How To Help a friend??

[belfort]

look ive been through several detoxes with opiates and im still not 100% clean but i have a friend, a woman that is 39 years old..i just found out she is in jail again for driving on suspended license..she was also found out to have taken $800 from her family during the past few weeks...she is bi-polar and has problems with heroin but she also smokes weed and takes xanax..she is on disability for her bi-polar, she cannot work but obviously all her money goes to dope...she has 2 kids, one of which will never talk to her again, and the other she doesnt take care of that well and i see her headed down a bad path..this woman i know is married to a guy that of course also has major drug problems, heroin and xanax...they have both soaked their families dry of money, borrowed and stole and have burned so many bridges that they have basically no support anymore..i have told her in the past to go to rehab and get away from everyone for a good 6 months, get her head straight but she is also co-dependent, she cannot live without having some guy around her at all times...the only guys she will attract are fellow drug users...so anyways she called me 3 days ago wanting advice..she basically told me that she is fucked and i do believe she is, she has so many different problem that all intersect..she cannot work, has no work history, no skills, her kids basically hate her, her family is beyond fed up with her and the only reason she is with the man she is with now is out of necessity..he at least works a little to have a place for them to live..

so, what do you recommend to someone in her state?ill be honest, im at a loss...i know its miserable to kick drugs but her other problems make her scenario a nightmare that i wouldnt even know how to begin to fix...any suggestions?anyone else in a similar situation as her?

have there ever been times when you ahve basically cut people off as you would have basically exhausted your energy trying to help only for it to end in same scenario over and over?

 

[T. Calderone]

Well yeah, my sister has a similar problem with being bipolar (on disability) and basically wrecked her life due to cocaine abuse. There was a time where she had a promising career as a nurse and made some bad choices with drugs. I just can't reach her and a couple times she agreed to rehab but found reasons not to go and has contracted HIV and Hep C. So at 46, she's still prostituting herself to have money for drugs because she blows through her check within a week.

So I'm done with trying to help her for now because she really doesn't want it, more or less looking for sympathy. Your friend is heading down a path I'm too familiar with and the obvious solution for her is getting off drugs. I believe the domino effect from addiction could be reversed when a person gets clean and sincerely tries to turn their life around. This lady is not beyond help if she really wants to do this but ultimately it's up to her. All you can do is continue to offer moral support and nudge her in the right direction.

 

[belfort]

^^yeah the big stumbling block with my friend is she gets clean, realizes the absolute wreckage that her life has become, cant stand it, so turns to drugs again or since she always needs a man with her, that guys starts using and she follows suit..thats why i told her to start over basically, get away from hubby and druggy friends, and just start fresh..she looked at me like HOW can i do that at this age?another problem is she cannot work so this leaves her with lots of down time, in comes the drugs..i think with so many addicts that they have no strong passion or hobbies so that makes it that much more difficult to get and stay clean..

at least your sis once had a promising career or goal in her life..the girl i know has never had that, she has just drifted..