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How to not care what others think?

A

awkwardchild

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Joined
Apr 5, 2011
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85
Sometimes i dont give a fuk and its the greatest feeling but i cant seem to grasp this all the time

post advice please on how to not care what others think
 
Those who matter to you care, and those who don't care about you don't matter. This cliche works for me. I say I really don't give a crap what anyone else thinks about me, but I too need to remind myself from time to time. People everywhere are assholes for the most part, and have no influence over how I feel. They don't accept you for who you are, they can feck right off !
<KZ>
 
By realizing that you are responsible for your own happiness, and that we only live once, for an indeterminate amount of time.
 
I think this develops over time, exhaustion eventually sets in and it becomes to draining to invest so much energy into the concerns of others that its easier to just be you.
 
I successfully conquered this not give a fuck what other people think attitude and developed closer relationships with my family and my friends than ever before all through one good shroom trip. Its been a couple weeks since and i honestly believe i will be a better person forever.

I know this may seem immature but i have complete faith in psychedelics as a way to heal the psyche and get through emotional problems one has been struggling with. Psychedelic therapy i say.

O and when i wrote that i also assumed that social anxiety played a pretty large role in why you are asking this question?
 
highhooked said:
I successfully conquered this not give a fuck what other people think attitude and developed closer relationships with my family and my friends than ever before all through one good shroom trip. Its been a couple weeks since and i honestly believe i will be a better person forever.

I know this may seem immature but i have complete faith in psychedelics as a way to heal the psyche and get through emotional problems one has been struggling with. Psychedelic therapy i say.

O and when i wrote that i also assumed that social anxiety played a pretty large role in why you are asking this question?
Click to expand...
yup, general social anxiety. and i hate speaking aloud in class as well, i get real nervous
 
You're the only expert on you so other people's opinions and thoughts are based on having not enough information. Since those opinions are merely conjecture/theory they shouldn't have as much value as we tend to give them.

You're the only one who has to live with you for the rest of your life. Living according to how people who are essentially strangers think you should live isn't conducive to a personally happy life.

Perspective often changes throughout the day (for me at least). How we see things and how things really are are often completely dissimilar. Its difficult sometimes but try to remember that no one (even ourselves) is as bad or good as they or we think they are (its probably somewhere in the middle)
 
highhooked said:
I successfully conquered this not give a fuck what other people think attitude and developed closer relationships with my family and my friends than ever before all through one good shroom trip. Its been a couple weeks since and i honestly believe i will be a better person forever.

I know this may seem immature but i have complete faith in psychedelics as a way to heal the psyche and get through emotional problems one has been struggling with. Psychedelic therapy i say.

O and when i wrote that i also assumed that social anxiety played a pretty large role in why you are asking this question?
Click to expand...

One thing about psychedelics is that they can make some people even more nervous so unfortunately it can either way for alot of people. Or they can do nothing in terms of social anxiety. I know with me shrooms as a example helped my anxiety when i was on them and maybe for abit after but the effect always went away. I have known other people who have developed anxiety because of shrooms, LSD or other psychs so I'm just putting that out as a word of warning.

I had social anxiety up until my mid 20's almost but even when i had social anxiety i only gave a fuck about what certain people thought of me. I did become alot more confident in myself as i got older so no doubt that helped alot. Think of it this way most people are far too busy with their own shit to even notice you and that's one reason why besides friends and certainly family members i don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of me :\ . Plus if anyone does not like me they can go fuck right off as far as I'm concerned ;)
 
How old are you? Age did it for me. I was incredibly shy as a child, terrified of public interaction, telephones, whatever as a teen.....then in my early 20s I permanently stopped giving a fuck. I'm 29 now and my give-a-fuck meter in my brain is seriously busted so bad that it's gone in the opposite direction and I really ought to give a fuck about some situations and don't and something horrify strangers in my lackadaisical reaction to a lot of things...or something. LOL


Not that I don't have days of anxiety, still dealing with PTSD issues, but the generalized anxiety, social phobia stuff is long gone with age and maturing.
 
Yeah I wish I there was an easy answer because I'd feel much better too. Nobody can experience being YOU fully except yourself. Others may be able to form general opinions or make assessments based on general psychological principles but it is only you that experiences your own self and your own mind. So while it doesn't matter if somebody judges you harshly, it also doesn't really matter if somebody thinks you're the greatest thing in the world. You'll only be able to feel however it is you feel about yourself.

If you feel good about yourself then you'll meet others that accept you as you are; if you don't then you'll likely end up surrounded by people that are judgmental. We can only accept from others that which we've already accepted in ourselves; if a person tells you that you are intelligent/attractive/etc. but you don't feel it then you will not feel intelligent/attractive except for maybe a brief moment.
 
awkwardchild, I have the same problem and it is something I have tried very hard to overcome! There is some excellent advice in this thread, but I just wanted to say that the thing I found most useful for overcoming it is CBT - challenging the thoughts you have about yourself and how others view it. There are a couple of really good websites for self-CBT which are worth a try, MoodGym and Living Life to the Full :) it doesn't suit everyone of course, but it did help me a lot.

I'm glad you manage to not care sometimes - it shows you have the capacity to and the ablity to, it took me a long time to learn how to do that! Being happy with yourself is key to not minding what others say I think - if you are comfortable in your own skin, you don't need to rely on other people for your self-confidence. The way I (try to) see it is to think - I am living my life how I want to - people who don't like it probably aren't people who's opinions I should worry about.. it takes time to get comfortable with the idea that you can't please everyone in life, but when you do, it becomes a lot easier to go your own way and not worry about what people think. Those who matter will understand and respect you for it :)
 
awkwardchild said:
Sometimes i dont give a fuk and its the greatest feeling but i cant seem to grasp this all the time

post advice please on how to not care what others think
Click to expand...

What you have to do is put yourself in the mindset that you do things to make yourself happy. You have to always remember that you come first in life and your happiness comes first. If you live life tip-toeing around others to make them happy you will always be working hard and not necessarily being happy yourself.

Do what you love and if people disregard you for this, they aren't worth being your friends.
 
the only way you can overcome what others think about you is to place the highest importance or in other words "crown" what you think of your self above all, i think its all about self confidence. people will always have different opinnions about different people. but in the end its all about your opinion concerning your self. if you are totally confident in your self, what others think will just be what other's think and has nothing to do with what "you think". if your seeking answers about your self through others it is a sign of low self esteem. work on your self esteem and eventually you would penetrate the cycle where your'e stuck thinking what others think of you.
 
Yes, this feeling took me the longest time to grab ahold onto. It's something that most people cannot hold onto forever, but think about it, all that your appearance affects is their opinion, which is as harmless as an ant. You weren't put on this earth to please people, just as you don't expect everybody to please you (hopefully). It's all about self acceptance.
 
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