How to live as a sociopath? Fuck if I know, but I'm good at what I do.

[C_Tripper]

I read that true psychopaths/sociopaths have the ability to understand empathy quite well, but are unable to feel the emotion behind it. Its just another tool for them to exploit people with. I guess the op might be able to explain some of their methods.

or its this I suppose:
"Psychopaths do not lack empathy, rather they can switch it on at will, according to new research."

This explains me rather well.

I will say that the topic at hand makes you very good at sales, in my personal experience. Of course, there are negatives that come with them, like anything.

 

[neversickanymore]

So it comes down to a choice... If you could please share a source for that recent research that would be great C-trip.

 

[Zerrr]

So it comes down to a choice... If you could please share a source for that recent research that would be great C-trip.

My searching lead me here:

http://brain.oxfordjournals.org/content/136/8/2550.full

(quotes are from a news article about the research)

The predominant notion had been that they are callous individuals, unable to feel emotions themselves and therefore unable to feel emotions in others.

"Our work shows it's not that simple. They don't lack empathy but they have a switch to turn it on and off. By default, it seems to be off."

"It's dangerous to look at brain activation and say that it means they're empathising. They are able to generate a typical neural response, but that doesn't mean they have the same empathetic experience,"

*I am not saying this is accurate, just posting the link.

 

[lovepsychadelics]

Daily.

 

[motherofearth]

Hi FBoK, I really like your username (not enough to type it all out, but ya know....). Welcome to Bluelight!

I quoted the above post b/c I think it tells us significantly more about you than the first. Well, a bit more at least. For instance it answered my question as to whether you (and other sociopaths) have control over the way you process emotions. It should seem obvious that you wouldn't, as it often is portrayed as a disorder. Unless I'm reading this wrong, you and the other posters representing sociopaths on this thread seem to find ways to use it as an asset in your lives, or so you perceive. But then you are posting here, w/ sociopathic tendencies the subject. Typically the subjects of threads here translate into laments, so do you wish things were different and simply can't find a way to change them? Or are you upset about the your outlooks or condition as it relates to emotions being classified a disorder by society at large? Forgive me if this was spelled out in your post. Sometimes I can't read between the lines so well, or I miss a vital statement.

It may be this ambiguity that has nsa all stirred up. Which I must now say, nsa I am as interested in hearing why this topic has you as exasperated as you appear as I am the OP. As I said above, I'm of the belief these sociopaths do not strive to be the way they are - in reality they do struggle to feel despair, ecstasy, grief and so on - however they also largely paint this reduction in emotion as a boon rather than a bane. Specifically, I'm wondering if you have some first hand experience w/ a sociopath which has led you to feel as you do.

Also, the part where FBoK very much shuns many recommendations she anticipates people may make in a list really interests me, for if you've suffered so many pointless or ineffectual recommendations in the past, why open yourself up to more of them here?

This was probably the most poorly worded post I've ever authored. If anyone can make sense of it, take a gold star. If not, kindly disregard. Nothing to see here.

TL;DR I am not the OP - please don't temp ban me for an alt Just really bad English!

 

[fluffyboxofkittens]

Moe, that was a clearly written post. Maybe I can answer some of your questions below.

Nsa, I think you have hit the nail on the head in your query of what is the root of all sociopathy? It seems to me, it all comes down to power. As I have grown and my introspective nature has lead to a deeper understanding about myself, I have come to the realization that all my past and current actions are based around obtaining or continuing to hold power and control. Not that I chose to be this way intentionally, it is just how I operate. I don't feel guilty for being how I am, just aware.
I have been thinking, why did I come on Bluelight and put this out there? What did I hope to gain from this post? I'm not lonely or sad, so that's not it. I'm not looking for a way to fix anything at this point as I do not think I need fixing. I'm not looking for attention here, and part of the anonymity of this site and forum was a draw to make sure attention wasn't a driving force. Part of me just wanted to get my insides out, tell my secrets, like airing out a sweaty hand puppet. Like NSA, I struggle with understanding the 'why' of myself and would like to tease it apart to see the insides. Make associations, connections. My analytical nature is curious as to what I am exactly. I understand my obfuscation is apparent, and wittingly and unwittingly occurs, it is natural, although I do try and break the habit.
In the past I have struggled with feeling like I was broken compared to everyone else, so I did try extreme therapies to induce emotional responses within myself. It never happened. Sometime in the last 2 years I realized I am not supposed to be like others, I am a whole different creature and just cannot relate in the same way. Knowing this, I want to see if I can break myself or my nature, as an experiment.
Only one person has seen through and called me out for what I am, an ex that has known me for many years and caught on to my methods (that I had only come to realize a few years before he did). He thinks I manipulate others for attention, but I know that's not it. I don't get a rise from attention, its what is behind the attention that I go for. When I am desired by others, for my attention/friendship/body, I have power and control. I am being as truthful as I can here. Nsa, you sound disappointed and angry that sociopathy isn't all its cracked up to be, and you are right. Its not a big deal if you don't care and I think that's the point. The secret to me is that when it comes down to it, I really don't care about others and their feelings and I want to have the power in a way that they don't know it.

 

[neversickanymore]

The greatest power on earth comes from being good to people and helping relieve them of their suffering and promoting their peace and hapiness... If you can do this time after time then you will have all the power they can give without them even considering what power you have. If you can figure this out then the earth and everything around you will be yours, and what's more it will be worth owning.

 

[chocolatecovered]

Fluffyboxofkittens, I wholly identify with every word you've shared on this post. Despite you likely not ever going to read this since it's years later, I'm going to pretend that you will.

Reading what people have written in response to you, like neversickanymore, shows how fundamentally different we are than they are. Their wiring is different and can't understand. Conversely, although we can't feel what they feel, we understand the way they work very well.

Accepting myself means no longer trying to become normal. When I do this, I feel a release from holding onto a secret. I'm only lonely when I'm trying to be someone I'm not. I feel safe and without striving when I'm honest about who I am. Recently I told a woman who had been into me for some time that I have an intimacy threshold that will kick in at some unforeseen point that will devastate her. She asked why, and I simply said my mother ruined me. When I said it, it surprised me. It felt exactly true. It wasn't in a blaming kind of way. Just an explanation.

To those who think I'm only wanting to perceive myself as special; you have no comprehension of the hard work someone like me has put into becoming like you. Don't feel sorry for me. Just understand that there are those among you who are not going to change, heal, or grow into what you'd like us to be.

Despite not loving anyone, I've been loved deeply and by many. The energy itself feels great. And they feel great as well. If only they could understand that I can't return it things would be possibly sustainable.

 

[neversickanymore]

I recently had an experience with a psycho/sociopath. I now fully understand you. I have to say the experience was anticlimactic in the end.

You seem to fancy yourselfs as superior and of high intelligence. In reality you simply exploit human trust and compassion to the simplest and unrewarding ends.

Given your shallow values, once a person can recognize you all, your as easy to manipulate as a pet.

 

[CfZrx]

Isn't the biggest difference between a socio and a psycho is sociopath always makes careless moves and frequently gets caught?

 

[RedRum OG]

This is somewhat reminiscent of a 12 year old kid feeling tough and angry at the world, thinking it is cool to be hard and heartless, because after all , most male "role models" and In movies are the "strong silent type" cliche which is a bunch of bullshit

Emotions are what life is all about. How can you enjoy it without emotion? There are no ups if there are no downs. Sounds very boring and pointless and lame

 

[ThePharmacist4925]

I've read many a book on the subject matter of sociopaths and psychopaths. I've been acquainted with both at different times in my life. According to one book 4% of people are sociopathic. In truth I don't think that the ability to turn on and off different aspects of our mind is so abnormal. The brain is malleable and it can be ours to use however we want given that we take the time to learn. Most people aren't interested in learning complex and often boring techniques for how to think and how to play a social gathering like puppets. It's not that hard to get desired results from people with a little work. That being said I think it's wrong. I'd encourage people to no manipulate others, it takes the fun out of the random nature of the life experience. However, if I have to I will combat those who wish to use their mental advantage to harm people. It always surprises me whose playing dumb or just people can be very good and using their mind as a tool.

 

[CFC]

Interesting thread. My entire family are either sociopaths, aspies, ADDers, and/or a mixture of all three. None are particularly mendacious but the more sociopathic ones are, as you'd expect, almost incapable of suppressing their inherently selfish/superficial and usually short-term behaviour to focus on broader cooperative goals. Regardless, sociopaths seem to come in as many different flavours as anyone else and no two are really the same beyond the basics (limited empathetic abilities etc).