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How to truly not care what others think?

A

awkwardchild

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 5, 2011
Messages
85
Any advice for not giving a fuck about what people think? Im trying to beat anxiety in social situations
 
good question:) i was asking myself the same thing around last november. (im a sophmore in highschool) but first and foremost, your in highschool, it does not matter what these people think. no ones gonna care what you wore or how you acted or what you did in 5 years. in regaurds to anxiety, just find some friends that your comfortable around. ones that you know wont judge you.

i gotta be honest and say that IMO its all up to you.
you try to impress people.
you care what "they" think about you
you give a fuck.

you need to realize that it doesnt matter what they think. i know it sounds too simple to be true but its really all up to you. have you considered going to therapy?

its deffinitley a battle to DGAF but its sooo worth it. you just need the right mindset.

hope this helps,
best of luck:)
 
it is an absolutely constant process. i learned as a child to believe that i was somehow less than everyone else and even though this goes against everything i believe, it still creeps into my interactions daily. i seek to remind myself that a) everyone, myself included, has value simply by virtue of being alive and b) most people share, on at least some level, a lot of the same insecurities. we are taught culturally that the only way to validate our own experiences is by way of outside approval. shedding this notion is difficult. i recommend not watching television as a starting point. ;)
 
There are two common routes.

<snip> PA and ocean- Please do not give advice that is encouraging others to do things that will cause harm.
 
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Hmm well i only give a fuck about what certain people think namely loved ones and people i actually call real friends.
 
My honest answer to this is to just grow up. And no I don't mean that in an insulting way like its something you can do in 5mins. I mean as you grow and mature, and get older, you will care less and less and less what other people think of you.
When I was 21 all I thought about was what other people were thinking about me, how I looked, how I acted, how my voice sounded, the clothes I wore, I was self conscious about everything I possibly could be.
Now at 28 I honestly do not give one remote fuck about any of that shit. I can't tell you where all the paranoia/anxiety went, but with age it just kind of vanished.

So just growing up and getting older will help SO MUCH on its own. Thats why you need to be patient sometimes and realize certain things are natural at certain stages of your life. Not sure how old you are but I'm definitely assuming you are young. Not just cause you have the word "child" in your handle but because of what you posted. I can say with about 95% confidence you are either a teenager or young adolescent. Its really just natural to be like that. Although panic attacks are not natural and is what use to happen to me. It still tends to go away as you mature for most people though. Good luck!
 
i reallly think this just comes with age.

im almost 25 years old now...i used to care quite a bit about what people thought of me. but now, i really am starting to not give a fuck at all. i have anxiety and panic attacks still, its something i suffer with, but its not nearly as bad as it used to be. when i was 15-18 years old, i constantly thought about other peoples' opinions of me. trust me, the older you get, the less you care.
 
I'd echo the 'only giving a fuck about certain people' and the 'it gets easier as you get older' remarks completely. I'd add that anxiety disorders are the result of our primitive brain having been trained through generations to preserve ourselves from harm and that we've consequently become irrationally fearful of harm itself. Nobody dies unblemished. Accept suffering as a rule and you'll stop caring what others think. And you'll have a better time, too.

:)
 
ill sand-which all the other comments with a reiteration of mgmt&mdma's comment(its the flour yeast and water)
and say:
its strange how cliche it is to accept and love yourself; things will fall into place as needed over-time if truly done in your own way.
 
I use to worry about what people thought but all that went away when I realized they are not putting food on my table or paying my bills. Only people I care about & what they think is my girlfriend. I care what my parents think of me a little bit but not as much as I should I guess but its my life & no one else is living it & seeing what im seeing, meaning difficulties & what not.

Sure I know people out in the community feel I didnt end up like everyone thought I would, a doctor, lawyer or some big shot but who the f**k cares.

What you should do is enjoy life w/o hurting anyone. Treat everyone the way you wanna be treated. I know lots of people that have millions but I know one thing, they wont be taking that money with them when they die & they dont seem to enjoy life because they are always working.

We're only here for a while, enjoy it & no matter what others think of you, they are not living in your shoes & they havent been what you've been threw to get to the point you're at now, so dont sweat it, dont even lose sleep over what the clowns have to say, just be honest to yourself & you should be okay.
 
TheLostBoys said:
just be honest to yourself & you should be okay.
Click to expand...

... Okay ...
~;-D

Edit:
i do believe this is one of the most important questions a person can ask themselves -
the circumstances(major understatement) that this can bring are some of the worst human-dramas and traits which are the greater essence of fear and anxiety, persuasiveness and violence and on.
 
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The only person whose thoughts or feelings you should care about is your own. If someone doesn't like you, you don't need them as a friend. There are plenty of people out there similar to us in one way or another.

Don't over-think things, try to focus on exercising and eating well in order to naturally reduce anxiety.

If horrible things have happened to you, please seek out therapy, it is the best way to work through issues which you don't feel like you can work out yourself.
 
panic in paradise said:
... Okay ...
~;-D

Edit:
i do believe this is one of the most important questions a person can ask themselves -
the circumstances(major understatement) that this can bring are some of the worst human-dramas and traits which are the greater essence of fear and anxiety, persuasiveness and violence and on.
Click to expand...

Since my first part was edited it, basically this is exactly what I was trying to convey. But my articulation was a bit...off.
 
TearItDownsays;-)
Since my first part was edited it, basically this is exactly what I was trying to convey. But my articulation was a bit...off.
Click to expand...
happens to me and the best of everyone,,, nothing else right to do except whats left and - carry on with it a little bit wiser, and a little bit more humble - maybe a little bit better spoken or articulate then before.


i can learn a lot more from people who do not like me then dont, honestly in many ways.


your nemesis can be your greatest teacher - it seems to be true also that 1/4 people for w/e reason wont exactly agree with you all the time, the same as you probably wont 1/4 people you do meet also ...

give anything to someone - take something from anyone - allow everyone to gain
 
Love yourself for who you are and the care about others opinion of you will fade off.
If you truly love yourself and are confident in the person you are, it won't matter what other people think b/c you are solid in who you are <3
 
thanks for the advice.

ya im 16 years old, junior in highschool. nothing terribly bad has happened to me or anything, ive just always been rather shy and insecure. though i think it has improved over the last few years.

something that has not improved though is my public speaking skills. and i have to give a current event speech tommorrow! it will probably only last 1 minute but i still get really nervous. i tend to screw up big time and its quite embarrassing
 
awkwardchild:

something that has not improved though is my public speaking skills. and i have to give a current event speech tommorrow!
Click to expand...

the times ive had to do this sort of thing, i only had to realize that everyone watching was going to be doing the same - dont be nervous, feel excited - they arent that different of "sensations" at all.

watch the other people doing the same, im sure you will see they are nervous also, notice how you probably arent really judging them, or their speech and writing - most will be doing the same, and if they arent --- then you have an upper hand on them already.

and by you not seeming to care about being nervous, you will instill confidence into others who are still worried...
 
panic in paradise said:
the times ive had to do this sort of thing, i only had to realize that everyone watching was going to be doing the same - dont be nervous, feel excited - they arent that different of "sensations" at all.
Click to expand...

^this is whats helped me the most. whenever i have to present an essay or something i get those butterflies and my heart races, im scared to present but i get it through my head that that the majority of my classmates are feeling the same emotions and i go ahead and say what i have to say.

before i know it, ive finished my presentation and it leaves me with a sense of satisfaction. the more and more you do it, the easier/more rewarding it gets;)
 
as the majority of introverted ppl learn about life as they mature. giving a fuck goes by the wayside. it takes a while to learn about one's self and accept one's social, intellectual, emotional and physical make up.

school kids are constantly comparing themselves to exterior things. once we know our strengths and weaknesses, it becomes apparent that it is a waste of time making comparisons .
 
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