It starts.
I was looking up some fetish porn and felt really depressed afterwards, like I'd passed some point of no return into a hell of sick perversion and self-hatred, and at only twenty years of age. I got a kitchen knife, intending to wound myself with it as a temporary escape. I decided that it would hurt too much, so I came up with another idea to escape my neurotic state: getting high.
I resorted to one of the lowest of highs, inhalant abuse. I started off with Room Freshener. It contained hydrocarbon and had the standard warning on the can. I got a plastic bag and filled it up, inhaled, exhaled and repeated. After about six bags-full, the rim of the bag got all this gooey shit on it that I didn't want in my mouth and I was only feeling a slight heaviness in my head.
I got a rag and placed it over my mouth, then sprayed the can directly inside. I did this about 10 times. I didn't really feel anything except a bit of relaxation and disappointment that I wasn't blitzed out of my skull (that being my main objective). I scavenged a cabinet for something like gasoline or computer duster, but to no avail. I went into the bathroom and had a look at a deodorant can. It contained a variety of substances: butane, isobutane, propane, alcohol and a few others. I decided this was what I wanted. I fetched a clean rag, performed the procedure about 8 times and felt a dissociative kind of buzz. As I was inhaling through the rag each time, the thought "MORE!" began building up in my head to a climax, at which point I had one more huff and decided that would do. I was fairly relaxed but still disappointed that I wasn't blacking out or seeing insane stuff. I lay down and closed my eyes, somewhat relaxed, which I considered better than nothing. After about ten minutes I hit the porn again. I think the deodorant made me fairly horny; noticeably hornier than usual. This was after writing the second paragraph of this trip report. I am no longer perceptibly high.
I have tried using inhalants before but not in this fashion. Nitrous oxide is of course a winner, turpentine is a total loser (I accidentally tripped on that when I left a turps-soaked rag in my bin and slept nearby, waking up with a pounding headache and severe nausea); air freshener is no good because it leaves a frothy residue, and deodorant is an okay means of escape but nothing mind-blowing. Feel free to flame me about how dumb it is to abuse inhalants... I think the fetish porn was the root cause of tonight's high jinks. Also feel free to share information about inhalant abuse, e.g. experiences. Thanks for reading; you know you rule when you read what I write.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
- LC
I was looking up some fetish porn and felt really depressed afterwards, like I'd passed some point of no return into a hell of sick perversion and self-hatred, and at only twenty years of age. I got a kitchen knife, intending to wound myself with it as a temporary escape. I decided that it would hurt too much, so I came up with another idea to escape my neurotic state: getting high.
I resorted to one of the lowest of highs, inhalant abuse. I started off with Room Freshener. It contained hydrocarbon and had the standard warning on the can. I got a plastic bag and filled it up, inhaled, exhaled and repeated. After about six bags-full, the rim of the bag got all this gooey shit on it that I didn't want in my mouth and I was only feeling a slight heaviness in my head.
I got a rag and placed it over my mouth, then sprayed the can directly inside. I did this about 10 times. I didn't really feel anything except a bit of relaxation and disappointment that I wasn't blitzed out of my skull (that being my main objective). I scavenged a cabinet for something like gasoline or computer duster, but to no avail. I went into the bathroom and had a look at a deodorant can. It contained a variety of substances: butane, isobutane, propane, alcohol and a few others. I decided this was what I wanted. I fetched a clean rag, performed the procedure about 8 times and felt a dissociative kind of buzz. As I was inhaling through the rag each time, the thought "MORE!" began building up in my head to a climax, at which point I had one more huff and decided that would do. I was fairly relaxed but still disappointed that I wasn't blacking out or seeing insane stuff. I lay down and closed my eyes, somewhat relaxed, which I considered better than nothing. After about ten minutes I hit the porn again. I think the deodorant made me fairly horny; noticeably hornier than usual. This was after writing the second paragraph of this trip report. I am no longer perceptibly high.
I have tried using inhalants before but not in this fashion. Nitrous oxide is of course a winner, turpentine is a total loser (I accidentally tripped on that when I left a turps-soaked rag in my bin and slept nearby, waking up with a pounding headache and severe nausea); air freshener is no good because it leaves a frothy residue, and deodorant is an okay means of escape but nothing mind-blowing. Feel free to flame me about how dumb it is to abuse inhalants... I think the fetish porn was the root cause of tonight's high jinks. Also feel free to share information about inhalant abuse, e.g. experiences. Thanks for reading; you know you rule when you read what I write.
- LC
