I was given Adderall several months ago because my ADHD made it impossible to function. I stopped taking it after experimenting with dosage and timing for a few months, because:
1. Tweaking. Even on low doses, I’d be clicking my tongue and moving my jaw. I looked crazy.
2. Irritability. Every little thing became this agitating rage fuel. It did its job to keep me on task, but as soon as I had nothing to do but sit, I wanted to punch things.
3. Rage. Blind rage. After a few hours of irritability, it would eventually get to me and I’d be throwing tools across the shop, slamming shit around, you name it. The comedown made me so detached and angry.
4. Appetite. Could not eat for shit.
5. Headspace. In general I fear everyone hates me, but on Adderall my voice of reason completely vanished and I became convinced that every move I made was harshly judged; that I was a constant burden on everyone. Made much worse by my fits of rage.
5. Sleep. Taking a dose any later than noon kept me up until 2am on average.
But meth has none of these effects. I don’t get high from it, either. No tweaky ticks, no paranoia, no irritability at all, not even on the comedown.
I can eat, sleep, and relax without a constant “pep-talk” inner monologue.
But telling a doctor “hey doc I prefer full blown meth” seems like something they wouldn’t indulge. Something they’d sooner see as a huge red flag and never give me stimulants again — and I don’t want that to live in my medical records forever.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Experiences?
1. Tweaking. Even on low doses, I’d be clicking my tongue and moving my jaw. I looked crazy.
2. Irritability. Every little thing became this agitating rage fuel. It did its job to keep me on task, but as soon as I had nothing to do but sit, I wanted to punch things.
3. Rage. Blind rage. After a few hours of irritability, it would eventually get to me and I’d be throwing tools across the shop, slamming shit around, you name it. The comedown made me so detached and angry.
4. Appetite. Could not eat for shit.
5. Headspace. In general I fear everyone hates me, but on Adderall my voice of reason completely vanished and I became convinced that every move I made was harshly judged; that I was a constant burden on everyone. Made much worse by my fits of rage.
5. Sleep. Taking a dose any later than noon kept me up until 2am on average.
But meth has none of these effects. I don’t get high from it, either. No tweaky ticks, no paranoia, no irritability at all, not even on the comedown.
I can eat, sleep, and relax without a constant “pep-talk” inner monologue.
But telling a doctor “hey doc I prefer full blown meth” seems like something they wouldn’t indulge. Something they’d sooner see as a huge red flag and never give me stimulants again — and I don’t want that to live in my medical records forever.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Experiences?