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How to learn and become a successful drug addict; advice?

RobotRipping

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Joined
Jan 18, 2011
Messages
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NS, Canada
I have come to accept after 10 years that i am a straight up drug addict. Polydrug addict. I accept that. I will not fight it but i want to keep it under control! I don't want to do 10 day binges on stims anymore, i don't want to go through opiate/benzo withdrawals any more and i want a normal life. My dexedrine script was cut off so that sucks cause that was a miracle drug for me but i abused the shit out of it.

right now i take etizolam and never abuse it because there's no point and it's never caused a single issue in my life. Now i'm supplementing with EPH and then whatever stims i can get for my ADHD while i'm in school because i have a terrible case of it and also have a terrible case of drug addiction and no Dr wants to treat both at once.

So how do i keep myself in line?

I found a few guidelines that help:

1) sleep every night
2) eat properly
3) try to stay healthy
4) only leave a certain amount of a stimulant out and once it's gone, it's gone and it's bed time! and too bad for me.

still that urge to just stay up for 2 weeks on a polydrug binge eats away at me but i can tolerate life on drug maintenance without killing myself or anyone else. Sober is just not gonna happen, have too many mental disorders like dissociation, derealization, anxiety, panic attacks, mania, boredom, depression and so on. Not to mention life fucking sucks without drugs, sorry, but it does, i'd rather suck dicks than be sober forever.
Anyone else feel this way? anyone else out there achieving their goals and dreams despite having a pretty heavy habit? I go to school, did shitty last semester due to drugs but i think i can keep my shit together and get through it. Already have a degree so i know i can do it. If anyone has any other tips (they seem so simple yet they are effective) i'd love to hear them or related stories.

btw i am not talking about just being a stoner, i hate cannabis now can't smoke it, it sucks, i'm talking opiates/benzos/psychs/stims psychs on weekends or special occasions tho.
 
Try and do all the normal and healthy things that you would do without drugs. Once you get into the routine of say exercising, eating right, keeping an active social life, taking vitamins/supplements and sleeping properly then the need you feel to take drugs will diminish and then go from there.

I know it is hard to do becasue when your high you are already satisfied so why exercise and eat right etc. but you gotta try. I think thats the first step.
 
I never take srugs during the day. Only before bed. I use my methadobe during the day. Keeps me living a relatively "successful" life.
 
Don't run out of drugs or money or connections.

Also balance you uppers and downers so you don't fall asleep at the wrong time and you stay chill.

Get a job where you are not drug tested.

Don't support your significant other's habit.

Find a dirty doctor.

Grow poppies? (if they are legal to grow where you live)

Don't get arrested. Don't drink and drive. Once you are in the system shit hits the fan.
 
yeah def need a dirty doctor lol i hate dealing with that 'system' though, i end up in w/d more often than when i self medicate because i don't get monstrous amounts in storage!

i'm not much of an opiate fan anymore, keep to myself while high and am out of that risk engaging stage of my life (cept the odd race on the highway but i'm never on downers for those).

those are good tips tho; some things i forgot like suffering :( it is necessary isn't it?

At the end of the day or a 10 day binge rather if you asked me if the crash or withdrawals were worth it, i'd tell you, definitely, most definitely yes. And i've been through horrid withdrawals so many times. I'd rather extreme highs and lows than a boring life, i need extreme excitement, a rush, danger, risk to feel alive, perhaps a dangerous high paying job would help me quit drugs because that's the void they fill essentially.

thanks guys.

yeah never drink and drive; i never drink alcohol actually anyway, i mean what's the point when there's GHB? i wouldn't drive on any downers or psychs tho too fuckin risky for me these days, dodged a few duis when i was young and stupid

i only take stims and etizolam during the day i pretty much just do maintenance during the days but of course my doses get insanely high and it's hard to sustain; etizolam is fine it's the stims that end up throwing me in psychosis and hunting shadow people. So i really gotta set some ground rules when it comes to stim use, maybe just go back to using stimmy psychs or something.
 
Unfortunately benzodiazapines are pretty unsustainable drugs to be on continuously. Once you get off the etizolam and suffer through the protracted withdrawal that brings you'll begin to heal and likely will feel better than you ever have.

I was on klonopin at doses up to 6mg a day towards the end and after a 6 month taper it took about 6 months of abstinance I feel better than I've ever felt, though I do take gabapentin which I would recommend unconditionally to anyone in need of proper anxiolytic.

It's obviously not going to be easy you'll be bedbound in bad shape for a while but as much as it hurts to face it your etizolam will stop working you will need to up the dose to feel normal over and over again until it just stops working all together. You should switch to a longer half-life benzo like valium or klonopin and start your taper the sooner the better.

As for the amphetamines, that's really your call. If you can use them and function then I'd say sure but if you abuse them (I noticed the 'addict' in your title instead of 'user') they're obviously going to stop working and possibly cause a myriad of negative symptoms like depression, cardiovascular problems, cognitive decline etc. etc.

1) sleep every night
2) eat properly
3) try to stay healthy
4) only leave a certain amount of a stimulant out and once it's gone, it's gone and it's bed time! and too bad for me.

Those are excellent rules to live your life by if you can manage it you're already halfway there.

I truly don't think you have to consider yourself an 'addict' at all though in my opinion start tapering off the benzos asap the sooner the better. I was taking them on and off for almost ten years and yes it did take a year to get over it but what's one year compared to the 2-3 years it will take down the line if you don't start your taper. Interestingly enough gabapentin and lyrica were the only tools I found that alleviated the protracted withdrawal symptoms. Good luck.
 
Hell, if I COULD sleep without the use of downers.. it would be FAR easier for me to quit using dope.
Being diagnosed as a chronic insomniac doesn't help.
But damn.. I'm completely serious when I say "If I could sleep when W/D'ing, my dope using days would be long gone"
 
Hell, if I COULD sleep without the use of downers.. it would be FAR easier for me to quit using dope.
Being diagnosed as a chronic insomniac doesn't help.
But damn.. I'm completely serious when I say "If I could sleep when W/D'ing, my dope using days would be long gone"

I feel you brotha, went on a short detox from my routine dilaudin.
As if the vomits and shits ain't enough your skin crawls all night while you can't sit still and your wide fucikin awake.

I still sweat massive amounts when sleepin cause I ramped up my dose way to high fucking around with this potent ass hydromorphone.

Ended up folding day 3/4? I don't even know I coulda made it but for some reason my mind tricked me to restarting this mess I'm in.

i think once drug addict comes into play its all a shit storm from there.
Any one who can function like this for a life time, that must be a nightmare.
 
Don't drink and drive.
+1

Balance your life with many pleasurable things that aren't drugs... it improves the quality of your life and cuts down dramatically on the amount of drugs you consume, this makes your life better including the high during drug use.

Dont use drugs to try and escape or solve your problems or to hide from negative emotions.

Exercise, sleep, eat well, spiritual pursuits, travel, sports or hobbies.

Try and avoid or escape from physical dependence.

Don't use your addiction as an excuse to fuck yourself or other people over.

Don't by into the bullshit that a drug addict is a criminal and have it turn you into criminal.

Own your own business.

Have a great lawyer.

Stay away from the soul crushing drugs as much as possible.. slip in and slip out.

Be honest with yourself.

Throw all guilt and shame out the fucking window.

Don't get into the habit or get out of the habit of synergizing drugs all the time.

Everything in moderation, including moderation once and awhile.

Don't take up or give up the needle.

Avoid your DOC as much as possible once you have passed over mountain, when it has become chasing instead of receiving.

Learn how to pull the rip cord during a session.. more isn't better so many times. Keep in mind that there is always tomorrow, the drugs aren't going anywhere.

If something isn't working out change the way you approach it instead of thinking it going to be different this time.

Do everything you can ahead of time to be safe and to avoid getting busted.. the old an "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" or "A gram of prevention is worth a kilo of cure"

EDIT: Don't dress like a drug addict and keep yourself groomed to societal norms.. it makes you invisible/normal to cops, Doctors, Pharmacists, non drug using citizens, employers, probation officers, judges, the whole show basically.. the old hide in plain sight.
 
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If you're at the point where you need to come up with "rules" to control your drug use... you've already lost, in my opinion.

If you're doing opiates, coke, meth, shit like that... then whatever rules you set in place, you'll watch yourself break eventually, and you'll justify it every time.
 
"Successful drug addict" ... what a perfect contradiction in terms.

highhooked advised to "Try and do all the normal and healthy things that you would do without drugs ... then the need you feel to take drugs will diminish and then go from there."

I am a drug addict. I was clean for 17 years. By the way, even when I was clean, I was a drug addict. I just happened not to be using drugs during that period. My experience is that while highhooked is correct in that the "normal and healthy things" that he mentioned above generally do work at keeping drug abuse at bay, they generally do work only for "normal" people. Most addicts have to take additional steps for the desire to use drugs to subside. Since RobotRipping has made it perfectly clear that they are not looking to quit, I won't share with him/her what worked for me when I decided I wanted to stop.

I will share that for years prior to getting clean I worked out regularly, was successfully and gainfully employed, maintained a high level of personal hygiene, vacationed, and did all of the things normal people do, except I had a dark side. I used drugs.. a lot. I am a drug addict. I will concede that engaging in healthy behavior, showering, eating right, and even engaging in spiritual activities, is beneficial to most people, even (especially?) active drug addicts. There is no question in my mind that taking care of yourself in active addiction pays dividends, especially if you ever decide to get clean. While actively using, I maintained good oral hygiene (would lock myself in the bathroom to shoot dope, and then brush my teeth most mornings) and was known among some as the only junkie in town with all of his teeth. Today while I'm not 100% 12-step clean, I don’t get high everyday and I still have a great smile and am generally healthy because in part, I took care of myself when I was shooting dope (speaking of a contradictory lifestyle).

I will go out on a limb here and say that it is every addicts dream to able to use drugs excessively and live a successful life … indefinitely. Unfortunately, many of us know that there are really only 4 ultimate life outcomes for true addicts… jails and/or institutions and/or death and/or recovery.

I’m afraid RobotRipping will find that they are not unique in this regard.
 
But damn.. I'm completely serious when I say "If I could sleep when W/D'ing, my dope using days would be long gone"

I think most feel this way. Id always tell myself while in wd or in jail, if i could just sleep this pain away itd be so much easier. Tweekers got it easy. Just eatin and sleepin.

Yea mr scag thats totally true. Rules dont last. "oh ill just use on the weekends..." to "ill just use this once during the week but then back to only weekends" to using in every day that ends in "y".
 
+1

Balance your life with many pleasurable things that aren't drugs... it improves the quality of your life and cuts down dramatically on the amount of drugs you consume, this makes your life better including the high during drug use.

Dont use drugs to try and escape or solve your problems or to hide from negative emotions.

To whosajig I was just stating how it is. I see your posts on w/d and dependence, you could follow your own advice.

Exercise, sleep, eat well, spiritual pursuits, travel, sports or hobbies.

Try and avoid or escape from physical dependence.

Don't use your addiction as an excuse to fuck yourself or other people over.

Don't by into the bullshit that a drug addict is a criminal and have it turn you into criminal.

Own your own business.

Have a great lawyer.

Stay away from the soul crushing drugs as much as possible.. slip in and slip out.

Be honest with yourself.

Throw all guilt and shame out the fucking window.

Don't get into the habit or get out of the habit of synergizing drugs all the time.

Everything in moderation, including moderation once and awhile.

Don't take up or give up the needle.

Avoid your DOC as much as possible once you have passed over mountain, when it has become chasing instead of receiving.

Learn how to pull the rip cord during a session.. more isn't better so many times. Keep in mind that there is always tomorrow, the drugs aren't going anywhere.

If something isn't working out change the way you approach it instead of thinking it going to be different this time.

Do everything you can ahead of time to be safe and to avoid getting busted.. the old an "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" or "A gram of prevention is worth a kilo of cure"

EDIT: Don't dress like a drug addict and keep yourself groomed to societal norms.. it makes you invisible/normal to cops, Doctors, Pharmacists, non drug using citizens, employers, probation officers, judges, the whole show basically.. the old hide in plain sight.

A well thought out post as usual for you never sick. I must say these are good to strive for by don't beat yourself up if this isn't you.
also much easier read then done. Lol

Whosajig: I was just stating how it Is. I've seen your posts on w/d and dependence, you could follow your own advice.
 
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