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how to let them know i just want fwb

  • Thread starter Thread starter butter666
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butter666

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slr

alrite mates, here's the deal. 29 yr old male from leeds, uk here. i used to know this chick with whom i fooled around with a couple times, mostly making out and some groping here and there. have licked dem titties. didn't go farther cuz she was hesitant to do so with someone who wasn't her bf. she moved away and that was that.

so she just moved back and i bumped into her, she gave me her number and said lets hang out. now, i don't want to date her. i do not want to regularly hang out. i just want to fuck, get my dick wet, and generally bust a nut. she's always been way waayyy much more into me than i am into her. i've never been interested in making her my gf, thats never gonna happen.

my question is how do i get the message across that i don't want a relationship just friends with benefits? don't want to come off mean or tactless. better yet, how do i convince her? i don't want to mislead her.
 
That indeed is a rough area with lots of grey. I never had the finesse to talk them into it, I was more less hanging out with them and let one thing lead to another. Of course I'm not always happy with how I was, but I'll put it this way, I never dated a girl I didn't fuck first.
 
its easy, just make the relationship only about sex and dont listen to her troubles she will figure it out on her own
 
I agree with weekday warrior, just make it clear your only interested in one thing. I mean to most women, that's what they only think guys are after anyway.... sex.
 
Very sweet of you to be considerate of her emotions. You already know she is protecting her mind by setting stop-limits (no physical relationship without commitment). That's who she is.

Penetration triggers a release of hormones. She's preventing herself from getting too attached to you.
 
Yeah it's very important not to lead her on, or you're contributing to the whole "all guys are assholes" dilemma that is used as a general cock-block against half-decent guys.
 
Go find someone who isn't so into you.

She may very well agree with your proposal, and start having sex with you. However, its likely that it will get more complicated than you would like.

Seek someone who thinks a little more like you when it comes to no strings attached sex - sounds like she's looking for something else.
 
Go find someone who isn't so into you.

She may very well agree with your proposal, and start having sex with you. However, its likely that it will get more complicated than you would like.

Seek someone who thinks a little more like you when it comes to no strings attached sex - sounds like she's looking for something else.

+1..

You already know ahead of time what she wants and doesn't.
There's no need for you to fuck w/her head...which is what you'll do;
whether it's your intention or not...
and I believe that it's not.

There's plenty of what you're looking for out there...I think you should just go find it out there..
and leave her be. Just one females p.o.v.

:) token
 
Be honest up front, it will save you and her both from pain in the long run. Mention somehow that you like how you guys can just hang out at special friends, mention that youre not ready for a relationship and ask if shes still cool just enjoying time together without being together. The biggest problem is the fact that she already really likes you, and may not be able to seperate her feelings. If she claims to only mess around w guys who are her boyfriend, then youre SOL bc she may end up expecting something to develop between u two or feel offended by it. Its so much better to be honest about what u want then to lead her on and hurt her. maybe shell go for it though
 
Go find someone who isn't so into you.

She may very well agree with your proposal, and start having sex with you. However, its likely that it will get more complicated than you would like.

Seek someone who thinks a little more like you when it comes to no strings attached sex - sounds like she's looking for something else.

I agree. Why would you try this with this girl? You know she doesn't want a fuck buddy type thing, and you said you're not that into her anyway. Just find someone else, otherwise you're just willingly and knowingly asking for a messy situation.
 
I agree. Why would you try this with this girl? You know she doesn't want a fuck buddy type thing, and you said you're not that into her anyway. Just find someone else, otherwise you're just willingly and knowingly asking for a messy situation.

qft

~token
 
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sounds like you have no other options and you want to use her for sex but she aint into that yet you still feel the need to get into those pants. i'd move on and stop wasting my time on something that can only happen if i act like a lying twat
 
my question is how do i get the message across that i don't want a relationship just friends with benefits? don't want to come off mean or tactless. better yet, how do i convince her? i don't want to mislead her.

i would start with saying, "i am not looking for a relationship, nor am i emotionally available to be in one right now. i am available for sex, and that is what i enjoy with you."

seems easy enough to me.
 
Basically a done deal here.
If she's not head over heels for you, she'll either turn it down because she wants something serious, or go for it to have some closeness and sex until she finds that person, but that'll probably just lead to her becoming attached and acting like a girlfriend when you're not looking at it like that. Conflict will arise, any potential friendship will be fucked up.
The (even worse) alternative is that she's really into you, in that case she'll probably start fucking you in hopes that you'll become attached. Then when you don't, well, it's just the worst situation possible.
Don't do it. There are plenty of attractive women out there that want the same thing as you. It's not worth the probable drama to get this aforementioned mediocre pussy.
 
Just broach the subject, tactfully. She may want the same thing, just be very careful not to make her feel like a slut, or its game over.
 
just be very careful not to make her feel like a slut, or its game over.

more words to live by...
if i were a guy or lesbian..i would totally make this my new wallpaper...

~token
 
How do you get the message across?

Tell her point blank you'd love to get involved with her sexually, but don't think it's a good idea because you can't see it ever going anywhere else. YOU have no intention of it.

She might surprise you and tell her she don't want anything more either. She might be lying but that's her fault then. You have been honest. Just as long as you bail nicely and compassionately if she gets too much for what you are seeking right now - conscience clear!

Make sure you mention other girls you are seeing when you are in her company after a few weeks, so she gets the message - just enough to spark a bit of jealousy and disgust - it will turn her off you a bit, but keep her coming back for moreif you tentatively get it to the right degree. [If she dyes her hair red, steer clear altogether though.]

Dr3w3b34r sounds like you are projecting too much your own past experiences. I have had those same experiences too - way back, not with emotionally mature women.
 
if you end up getting her to actually go along with this..
do NOT....worthy of repetition...do NOT...
mention any other girl(s) you're dating or sleeping with.
This will kill the mood..trust me as a woman!
you don't wanna go there..even if you're asked...
distract/evasive maneuvering.

~token
 
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