How to poof the balloon of negative emotion and not hurt yourself or anyone else

[mindtools]

I'm currently buzzing with negative emotion.
I had argue with my father about the stupidest thing, I'm also after right after acute WD from opiates, so many things are wrong.
I'm doing all I can to hold the emotions as I'm writing, but I WILL pop if nothing happens.
I'm gonna eat my last lorazepam and cut myself (not to make any serious wounds, just to see the calming blood).


What do you do in such situations?

 

[escapingwonderland]

I just stopped opiates a few weeks ago and it seemed like on the last week anything bad that could happen did happen. I even told a few friends if one more bad thing happened I was going to snap. Luckily I made it through. Alot of deep breathing and tears helped in reducing my tension.

Good luck.

 

[spork]

When you're feeling like that, by all means continue writing. Write everything and anything that comes to mind. It doesn't have to be public, or on a computer, and you don't have to save what you've written if you don't want to. Just write. Another thing you might want to look into is mindfulness meditation. Just being in the present and being aware of all your feelings but not judging them helps a lot along with deep breaths. Mindfulness can take a lot of practice, but it's done wonders for me in regards to self harm. There's a good thread about mindfulness here. If you have any questions or need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

 

[mindtools]

Thanks EW and spork;
I was in mood for doing something stupid (sounds strange, but I believe most of you know that feeling).

I took every med in house that could act psychoactively (not too much of any, also checked interactions, so it was reasonable stupidity), including hated by me as a soul thief carbamazepine (thankfully I didn't feel to much of it today).
Cut myself something like tattoo on tight. Something meaning like I'll never be loved by anyone (except for my sister), gave myself written "3- " for my life (it's the lowest passing grade on uni in Poland, something like "fuck it, let him pass") and question "why". Not really deep, but it was reflecting my feelings then.

The "3-" can be changed to 3+ (scale is from 2 to 6, the last being the best) when I'll get better, "why" can become the symbol of my curiosity, whatever. It's not hardcore wound, wouldn't be probably visible after 2 years.

Today I broke my abstinence (not too long, just 2 weeks) and made myself opium tea. I hope it was just one time; I just couldn't take the pressure, the atmosphere my parents surround me, the sad future that lies in next, say 2 years (when the upcoming events are over I hope I'll get myself together then).

spork, after the WD ended I begun writing journal (I believe that's the word). It does help.
In regard to meditation, I always really wanted to be in that state, but I never archived anything. Good thing is that people say the harder for you is to start meditation, the better results it has ; )
Also, I hope that the PM offer is not just courtesy, because I may be in need of talking to someone like you

Thank you for your time!