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how to give up a drug (alcohol) that i like and have intertwined with my social life

pofacedhoe

pofacedhoe

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basically woke up today with a fat lip and grazes all over that suggest that £1 a pint was a bad decision. pretty sure the sambuca didn't help.

either way i need a way to give up a very enjoyable (when i'm drunk) drug. alcohol.

i have no problem giving up drugs like zopiclone/poppy tea/amphetamines. but alcohol. too much of my social life is intertwined with alcohol.

anyone who has done this who also liked alcohol. advice please
 
All I can say is I drank by myself for 3 years. I also drank with my friends socially. When I tried to quit I couldn't go out with my friends and had to move because it was too much of a trigger for me. Sometimes you have to not go out with your friends, at least for the beginning for your own safety. Hopefully your friends will understand your an alcoholic and not drink around you or talk about drinking. Many of my friends did not respect this and I had to avoid them or I drank with them. This is a sticky situation. Not sure what else to say. Hope I helped some. It would be good to find some new sober friends or if you have some already go out with them but not to a bar, maybe a restaurant or somethign of the sort. You get the idea.. Friends can be triggers, unfortunately.
 
hmm this is true. and i do drink alone out of boredom and socially too. i need to restructure my life without alcohol.
 
It's incredibly difficult giving up alcohol, one big reason because of how socially acceptable it is.

My situation is similar and it has been incredibly hard. I am a 22 year old male. I haven't explained anything to my friends. It's impossible for them to understand. I just said, "I'm not drinking anymore." and let them speculate. I haven't been to a bar since I stopped. Bars are huge triggers, you can't live that life you lived before. Parties are huge triggers. After work drinks? Can't go either. My friends ask me, "Where did the old you go?"

My life has changed WAY more drastically in these pasts 2 months and 7 days than ever before. As you said, it's a restructuring without alcohol. And honestly? It kind of sucks.. but it's so worth it even though I miss the old life. It's not just the cravings for alcohol, it's the whole party experience I'll never have again that I miss. But there comes a time when sobriety is worth more than drinking yourself to death (for me, literally). Sobriety gets easier. Sobriety becomes fun in it's own way. I have no regrets.

My family doesn't know. I don't know how I'll explain it to them.

Sorry I haven't had my coffee yet so I bet this post doesn't make a lot of sense.
 
I was a raging alcoholic for years and years and my friends who were alcoholics too did not help at all. When I started dating a guy for 4 years who was super conservative that was the time when I had a tight leash lols. I think finding a special person in your life who you would want to give up alcoholism/drugs is the best way to do it IMO. :)
 
daveykronick said:
All I can say is I drank by myself for 3 years. I also drank with my friends socially. When I tried to quit I couldn't go out with my friends and had to move because it was too much of a trigger for me. Sometimes you have to not go out with your friends, at least for the beginning for your own safety. Hopefully your friends will understand your an alcoholic and not drink around you or talk about drinking. Many of my friends did not respect this and I had to avoid them or I drank with them. This is a sticky situation. Not sure what else to say. Hope I helped some. It would be good to find some new sober friends or if you have some already go out with them but not to a bar, maybe a restaurant or somethign of the sort. You get the idea.. Friends can be triggers, unfortunately.
Click to expand...

I had to do the same thing. Some of the people I used to be friends with who I would drink with I had to cut out of my life since they wouldn't respect that I don't drink any alcohol and can no longer drink yet would try to get me to drink. I still hang out with people who drink I just do not drink alcohol or spend most of the day or night in bars like I used to. If I'm at a party or somewhere where people are drinking I don't drink any alcohol, sometimes I go off alone, I'll leave early, or I just don't go at all. A friend of mine who is an alcoholic got married but I did not go to his bachelor party or wedding since there was going to be tons of booze there and it was a long holiday weekend, and my friend and his friends all they like to do is pretty much just drink tons of booze nowadays.

Good luck.

Also if you want to quit alcohol cut back slowly. Don't just quit cold turkey especially if you are a daily drinker. If you have to, go to detox/rehab. I quit drinking very large amounts of booze on a daily basis after doing it daily for a long period of time and had zero withdrawals but it's not like this for most people. I asked my doctor about it and other medical professionals and they said I have excellent genes.
 
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I don't want to preach recovery, but I don't honestly know of any method that will work other than AA. It's simple, and effective. It's saved my life and can save yours too. If you have any questions about meetings/the 12 steps or any concerns, myths you'd like cleared up, things that turn you off about AA, anything - please ask/post about it and/or PM me and I would be more than happy to help clear anything up.

That being said - I don't have any other advice other than drop all your friends and make new ones, but the only place I can think of for you to make new friends that are healthy to have is, well, AA... So good luck. I know it's hard but this time around I had the delete the phone numbers of every single person I spent the last 3 years hanging out with. I've made new friends in the last 3 months however, and my life is the best it's been in a LONG time.

Wish you the best, don't hesitate to ask anything even if you think AA is not for you - I'd like to know why! <3
 
I drank heavily for about 3 years, it crept up on me and I was drinking a bottle of whiskey a day and managing that just in the evenings.

I had made my doctor aware and we were discussing options, in the end I took a referral to an addiction service as I had a benzo issue as well.

At the level I was drinking it would have been dangerous to just stop CT, normally they would have given me Librium but since I was already abusing Diazepam I agreed to taper off that at the same time.

I did mange to do it in the end but it was sorely missed for a long time, it was my escape at the end of the day but that had turned into finding oblivion and was physical and mentally damaging. I hadn't realised just what a bad state I was in as the drink and drugs masked the symptoms, my stomach was bad, I felt terrible all the time and the benzos were alos taking their toll.

It must be 2 years ago now and I still crave a drink especially if I'm a bit low, I can find it difficult at social functions but I just do not drink at all now to keep it simple. I feel much better and it's something I don't have to maintain all the time or worry about how I'm going to get my drink and pills and hide the issue from my loved ones.#

Alcohol really is not that great a substance and not drinking has it's advantages, I lost a whole load of weight, I can always drive my wife to social events she still enjoys a glass of wine, I don't suffer all the stomach issues I was suffering. Dropping the Benzos was a longer battle as I relapsed twice but apart from one wobble when I brought a bottle and had a few shots I've not drunk at all ( I tipped the rest down the sink, once I'd had a couple of drinks I realised how much of a failure I was gong to feel if I did this and how upset my wife would be )

Life without booze is just fine, you learn to live with others drinking. I always let people know donlt drink and if they persist I just tell them I gave up as I had a ;problem with it, people respect and understand that and usually just want a lift home if they don't they can get a lift elsewhere :D
 
with me its maybe drinking 2-3 cans a night but that can be six sometimes. basically for a drug i enjoy its way too high an intake considering the damage it does physically.

i do crave it. i'm craving it today right now. i know when i cut it out for a week i don't even crave it, but one night and i'm back to drinking everyday. mehhh

the problem is its not ruining my life BUT it is out of my control in that the cravings play tricks on my mind.
 
^^ I can't diagnose you, but sounds like alcoholic thinking if there ever was such a thing.. Normal people don't experience the phenomena of craving - Such a feeling is reserved to true addicts and alcoholics. It's not ruining your life... Yet.

Good luck! <3


ps. If you'd like to have something on paper to help you along with making decisions here - Try writing out a few Lists: 10 ways you're powerless over alcohol, 10 ways your life is unmanageable, and 10 positive things about drinking/using(if you can..).

You don't need to, I'm just interested to see what you come up with - If you're willing. :)
 
Case 1st steppin fools in this piece.

It's really hard to figure out what to do with yourself sober and how to stay that way. That is why AA works so well for people. You need a support system, and drinking friends do not measure up to this need. I don't go to meetings at all anymore, but I'd be on a different track if I didn't go my first 4 months or so or had the great sponsor I had. It's really hard to see the good in the world when you have to be reclusive to prevent you from using, so get involved with a recovery community to help you get on the right track. Just don't get clean, and one day you decide, "hey, I've been clean for blahblahblah, I'm not addicted anymore." I like the big book of AA. It's introspective, and it gives you the ability to read it and say to yourself, "oh yeah, I was a dumb ass...they went on to do great things, so so can I."
 
^^ Shhhhhh don't give it away! :p

haha I guess it's dishonest to trick someone into working a step. That's only part of it though! Not like I'm tryin' to sponsor him/her.. Just help em paint a picture that's all. :)
 
pofacedhoe said:
with me its maybe drinking 2-3 cans a night but that can be six sometimes. basically for a drug i enjoy its way too high an intake considering the damage it does physically.

i do crave it. i'm craving it today right now. i know when i cut it out for a week i don't even crave it, but one night and i'm back to drinking everyday. mehhh

the problem is its not ruining my life BUT it is out of my control in that the cravings play tricks on my mind.
Click to expand...

For me once I have reached this point with a substance I seem unable to regain control and the only answer is abstinence from it.

Alcohol crept up on me out of nowhere, I wasn't much of a drinker in my earlier years, but giving up smoking and a period of coke use started daily use which crept up and up. I hit a low point in my life and started drinking quite heavily and seemed unable to stop.

When you say 2-3 cans I can't get an idea of the alcohol content, I mostly drank whiskey but cans would be in the 8-9% region ( the strongest you could buy)
Regardless you are identifying it as a problem and cutting down does not strike me as an option, at the level you are currently consuming you should be fine to just quit at much higher levels it vital people get medical support.

I didn't want to be involved in AA, I'm not a Christian or a member of any organised religion so I got referred to a specialist substance abuse clinic who gave me some moral and medical support.

I simply stopped drinking, stating the obvious I know and it was hard a first but the benefits soon made themselves obvious, I hadn't realised just how ill it was making me and how totally reliant I had become on it. In retrospect it had clearly become self perpetuating, I felt dreadful and anxious from the previous nights drinking so couldn't wait to take that away with more drink, it was clearly not helping my depression either.

It does sounds like you need to seriously consider not drinking anymore, if you don't think you can do this yourself seek some professional support. I've found in this day and age it's less of an issue socially as many people don't drink, I rarely even think about it and I'm glad I drop kicked it out of my life.
 
I'm not christian or part of any organized religion... Neither are 90% of my AA friends... For my 2nd step work I interviewed 10 people about their "higher powers" ... Only 2 people had a traditional judeo-christian God...


Your higher power is whatever you want it to be, and you don't need to do ANYTHING AA says if you don't want - every single thing is a suggestion. Don't like it, don't do it - that simple. Like I said, you define your higher power - So if your higher power is as simple as meetings themselves, then when you see the word God in literature that's what it means to you - meetings.

If you want to simply stop drinking and be dry - Go for it. However AA/NA offers you the chance to not only stay clean/sober, but to become a happier, healthier, better human being.

That said - recovery clinics/outpatient rehabs can be splendid for an addict/alcoholic! Some may even help you along with growing as a person! Especially someone with a small habit, that could possibly be all it takes to get sober. however for many, it simply isn't enough.
 
I would:

-stop going out with friends that drink
-replace the alcohol with smoking weed;
-stop smoking weed
 
zzz101 said:
I would:

-stop going out with friends that drink
-replace the alcohol with smoking weed;
-stop smoking weed
Click to expand...

A lot of people have tried doing this and it was just substituting one drug (alcohol) for another (weed) and we'd eventually slip up and binge on alcohol, or have a total relapse on alcohol. :\

Pofacedhoe-Do you black out or vomit from alcohol? I've been told by doctors and other people that "normal" drinkers or people who aren't alcoholics or people with an alcohol problem don't black out or vomit from alcohol, and they don't drink daily or binge drink either only having 1 or maybe 2 drinks once in a rare while and then they stop drinking and don't drink anymore alcohol.

Also I was told that most people who don't have issues with alcohol abuse or alcoholism can just count on one hand the number of times they've actually gotten very drunk or drunk at all from alcohol.

Don't feel bad I also can't control my drinking or alcohol intake so I also quit, and so have lots of people. At least you are admitting that you have a problem most people don't even do that or do it decades later when they have major health problems from alcohol abuse. Good luck.
 
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zzz101 said:
I would:

-stop going out with friends that drink
-replace the alcohol with smoking weed;
-stop smoking weed
Click to expand...

I tried this and it DID NOT WORK even the tiniest bit. It made everything worse.

This was before I accepted I was an alcoholic. I figured weed was a healthy alternative. This was an extremely poor decision. I ended up drinking just as much as I used to on top of smoking weed.

The first part about not going out with your friends is true however.

"Pofacedhoe-Do you black out or vomit from alcohol? I've been told by doctors and other people that "normal" drinkers or people who aren't alcoholics or people with an alcohol problem don't black out or vomit from alcohol, and they don't drink daily or binge drink either only having 1 or maybe 2 drinks once in a rare while and then they stop drinking and don't drink anymore alcohol."

Blacking out (regularly) is a big sign. Pretty much everyone I know has drank to the point of excess and blacked out on a few occasions, but the difference is how often you do it. I was doing it 50% of the time. Then I was doing it 75% of the time, then, for about the last year and a bit, every time I put that liquid to my lips I ended up blacking out. My addiction worsened as all addictions do. Look for the warning signs and get out while you can. Rock bottom is whatever you define it to be. You don't need to make your life worse to make it better.
 
^^ Yeah, replacing one substance for another isn't recovery. It's addiction, denial, and insane. It doesn't work like that. Getting sober means abstaining from anything that gets you high/intoxicated.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
A lot of people have tried doing this and it was just substituting one drug (alcohol) for another (weed) and we'd eventually slip up and binge on alcohol, or have a total relapse on alcohol. :\

Pofacedhoe-Do you black out or vomit from alcohol? I've been told by doctors and other people that "normal" drinkers or people who aren't alcoholics or people with an alcohol problem don't black out or vomit from alcohol, and they don't drink daily or binge drink either only having 1 or maybe 2 drinks once in a rare while and then they stop drinking and don't drink anymore alcohol.
Click to expand...

i never vomit from alcohol but i do consume a lot and it worries me. my issue is the daily drinking. binge drinking is unhealthy but if i could get pissed once a month that would be fine but if i have it one day its hard not to want it the next unless i have an extreme hangover. i use it to fill in the gaps when i am bored and this is bad for my body and bad for my soul.

the point is- i'm not at rock bottom, BUT my drinking has always been heavy and even though it sort of works out okay and i can hold down a job it is definitely going to shorten my lifespan/age me early and atrophy my brain like a dementia patient. because i crave it the way some people crave cocaine. at the moment i'm fine cos i have it in my head that i don't want it but how long will that last.

i've given up for a whole year before when i was on tramadol (small once daily dose).

i just want a healthy liver/kidneys/brain

there is nothing physical about my addiction its a psychological addiction but it really has its claws dug in deep.
 
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