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How to cure an addictive personality

C

CrimpJiggler

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 28, 2011
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I have this urge to always be on drugs, over the past 10 years (since I was around 15) I've gone through phases of being on different drugs, but I've always been on something. I recently spent 5 weeks at a Buddhist retreat thinking that I'd be sober there, but after a week there I found a way to get drugs. I walked 5 miles to the nearest town and got codeine in the pharmacy, I told myself I was just gonna get high once then keep the rest just incase I have insomnia, but I ended up being on codeine all day every day for the rest of the 4 weeks there. I'm even content when I'm on non recreational drugs. One of my phases was taking trazodone to sleep every night, and that satisfied the urge. At the Buddhist retreat, I noticed that after a few days of being there I felt like I was high which was very strange, I didn't need to take codeine at all to feel good, in fact it made me feel worse than that natural high state, it was this urge that drove me to go get codeine.

Right now I'm thinking ayahuasca may cure me of this urge. There are lots of anecdotal reports to suggest it does just that.
 
1) get in therapy

2) While working with your therapist, figure out why you feel the desire to use in a senseless/needless/compulsive fashion.

3) make life changes that will help eliminate scenarios/mind sets/feelings/environments that may lead you to using.

4) optional: join AA/NA for moral/social support.
 
Thanks. Judging by your username, I'm guessing you can relate to this issue lol. I'm gonna setup an appointment with a psychologist. Do you see one yourself? Any advice on finding a good one? For example, is it better to see a therapist who is the same sex as you since they can relate better to you?
 
i find i prefer a female therapist over a male therapist and i'm a male. I don't want to open up to some guy lol.

the cure to an addictive personality is to recognize these patterns, that urge and instead of giving in, you don't give in. First time hurts, second time hurts, but eventually it won't hurt to not give in and the pattern is broken. Sometimes i still get the compulsion to just go buy opiates (like it just won't go away until i have them), it was hard at first but i said no once, twice and then over and over again, it's not so hard anymore.

Not that i don't think about it. Cognitive behavioral therapy looks at changing your associations with things and recognizing patterns in your thoughts to change your behavior and/or personality. You'd have to see a psychologist but really, therapy would probably be sufficient from a social worker. Why do you feel you need drugs in the first place? I get that feeling too, like i've left naked from my house and am exposed to the world when i'm not on some sort of drug. Likely tied to self confidence for me as drugs kind of change me from something i don't really like to something i can at least bear to be.
 
First step: admitting you have an addictive personality. You're already half way there!

Anyway, you do remind me of myself. I just avoid pharmacies and other place where drugs are available, and since my dealer got taken down it's been easier to avoid illicit drugs too.

You mention that even something like trazodone can satisfy the urge, so I wonder if other, safer, drugs could also satisfy the urge? I personally take ibuprofen fairly frequently, and that generally satisfies my urge. I'm not sure why, but I guess I associate taking pills with feeling good so it works. That might be worth a try? Just find a good, safe, drug like NSAIDs or antihistamines.

Also, do you still do Buddhist stuff? Might be a good hobby - you could go do it (meditate? I'm not too knowledgable xD) whenever you have an urge to take something?...

Best of luck :)

EDIT!
RobotRipping said:
i find i prefer a female therapist over a male therapist and i'm a male. I don't want to open up to some guy lol.
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I'd don't want to derail this thread, but I have to say that here in the UK it seems like they purposely put you with the opposite sex when it comes to the professionals in psychiatric treatment. In all my years 'in the system' I've never, ever, ever, seen a male nurse or therapist. Except once, and he was promptly replaced by a gal. My psychiatrists have all been male though, not sure what that says about the health system. Kind of irrelevant but just had to mention it xD
 
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RobotRipping: Thanks a lot for the advice. I've never said no to the urge because like you say, its painful. I didn't know that it gets easier if you keep doing it, so I'm gonna start. Today I got the idea in my head that I wanted to do amphetamines, and the idea of saying no then was depressing, so here I am on amps. When I got the amps, I felt a bit like a spoiled child that has to get everything he wants.

King-Anubis: I only really started meditating because when I was there, I spent most of the time conditioning myself to sit in the meditation position without feeling pain. Now I can do it in the Japanese position without pain. I heard from others that vipassana meditation gave them control over their impulses, so it may just cure this urge. There are 10 day vipassana meditation retreats that you can go to for free, its pretty rough since you have to force yourself to sit in one spot without moving for an hour each day but you'll come out of it with meditation skills. I'm looking into doing that next.

RobotRipping said:
i find i prefer a female therapist over a male therapist and i'm a male. I don't want to open up to some guy lol.
Click to expand...
From doing sharings at this Buddhist retreat, I've lost all fear of opening up. They segregate males from females there so it was all males that I was sharing with. Before the sharings, the group would sing various songs, I was scared to sing when I got there but that fears gone completely. Now I can sing in front of crowds of people without a worry. I still sing like a crow being strangled though lol. Anyhow, the process is called fear extinsion and glutamate plays a large role (NMDA antagonists inhibit the process). When you do an activity in a safe environment, you program your brain to not be afraid of it.
 
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yeah sounds a bit like cognitive behavioral therapy.

Shit every time i walk by the pharmacy, i think, well could go get some codeine at least... but i just walk by. It is painful to say no, because it's so easy to say yes. I personally cannot turn down stims, so the only way for me not to touch them is for them to not be accessible. I've at least turned down hydromorphone many times but if i'm offered a stim, there's just no way i'm not going to take it. I don't even really like stimulants either. They are almost as addictive as cigarettes IMO. That euphoria gets hard wired into your brain and it takes a hell of a lot of will power to override that and you will be miserable but it does get easier each time you do override it, kind of like the fear extinction you are talking about. First time singing was probably scary, but you got used to it. Same thing with treating an addictive personality, you have to set limits, strict rules and have a great amount of self-control.

you can gain self-control by realizing that being high isn't really that much better than not being high. That's one of the first realizations i had with opiates at least. I still struggle with other drugs though, mostly because the negatives have yet to outweigh the positives. But that point will come with all drugs i imagine anyway.
 
What is an "addictive personality"? I've never heard anyone describe its typical attributes beyond proneness to habituation to substances (and/or activities) and maybe perhaps a tendency toward compulsion. This makes me skeptical of its use as a construct.

ebola
 
ebola? said:
What is an "addictive personality"? I've never heard anyone describe its typical attributes beyond proneness to habituation to substances (and/or activities) and maybe perhaps a tendency toward compulsion. This makes me skeptical of its use as a construct.
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I imagine the attributes vary from person to person and while it sounds like a cop out it could be that the attributes not being obviously identifiable in itself plays a part in it being an addictive personality, a normal person would likely try to stop themself developing an addiction by trying to address a trait they know influences them towards addiction, (someone with low self esteem trying to develop their self image) if you didn't know what traits are influencing you that would be much harder. Pure speculation btw :P
 
ebola? said:
What is an "addictive personality"? I've never heard anyone describe its typical attributes beyond proneness to habituation to substances (and/or activities) and maybe perhaps a tendency toward compulsion. This makes me skeptical of its use as a construct.

ebola
Click to expand...


i definitely agree with you. No one has deconstructed the meaning of having an 'addictive personality.' I'm not sure what it means, people like to do everything in excess? whether it be masturbating, playing video games, eating, drugs? wouldn't that be the same as someone having a 'lack of self control' or a lack of 'willpower' or a lack of understanding moderation? Maybe one of those 'all or nothing' personalities? i don't know. I don't feel like i have an 'addictive personality' but i certainly do things to excess sometimes.
 
I have had the same fuking problem. I have been strung out on something for as long as I remember. started with alcohol, then weed/shrooms, them ecstacy/methamph, lsd, in my club/rave days, then OG oxy
80s, then smack, now suboxone. idk but I feel like I have raged and had enough fun for 10 normees though,
 
I would enourage you to develop your ability to hate the substance or thing that is causing you trouble. Now I want you to work on respecting yourself & therefor others as well. Keep the hatred strong and you can build or destroy an empire
btw staying busy helps too, I used to only ever really think about it when I had nothing to do
one of the toughest things about quitting is when your ol' druggy pals come around. For some reason there seems to exist an
unwritten code that any time someone is trying to quit, they must be tempted back to the dark side. Sometimes the visits can
turn hostile with cries of "so you think your better than me?" and of course lots of F U's all around. Stay stubborn even if it makes you feel stupid, I recall saying "Hey it's more for you, man" those parasites were always entertained by that one, may
still work too. heh heh. I think having a def reason (or reasons) is important, it may be helpful to write down some, never hurts
to have a list of reasons to refer to. Good Luck in your endevours
 
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CrimpJiggler said:
Thanks. Judging by your username, I'm guessing you can relate to this issue lol. I'm gonna setup an appointment with a psychologist. Do you see one yourself? Any advice on finding a good one? For example, is it better to see a therapist who is the same sex as you since they can relate better to you?
Click to expand...

I do see a psychiatrist. Look up reviews online about the person in question. This will generally give you a feel for how professional they are. If there's a lot of good reviews, that's a doctor you want to see. If there are a lot of bad reviews - find a different one.

I can't really say that someone of the same sex can relate to you better... I don't really know what to say there to be honest. Someone relatively close to your age would probably be able to you better; male or female. You can also find a therapist who is specialized in addiction counseling. I would strongly suggest this for you.

Best of luck finding the right one!
 
I was a casual drug 'user' for 3 years, experimenting & partying with no ill effects.
Then I met Oxy, which forever ruined my ability to control drug use. Overnight I went from casual user to poly-substance addict. Over the years I've consistantly drank & smoked herb (no matter how many times I tried to quit), and would use & abuse all the good stuff whenever I came across it.

I'm still a closet addict for the most part, so my "support system" is non-existant.
Echoing the usual good ideas; treating your body right through diet & exercise helps improve your mood and self_respect.
Occupy your mind with legit hobbies & distractions.

Its impossible for me to make new friends, and the best ones I've got are bad influences on me .. so when you've exhausted all other options, relocation is a great way to clean the slate (if it is an option).
That has bought me a bit of sobriety time in the past at least.
 
neversickanymore said:
develop as many addictions as you can and relegate your time in between them
Click to expand...

there is such beauty in those few words.

that's really the answer i think, the key ingredient being able to relegate time in between the addictions and not just mash them all together in a beautiful stew of chaos and misery.
 
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