can edit and remove it, I apologize if I’m doing the wrong thing here.
It’s expensive, obviously, I was offered the I don’t give a fuck what’s in it pills for cheap but these are supposed to be clean…is this legit? Anyone else experience this? Now I don’t want to die but I can’t just stop. I REALLY want to work on it.
Any idea what’s in something like this? Am I just being a dumbass?
I’m supposed to get a drug test from my dr soon to stay on the scripts, they want to make sure I’m not doing the very thing I’m doing

Is there such a thing as “clean counterfeit pills” or am I just a moron who is going to die at any day from fentanyl? I know a lot of you are very knowledgeable and can help me, thank you so much.
I’m sorry it’s so long.