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How to tell my ex that im beeing with her best friend now?

A

alonbon

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 23, 2013
Messages
3
Hi Bluelight
i had a girlfrieend for 4 years and we broke up recently and got back together then broke up again and now we are seperated but still talks
me and her girlfriend have been together for 2 months now behind her back and we decided to be a couple but we dont know how to tell her that
we are sick of keeping it secret cuz we cant go on public without scaring that some 1 will see us and run tell her so my current gf gave her some clues that she is onto me and my ex got really pissed and she trying to come back to me sendind me love msg and saying we can work our problems out but i dont want to and she doesnt seem to get it and i think that becoz she suspecct her best gf she getting sticked to me more then ever

we need an advice on how to let her know that we are together without hurting her too much if its even possible

Thanks
 
Just be open and honest with your ex. Who really cares that you're with her friend, they obviously aren't that close if she's willing to be with you behind her back.

And it's too late to avoid hurting her.
 
Don't beat around the bush about it, you need to tell her what's up. It's sort of cruel for you to have the new girl (and her bestie, nonetheless) drop hints. Of course she's going to figure it out. I would think after 4 years you owe her that much.
 
alonbon said:
do u have a way i can do that?
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There is no easy way to say this. Since she is telling you that she wants to get back together with you and sending love messages, she probably won't take this well. But it needs to be said. You could start with, "I have to tell you that I'm seeing someone else" or something along those lines. Make it clear that you are not planning to get back together with her so she doesn't cling to any false notion that you might change your mind.
 
Is there a way that you can keep your distance from her for now and let her get over you? I don't think it's a good idea if you reveal it at this stage where she still has feelings for you and expecting that you are going to get back together. Her feelings will over power her and it will hurt her more for sure.
 
zombywoof said:
I hope im wrong but anyone who cheats on their best friend doesn't bode well for being faithful in the future good luck with that one
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This could be true since the friend herself has dropped hints to her, making her suspicious already. Might say a bit about her character.
Like Maya said it's going to hurt her worse and she may feel double-betrayed even though they're broken up. No easy answer here :(
 
First, you need to OFFICIALLY break off things with her. After 4 years and now "working it out"--it's completely fucked up to start doing her best friend behind her back. You think you would owe her a little bit more courtesy. Don't even mention the best friend for at least another month.
 
i have been in a similar situation. i was the ex, and my bf left me for my best friend.It was a TERRIBLE CRUSHING EXPERIENCE.Maybe your ex realizes that now, she really needs/wants you in her life and is trying to hold on to you.But if you really think it is not going to work out with her, TELL HER that its over.But like ^previous poster PrettyDiamonds mentioned..dont let her know about the best friend for a long time.But since she suspects it anyways its going to fucking still hurt her like hell.This is truly sad.Just break up with her and cut off all contact and lay low with the bff.I know it would probably be much appreciated.
 
zombywoof said:
It goes something like this................Do you remember that best friend you had
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Haha.
Sometimes I laugh a bit when someone comes in here looking for a easy solution to a difficult problem.
Here's watcha do and it'll be painless. Guaranteed!
I don't mean to be an asshole, necessarily. But you, OP, have decided to put yourself in a spot that's gonna be somewhat painful to deal with.
Be honest and straightforward with your ex. Tell her who you're with and that there's really no chance you're gonna be interested in getting back with her.
Be gentle but blunt. It doesn't seem easier that way and it's not at first. She'll probably get pretty pissed.
But you at least let her know where she stands and then there can be no confusion. You guys can come out of hiding and your ex can begin to move on.
Daunting? For sure. But that's the nature of this kind of stuff.
 
Yeah this "best friend" is in a much more difficult situation than you are. Your ex is going to feel betrayed - lost her best friend and her boyfriend.
 
Just tell her now and stop playing games. It will hurt her immensely, and if she's clever she will eliminate you both from her life.

Don't stress too much about her though - soon enough she'll realise that she's better off without you two, and hopefully she'll move on to bigger and better things.
 
Ur funny, but it is a complicated thing. The best friend and i r in love and we allready started our lifes but i cant seem to tell her, and after 4 years its hard to cut her from my life. And it hert my current girlfriend. I dont know what to do, please help me
 
I would if i could. They say time is a great healer but she has lost her boyfriend and her best friend. I know they say you cant help who you fall in love with.sorry about all these cliches but its the only advice i have.Is there any way you and your new girlfriend can distance yourself from your ex as seeing you two together everyday wont make it any easier. Hope it does work out for all concerned though.
 
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Just tell her face to face or call her up, and break up with her, or since those women are best friends they are going to talk and your ex probably already knows but you should tell her unless your GF her best friend has not already.
 
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