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How to overcome cowardice

"I think you just need a new crutch" said the devil

Myself,
I am always too shy to bother asking, but I don't have a good track record with healthy relationships, so
most of the time I think it is better for me to be single.
 
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
You will never get anywhere if you don't do anything. What's the worst that can happen? Is it really worse than nothing at all?
It's hard, but you've got to just go for it. Otherwise nothing will happen. Just try. Stop overthinking and do it :)
 
But what if i kiss her and it ruins this beautiful relationship that we already have?

ms.scagnattie - you made me LOL xD

psyduck - its funny caus i already asked my aunt and she told me to go about it subtly so as to not risk losing our relationship (ex: give her a flower and see if she cherishes it or just throws it on the table, nonchalantly ask her out on a date).
 
PrettyCoolGuy.png


Become Halo, eh doesnt afraid of anything.
 
^ LOLOL that thought i just had made me lol. I played all 3 halos and so i pretty much was him while i played it. I can just like pretend i'm playing the video game while i'm hanging out with her and reject my impulses to shoot aliens wielding gravity hammers and then just like kiss her and it'll be nothing to me compared to fighting aliens. FUCK YEAH lol. Can you imagine just hanging out with a girl and then out of nowhere u start role playing as the master chief and out of nowhere say: "hurry up cortana we need to get in the warthog and gtfo of here!" and i can just imagine her face like "wtf r u on bro?". so much lulz
Captain.Heroin said:
What if you ask a girl out, she says yes, and then eventually the two of you break up?

You'll never know what could have been if you never try. :)
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What if i don't ask her out and we stay friends for the next 40 years - or until one of us dies? I could see our friendship lasting that long but not a relationship. Even if we got married, we'd surely divorce sooner or later. I'll never know what sorta friendship we coulda had if i do try.
 
Friends grow apart just as often as romantic relationships end.
Is a platonic relationship going to satisfy your needs/desire?
If you're happy with being friends, good for you. Continue being friends.
If you want more, I can tell you now that it's very likely things will only get worse if you continue to sustain a relationship in which you desire more than you (can) have. Everyone has their limit.
 
Too lazy to edit so I'm just gonna double post, but it's not about how long the relationship lasts, it's about what you derive from it.
Would you enjoy a longer platonic relationship more than a shorter romantic relationship?
Why are you so certain you can't be platonic once the romance has ended? I know older people who have dated, that hasn't worked out, and they're still friends and have been for decades.
If you keep thinking she'll reject you, if you keep thinking it wouldn't last very long if she says yes..
I don't know, do what you want.
Just spend a bit of time deliberating/ruminate on your decision/choice
 
Yeah i know you're right man, i've been in this situation before and that's why i'm approaching the problem head on - Why am i a coward? What is it that i fear?

The last time it happened i fell in love with my friend slowly and then all at once, i wasn't even aware of it for a while and then i was stuck in a position where i wanted her so bad and then there was this barrier of friendship standing in my way. I was in love with her for over a year and i eventually got my heart broken. I think i've learned my lesson and i absolutely cannot let it happen again. I don't wanna live the rest of my life wondering what could have been. I'm gonna try not to make a big deal out of it - i like her, she likes me, what am i gonna do about it? The more i build this up in my head the more i'll fall for her and the harder it'll be for me to do what needs to be done. I just need to live in the now, not worrying about the past or future with her, awaiting the next moment i'll get to be with her, awaiting the moment i can get this burden off my shoulder.
 
Lost Ego said:
Yeah i know you're right man, i've been in this situation before and that's why i'm approaching the problem head on - Why am i a coward? What is it that i fear?

The last time it happened i fell in love with my friend slowly and then all at once, i wasn't even aware of it for a while and then i was stuck in a position where i wanted her so bad and then there was this barrier of friendship standing in my way. I was in love with her for over a year and i eventually got my heart broken. I think i've learned my lesson and i absolutely cannot let it happen again. I don't wanna live the rest of my life wondering what could have been. I'm gonna try not to make a big deal out of it - i like her, she likes me, what am i gonna do about it? The more i build this up in my head the more i'll fall for her and the harder it'll be for me to do what needs to be done. I just need to live in the now, not worrying about the past or future with her, awaiting the next moment i'll get to be with her, awaiting the moment i can get this burden off my shoulder.
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I recall sitting in high school 30 years ago next to a girl I liked so much it hurt. Took me all year to work up my nerve to ask her out-Of course she had a boyfriend. All you can do is move on
 
Lost Ego said:
Yeah i know you're right man, i've been in this situation before and that's why i'm approaching the problem head on - Why am i a coward? What is it that i fear?

The last time it happened i fell in love with my friend slowly and then all at once, i wasn't even aware of it for a while and then i was stuck in a position where i wanted her so bad and then there was this barrier of friendship standing in my way. I was in love with her for over a year and i eventually got my heart broken. I think i've learned my lesson and i absolutely cannot let it happen again. I don't wanna live the rest of my life wondering what could have been. I'm gonna try not to make a big deal out of it - i like her, she likes me, what am i gonna do about it? The more i build this up in my head the more i'll fall for her and the harder it'll be for me to do what needs to be done. I just need to live in the now, not worrying about the past or future with her, awaiting the next moment i'll get to be with her, awaiting the moment i can get this burden off my shoulder.
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best of luck lost.
hope you follow up and let my nosy ass know what happened...=D

~token
 
I'll definitely update you whether it turns out for the better or worse. It will probably be a few weeks, i just moved away from her and i now live about 45 mins away from her. I also just scored a job and i'd like to wait until my first paycheck to go see her so i don't feel like... such a "loser" for lack of better terms.
 
Lost Ego said:
I'll definitely update you whether it turns out for the better or worse. It will probably be a few weeks, i just moved away from her and i now live about 45 mins away from her. I also just scored a job and i'd like to wait until my first paycheck to go see her so i don't feel like... such a "loser" for lack of better terms.
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http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/625559-What-is-quot-now-quot?p=10612736&viewfull=1#post10612736

waiting for a paycheck seems a ridiculous excuse.
 
Something i've learned about women is they dont want to date a broke, jobless, no skill having woman. Granted she's not like most girls but i'd still feel better if after i kissed her i was able to say "hey i think there was a spark there and i wanna take you out and see how much potential we really have together".

And yes all we have is right now however right now i dont have the money for gas to even go see her, let alone take her out if things go well.
 
well, I am just saying... any respectable woman one even considers to have a relationship with wouldn't judge a guy for not having a paycheck or a lot of money yet. So what? You only recently started your job... you are at work now, you try to do the best you can to make progress in life. This is a good quality -- the paycheck isn't.

But, then again, follow your own intuition how to handle the situation. :) You must feel good about yourself seeing here. Waiting for your paycheck to increase your self-esteem seems a bit absurd for me, though, somehow I see your point. Nonetheless, any respectable woman won't judge you for not having your paycheck yet.
 
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