How to party/socialise without drugs

[Mehm]

Young people tend to go through a partying faze and that is fine. However, most grow out of it. Normal people have one or two drinks then go home and sleep a full night.

This sounds like a long road for you Jess and I wish you the best. A MAJOR sign of addiction is an inability to have fun without drugs. I had to go through it for 13 years before I finally got sober. Some of my friend on the other hand got sober in their teens. Others not until they were in their 60s. If you feel like you can't stop using and that if you do your life sucks, I would highly recommend a young persons AA, NA or CA meeting. That is where you will meet people who love to party but are sober.

 

[ArtVandalay]

Maybe it's because I don't like alcohol, but I've found it surprisingly easy to hang with my girl and her friends when they party. Just went to a b-day pub crawl. I socialized, played pool, darts, danced, etc. Plus I knew at the end of the night my girl would be horny as hell (and I'm useless in the sack drunk), so I just chill and say I'm dd when people offer drinks.

 

[herbavore]

What drugs do for you to make things easier, in any social situation, is to break down your inhibitions. Knowing that, your task is to break them down without drugs. We don't need an excuse to do anything--whether it is becoming completely uninhibited about our bodies, unselfconscious about dancing or silly or playful or even deeply emotional with everyone around us. Drugs give us permission. We don't need permission.

Finding people that allow you to be yourself is key. When you find people that allow you to let down your inhibitions and push the boundaries of your behavior safely, life gets a lot easier. The amazing thing is that by being the kind of person that allows others to completely be themselves, you create that space for yourself.

One of the best things to do is to ask yourself specifically what it was that a particular drug gave you? Then work on integrating that aspect by taking little baby steps towards it in social situations. For instance, if you loved the way stims or alcohol allowed you to talk freely at a party, then you might concentrate on talking to one or two people only at first. If you want to get loud and boisterous, do it! What's the worst that can happen? Someone will think you are drunk?

What I like most about being sober at parties is the fact that I am in control of my moods and behaviors--if I want to get crazy, I can. If I don't want to a 1/2 hour later, I can switch gears. You don't have that fluidity when you are high--the drug is in control.

 

[jess046]

I don't think it's really that I feel inhibited. I mean I don't really have social anxiety. I guess I get shy around people I don't know very well or people I don't find that interesting, but I can get over having to do the small talk with people without the extra spark drugs give you. I guess it's more of a general boredom/tired issue. I just don't feel like being out there and I don't feel like having a party anymore. I just start to get dizzy and tired and want to go home :/

I feel like one of those boring people I used to make fun of. I mean these are some great friends- they're awesome people and I feel like I'm been rude. But the thing is I can't help it. I'm just never in 'the mood' anymore- at least not for long. I just don't feel like making the effort anymore.

I hope this week it gets easier. Since coming off stimulants I finally feel normal again, as in not dizzy all day long with brain tremors and headaches...so here's hoping.

What do you guys think about reintroducing stimulants as an occasional thing for special events? When is it reasonably 'safe' do you think? Maybe that needs it's own thread, I'll let the moderators decide. I'd like to be able to use again (although I feel way too anxious about using anything atm) but responsibly for those really special times. I never see myself using weekly again after the horror I've been through. I have pretty good self control unless I carry a stash around with me.

 

[herbavore]

I would guess that the boredom is just a readjustment then. Maybe you are done "partying" how you used to see it. I probably go out with friends 5 nights out of 6 but we go to movies, readings, small house concerts, etc. I take classes that meet at night just for my own enjoyment and I have a group of friends trying to practice Spanish that meets every couple of weeks. Maybe it's just your time to identify new ways of socializing that fit where you are now?

I'm glad that you are starting to feel better physically. That will help a lot in motivating you to deal with boredom.

I would not recommend using on "special occasions". I think the whole idea of setting it up in your mind as a reward or a special celebratory act when you have had a problem is a dangerous way to frame it in your mind. I think you could start a thread specifically around this question because it may not get as much attention buried in here and I know lots of people would respond (maybe lots that have tried that).

 

[Swimmingdancer]

What do you guys think about reintroducing stimulants as an occasional thing for special events? When is it reasonably 'safe' do you think? Maybe that needs it's own thread, I'll let the moderators decide. I'd like to be able to use again (although I feel way too anxious about using anything atm) but responsibly for those really special times. I never see myself using weekly again after the horror I've been through. I have pretty good self control unless I carry a stash around with me.

Honestly, I think you quit for a reason and that even IF you were actually able to go back to controlled once in a while use (most people aren't) that it could easily be problematic. It would be very easy to focus on the nights you knew you were going to be using drugs and not learn how to have fun or enjoy life or socializing without drugs. I've been there.