How to date with so much baggage?

[llama112]

I'm a widow in my late 20s. I'm a recovering addict. I've seen multiple people OD (but lives saved, thank goodness naloxone - then of course I've administered naloxone numerous times myself). I'm anxious, BPD, suicidal. I'm much better now than I was months ago.

But everything in my life revolves around these things. I don't have stories to tell and I can't keep up much of a conversation.

Like I hung out with this guy, smoked weed, watched some TV, had sex, he talked about some of his hobbies but I wasn't sure what to say. He seemed pretty interested in me but I'm insecure so IDK really. And this guy is mature, a couple years older than me, He drove an hour to come see me. He's got some baggage too.

How do I even find people who aren't currently messed up (like I was before) but who are recovering or who are just accepting of people who have messed up a lot?

And when do you tell these people about your baggage?

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Maybe read books? Get some stories in.... like Trevor Noahs or Michelle Obama's book... Chelsea Handler's book is funny. Just stories-- something to share-- something to talk about.

Sorry you're going through that hun.. but proud of you.

 

[tathra]

everyone has baggage. when you bring it up depends on your partner's or prospect's maturity level, and how much of an active issue it is in your life

I have a shit ton of baggage, but I cope with it well enough that it's not an issue, my gf on the other hand needs help carrying hers so she's told me about a good bit of it, and i'm happy to help her and ease her burden any way I can

how to date with baggage? you just... do, I guess? maybe consider getting into therapy if it's making your life and relationships difficult

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm a widow

OMG what did I miss llama?

I get caught up in my real life bullshit and don't check all the threads and what not. Feel free to update me.
.

your baggage?

Work it out in therapy, get help, be honest. In the worst case scenario just explain you have issues and see if they generally understand.

 

[Zopiclone bandit]

If you not long been off the gear how do you know your mood isn't down to a brutal form of PAWS?
I swear if you ever come across an addict that has kicked the gear & they tell you they didn't go through brutal crushing lows in their mood etc they are telling a damn lie.

If you're still in your late 20's you got plenty of time to get yourself sorted out, it is people my kinda age that are truly fucked, you'll be fine trust me.

 

[llama112]

It's only been a couple months sober so yeah a lot of things probably still from withdrawls.
I guess everyone has different baggage. And some people will be able to handle it and some people won't.
I'm gonna check out some books too, I did some reading when I was detoxing but got out of that after.
Yeah I'm in therapy, I think I'm on like my eighth therapist or something. But this one is good.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Work on sorting yourself out before dating imo.

 

[axe battler]

I'd been with my fiance for 4 years. She died a month before the wedding, so I do consider myself somewhat widowed.

It's been 4 months, and of course I'm still fucked. We had a child together and another who still calls me step dad.

If you ever wanna PM me, please do.

This is the hardest thing I've ever been through.

 

[pofacedhoe]

everyone hs some sort of baggage

its how well they lock it away but its there for sure

just spend time with this dude and dont feel you have to talk anyway, whats bad with chilling, put a film on a relax

 

[jpollock8]

I think I may be overdosing on suboxone but I'm not really sure. I have no tolerance to opiods and took about 12 mg in the past 34 hours. I have narcan but I'm scared of what will happen. How do I know when to use it or if I'm overdosing?

 

[axe battler]

When you're posting questions like this in SLR??
Are you really drowsy? Nodding out? Feel really ill in any way??
Is someone with you? You should at least call a friend or something so they can watch you

 

[Ganjcat]

everyone has baggage. when you bring it up depends on your partner's or prospect's maturity level, and how much of an active issue it is in your life

I have a shit ton of baggage, but I cope with it well enough that it's not an issue, my gf on the other hand needs help carrying hers so she's told me about a good bit of it, and i'm happy to help her and ease her burden any way I can

how to date with baggage? you just... do, I guess? maybe consider getting into therapy if it's making your life and relationships difficult

exactly everyone has baggage, everyone has demons but at the end of the day the ones who put that all to the back of their mind are the ones with the least baggage even if they have more baggage than the worrying nancies, unless you got kids if their are kids involved I'd be like "im just going to wash my face" then lock the door and jump out the window