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Cocaine Hyperactivity/Hardcore drugs have changed me forever.

nznity

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
7,882
OK, so long story short. I'm a 25 y/o middle class male from Lima Perú. I started smoking weed at 15, I cherish those days when nothing could be bad or go wrong. At 17 I started hanging out with a much older crowd (20-23 y/o) and they introduced me to erythroxylum coca and it's most prevalent alkaloid aka Cocaína. From 17 to 19 I tried most of the common abused drugs (LSD, Ecstasy, MDMA powder, oxycodone, hash, Ketamine, Pharma grade fentanyl,All types of benzos u can imagine, Alprazolam, Clonazepam, Bromazepam, Diazepam, MIDAZOLAM in vials for parentheral administration, Mescaline in San Pedro cactus and my favourite of all MORPHINE pharma grade vials 20mg/ML or heaven I'd say. Anyway so throughout the years I've experimented with all these drugs and more. I've done cocaine in all of its forms, Insufflated, Smoked(crack) and for a couple of years IV Coke.Although my consumption has been on and off, for some time my favorite combo was Speedballing until I landed In rehab at the age of 21, since then I've been locked up 4 times and if I count how much time I hsve been in rehab it's like 2 years. Since I finished my last rehab I've been doing drugs on and off and less and less as time goes by☺❤. But something is wrong I feel like I've done something to my brain because I'm always in a hurry or a rush, like for example I eat my meals really fast or tend to run on the streets to get somewhere I'm going faster idk even though I'm not in a hurry or late. I'm not experiencing Parkinsonianos symptoms or stuff like that. I thing it has to do with the instant grstification drugs give me, when I shoot up morphine it takes exactly 7 seconds to feel that warm fuzzy rush. So, I try to do everything fast, when I read, crossing the street, going somewhere, u name it I try to do it as fast as possible. So I wanted ur opinion guys, does this condition have a name to begin with? Does anyone in here has experienced the same, I feel some sorta Hyperactivity constantly. So ideas? comments? I'd appreciate your input , Thanks very much NZN
 
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I know exactly what you're talking about but don't know if there's a name for it.

I've used/ abused drugs most of my life and, just like you said, I think that there must be a positive correlation between the nearly instant gratification and doing things in a rush when there's no need to rush.

Another issue that I have is that I usually get unreasonably irritated when others slow me down (tellers taking hours to give/ accept money, people walking at normal speed on the pavement, taking too long/ chatting about nonsense when ordering, wife being fast but not efficient, ...) because they do activities on a normal speed. I usually stop myself from commenting on them being snail like but this aggravates me more then I sweat because of this anger:).

I know these issues are rooting from my character and my long term substance abuse which doesn't bother me much, actually if I don't interact with others doing whatever, I tend to get it done quickly which I'm happy with.
 
Man, I fell the same thing.

Something is always missing, it is hard to get back to life, very hard, it can take years or the whole life (y puede ser en vano muchacho)

I do not want to believe but I am starting believing it may be forever like that, it is the paid price. But until you are totally sober, at least one year i would say, it is difficult to affirm which are the causes of these unpleasant feelings.

Lo más importante es: solo tienes 25, com 35 años será peor, es hora de parar!
 
KS78 said:
I know exactly what you're talking about but don't know if there's a name for it.

I've used/ abused drugs most of my life and, just like you said, I think that there must be a positive correlation between the nearly instant gratification and doing things in a rush when there's no need to rush.

Another issue that I have is that I usually get unreasonably irritated when others slow me down (tellers taking hours to give/ accept money, people walking at normal speed on the pavement, taking too long/ chatting about nonsense when ordering, wife being fast but not efficient, ...) because they do activities on a normal speed. I usually stop myself from commenting on them being snail like but this aggravates me more then I sweat because of this anger:).

I know these issues are rooting from my character and my long term substance abuse which doesn't bother me much, actually if I don't interact with others doing whatever, I tend to get it done quickly which I'm happy with.
Click to expand...
Exactly man, all those examples u gave also irritate me. And same, when I'm alone I prefer to do stuff faster than a normal person would lolz.
 
You are not weird, it's the rest that have problems, wasting time they won't get back.
Plus being oblivious to their surroundings and uncaring of others.
I swear I have a hard time keeping calm when a group of people walks side by side and takes the whole sidewalk or mall corridor or other restricted public areas.
 
Well, I would argue again that as it is others that waste time for no reason other than laziness, they are the ones with a problem.
 
@nuttynutskin yeah man, they had me tested last year and indeed I have Asd ADhd But this is beyond that. I didn't use to be like this until I started doing hardcore drugs, especially cocaine and morphine. And even worse when i got into the needle. It's not that ppl bother me when they are doing their mundane random stuff. It doesn't bother me, It's not that something bothers me really. It's just that I want everything done quickly, for example:eating, when I get something assigned to to, I wanna do it as fast as I can even if I got plenty of time to do it. ya get me now? xooooo
@Phobos well I never said I felt weird nor other ppl was. Just say in like other guy said there's acorrlation with the needle or better said (fastest routes of administration) and this behavior.
 
Hola bro! I dont think your problem is a brain disorder brought on by heavy drug, because I am not a heavy drug user and have the same thing! Its a problem brought on by drug use and the instant gratification, but also other forms of instant gratification we indulge in. Try not looking at any digital screens for a whole day, this will slow you down. Try drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning. Meditate. Read something out in nature. Soak in the sun. All you need to slow down a bit (and thus enjoy everything a little bit more) is to see the need for it. Yes, its better to be slow and wise, than fast, agitated, and messy.

Also do u smoke cigs? Yeah, that shit will agitate the hell out of even the most still budhist monk. What about coffee?

My idea is there are some benefits to this hyperactivty, like I generally hit the gym like a beast in just 45 min, but on the other hand I cant serve myself a glass of juice without spilling ever cause yeah Im so fucking hyper!!!! Lol

The good thing is its very easy to discover stillness and hop on the peace wagon, and its very enjoyable
 
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So you guys arguing that it is a good thing to take more time to something when you could take less time and still do it?
That nznity should work at being less efficient and stop burning all those calories?
I'm not hating you guys but I can't say I can even begin to wonder why you would argue that slower is better.

Aw and if you still splashing that juice:
J6OiupWodQhNo6adCTj4pFMSpQ35oTrbHWKiAy2YATY.jpg
 
LordFran said:
Hola bro! I dont think your problem is a brain disorder brought on by heavy drug, because I am not a heavy drug user and have the same thing! Its a problem brought on by drug use and the instant gratification, but also other forms of instant gratification we indulge in. Try not looking at any digital screens for a whole day, this will slow you down. Try drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning. Meditate. Read something out in nature. Soak in the sun. All you need to slow down a bit (and thus enjoy everything a little bit more) is to see the need for it. Yes, its better to be slow and wise, than fast, agitated, and messy.

Also do u smoke cigs? Yeah, that shit will agitate the hell out of even the most still budhist monk. What about coffee?

My idea is there are some benefits to this hyperactivty, like I generally hit the gym like a beast in just 45 min, but on the other hand I cant serve myself a glass of juice without spilling ever cause yeah Im so fucking hyper!!!! Lol

The good thing is its very easy to discover stillness and hop on the peace wagon, and its very enjoyable
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nice input, yeah man i know it's not like a disease or a disorder per se. I do smoke cigs, hate coffee. It's just that the most thing that annoys me the most i'm always one footstep ahead from regular ppl on anything. It has it's pros and cons but i believe i have to just get accustumed to it. Cheers, NZN
 
Phobos said:
So you guys arguing that it is a good thing to take more time to something when you could take less time and still do it?
That nznity should work at being less efficient and stop burning all those calories?
I'm not hating you guys but I can't say I can even begin to wonder why you would argue that slower is better.

Aw and if you still splashing that juice:
J6OiupWodQhNo6adCTj4pFMSpQ35oTrbHWKiAy2YATY.jpg
Click to expand...
I see your point, i agree and disagree with you. For example eating too fast is not good for your digestion, plus it looks weird eating like a pig so fast.
Other thing i do is walk too fast, sometimes i get kinda anxious because i have to be at people's pace. In the end i think this is not so good for me because i live in a constant mentalfuck,anxious,think too much and this can lead to a heart attack or a stroke idk. Just my opinion. NZN
 
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I agree on the eating, you need to chew your food down.
You shouldn't be anxious because people are not mindful of others, unable organise themselves in the available space, lazy and physically unfit, you should be angry they are in your way.
There is no amount of thinking that is too much, the more the better. The only thing is that it has to be useful thinking and should not get in the way of actually doing things.
Anxiety is not connected with physical activity and efficiency, there are plenty examples of people that are anxious and are slow or don't want to do shit.
It is more likely that you are anxious because you realise you are surrounded by slow, inefficient, self absorbed sheeple.
 
Wow, I have found that one of the Most important thing I can do for my Serenity is:
Mind my own business, & Live and Let Live!!
 
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