How to WANT to be sober?

[Jabberwocky]

That's great news Awakening, it sounds like you're finding some balance for yourself with all the mood altering "goodies."

I knew a lot of people in AA and NA who smoked pot very regularly, and were also very involved in their fellowships. It seemed to work really well for them. The support a couple people I knew recieved from their fellowships definitely helped save their lives, even though they continued using pot. It's not like these folks ever advertised it in meetings or while socializing, for obvious reason, and they kept is very responsible and mature.

I believe the actual 12-Step philosophy isn't as simple as you hear it from the bleeding deacons, folks who can be very vocal about what they think AA or NA is all about. I believe the foundational values and principles of 12-step support groups can be (and often are) much more malleable than that. Many principles and lessons can be applied to someone who isn't totally "abstinence."

For instance, how does one define abstinence anyways? You here it very simply put as not drinking or using other drugs. That certainly is a form of abstinence. That is a very important understanding of it, especially in early recovery when our ability to make good, healthy, responsible choices usually isn't at its best - especially when it comes to using mind altering substances, and that goes quadrupedally for one's DOC(s). But, as long as one has become accustomed to making healthy decisions and responsible choices in their lives more generally, I believe one could have a history of being abstinent from, say, heroin, even while they are using cannabis responsibly, and still get a lot out of NA and make real progress in their own, very personal journeys in recovery.

I mean, some people go as far as arguing that taking any medication whatsoever isn't appropriate (the Pacific Group) for anyone in AA/NA to be taking. I couldn't disagree with this more! I really couldn't disagree more, especially because the influence some of such groups have is really detrimental to the amount of resources that out there that make recovery more possible for any and all of us. That kind of philosophy is the extreme, a kind of totalitarianism in my opinion. There's a lot of room to be who you really are, to do whatever works and to become more your authentic self. Sobriety isn't simply not using drugs after all. Certainly it isn't not taking any medication!

Sorry, went a little far afield there. And just to mention, if you eventually find smoking pot is keeping you from further personal, professional, relational development, then you can give it up. Doing everything you can to make sure you use responsibly and safely will help allow you to give it up if necessary. And if it's not, it'll help you get the most possible enjoyment out of it.

 

[manboychef]

first off +1 for toothpastedog's post.

I would like to expand a bit on what toothpastedog said. I am right there with him on the totalitarianism of some recovery related groups. Personally, for my mental condition to be near normal I need medications! If I went off my medications I would surely relapse because the need to be balanced is paramount in recovery, and I would end up self medicating with my DOC to achieve that balance.

Check this out Awakening: While you are putting your life together and getting back to where you want to be, you don't have to use. Once you get stable, you can maybe smoke a little pot or have a drink here and there. It is actually part of my recovery, however I say "I have too much living to do to get high today, maybe tomorrow." then tomorrow comes and I say "You know I really enjoyed yesterday and I got a lot accomplished. I think I am not going to get high today either." That has lead me to a year and a month sober. Basically what I am saying is build your foundation and get yourself together before you consider smoking pot. I look at that as medicine and not a drug. It isn't for me due to anxiety issues, however I would try a pure CBD strain due to the anxiety diminishing effects, and the fact it doesn't get you high. If you like it and it helps you relax, then by all means once your ducks are in a row, partake. However, if you find your patterns of use becoming problematic then work on not doing it. There are most definitely many people out there that just smoke a little pot to unwind sometimes that are very successful in their field, and the one thing they have in common is they are able to separate business and pleasure.

Just stay away from the xanax. I am on a taper from 8mg now..I am down to 6.5mg and I am really feeling it. This is in no way fun and is actually quite terrifying when I have that little amount of time between .5mg doses that I experience intense anxiety.

 

[closeau]

Im with toothpastedog. I am an active member of AA and im on prescribed opiates, benzos, and Ritalin. Plus bipolar meds. So rigid abstinance is not so important. As long as i take my medicine as prescribed its fine and i have smoked weed in the program. Around here we call it the MMP. The marijuana matienence program. I know people who smoke and it doesnt bother me and to be honest if i didnt have to pee test at my pain clinic i would prob smoke it. I believe in weeds healing properties and support its use. The key is you dont take a substance to alter your mind. Obviously weed does that but i dont count weed. To me its an herbal supplement. Its just a lifeplan, thats all the 12 steps are. Honesty is the most important thing in AA/NA. If you work the steps honestly, youll have a spiritual awakening. Obviously it doesnt work ifbyoure dishonest and getting fucked up and not calling people and just going thru the motions. I just think if you go to AA you shouldnt drink and if NA, you dont abuse narcotics. If i were you id just go to a meeting or two for a few weeks and see if its something you can do. Gotta give it a fair chance. I dont think weed is an issue but if Xanax and alcohol are problems for you, abstinance is preffered. Maybe you might like meetings and decide to stay. Maybe not. But onviously you desire help if uour on here. Go to AA.org and get to the big book and read the begining of chapter 5,How it Works. That says it all. Good luck

 

[What was it?]

Hello everyone, I am 22 y.o. and struggling with my sobriety and it is having a major impact on my life and family. My DOCs were xanax, alcohol, and pot. I keep relapsing with the xanax and each time it is pretty bad... Awful drug. I do not have a physical dependence at this point (thank god) but I need to never touch those damn bars again. (I've said this before)

Anyway I am always able to string together months of sobriety but never make a real solid commitment. I see a therapist, had a brief stint with AA, but I clearly have reservations when it comes to my sobriety. I feel pretty good when I'm 100% sober but i often feel like I need "at least pot."

Still living with mom/dad really complicates everything. They took away my car which really set me off since I 100% bought it and pay all the bills/insurance. I understand taking my keys if I am clearly under the influence, but I havent used drugs in days, and its MY CAR. I also somewhat have my life on hold as I withdrew from school when I was just 3 semesters away from a degree. Although I will be continuing elsewhere come January.

Anyway I am just looking for some type of advice. I relapsed around thanksgiving with the xanax and I am smoking pot still. My therapist is really urging involvement in AA and of course total sobriety, pot and all. I haven't been drinking alcohol which had been a huge issue with me about a yr ago. I just don't know what to do or think. Any responses are appreciated. Thanks.

It is really important not to beat yourself up. You are not a bad person at all. Also, you've sustained months of sobriety in the past. That's fantastic! These are all just cycles of growth and evolvement. Accept all your feelings and just observe them. You don't need to label them as good or bad. Just look at your feelings, feel them and watch them fade away. Same with cravings. (sidenote: XANAX is NASTY! I totally agree. They make me manic like no other benzo besides triazolam)