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How would you cope?

Fyasko.

Fyasko.

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2011
Messages
626
Location
The land of gods & monsters
Hello blue lighters,
I need some help.

I met this boy, 20 years old, great guy but a not so great history.
When I met him he was a "sugar baby" and had been seeing men twice his age aka "sugar daddy's"
What scares me the most is he had a "daddy" while he was in his last relationship.

I always ask him about it and he says he cheated because he didn't love the man he was dating at the time.
It's just scary.
I don't have much money and this is my first relationship but he promises me he loves me and would never do that to me, that I'm the only boy he ever thinks about and I've gotten him out of the habit of being a sugar baby.
But it's still scary for me. Someone with a past like his.

Am I overreacting?
Should I trust him? He was still talking to Daddy when our relationship started but stopped after the first month (we are at 6 months currently)
It's just scary, maybe cause its my first (and last as he says ) relationship.
 
I'm not gay so it's difficult to relate maybe. But I would be very concerned and I'm not sure if I could date a partner like that.. The cheating would kill it for me. Also, the whole sugar daddy stuff would worry me equally. It would tarnish the relationship.
 
hmm i would give him the chance to change but at the same time i would trust my gut instinct.

there is no difference between a sugar baby and a gold digger

i would keep my eyes open

but unless you have any specific current behaviour that is concerning you i would put it on the back burner for now
 
It's good to know his history but you should give him a chance. He's only 20. People can change, too. Besides, as a good looking 20 year old, he could probably have a pretty good life and make a bit of money as sugar baby. But he probably didn't want to lead that life forever.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
HMMMM...

Talk to him about everything you just shared with us.
Click to expand...

I have. And he's told me now that he's found someone he actually loves and has a job he has no desire to take part in the such.
I think a lot of it is just trust, but it's extremely hard to do that. I tell him it's like I need to proceed with caution.

Thanks for all the input everyone ❤��������
 
i dnt think being gay has any difference. people are people and when it comes down to it actions speak louder than words. i have that same problem with a girl now

with that being said everyone has done some dumb shit in their life and shouldnt have it held over their head. if i were you i wouldnt trust him further than i cud throw him.
 
until he gives you reasons to mistrust him; without being naive and or vulnerable and still protecting your best interests; you have presented no real reason to mistrust him other than a fear of his past and experiences.

until he shows signs of questioning that; i dont believe its fair to hold him accountable for that in his relationship with you exclusively.

...kytnism...:|
 
I'd like to be nicer about this...

But "Sugar baby" is probably a bit mucked up. Talk to the boy, he probably has lot of issues...
 
kytnism said:
until he gives you reasons to mistrust him; without being naive and or vulnerable and still protecting your best interests; you have presented no real reason to mistrust him other than a fear of his past and experiences.

until he shows signs of questioning that; i dont believe its fair to hold him accountable for that in his relationship with you exclusively.

...kytnism...:|
Click to expand...

Ah but the first week we were official, I was drunk and went through his emails, he was still emailing his sugar daddy and when I called him out on it he stopped. He still talks to his ex as well, but he claims they are still friends and I have no reason to believe otherwise.

Oh I forgot to add, he gave me HPV.
Apparently he didn't know about it until I started showing symptoms.
He says he feels guilty about it and the such,
I have to have surgery on the 11th to get the "bumps" removed.
You know this just seems more and more toxic the more I realize what I'm putting up with.

Sorry about the ranting guys :/ ill try and contribute more to this forum.
All the input really means a lot :( <3
 
You can give him a chance, but being that this is your first relationship and you are experiencing new things it might be best if it were with someone with less risks. I mean why the excess worry if there is nothing that he can do to make you not worried? Be friends, see if he really has changed, and if so see how things are in the future. If you are worth it to him then it will be proven.
 
Fyasko. said:
Oh I forgot to add, he gave me HPV.
Apparently he didn't know about it until I started showing symptoms.
He says he feels guilty about it and the such,
I have to have surgery on the 11th to get the "bumps" removed.
You know this just seems more and more toxic the more I realize what I'm putting up with.
Click to expand...

The more I read about the situation, the more strongly I feel that you need to follow the advice that I gave above. Have a happier first experience.
 
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