how come I can't be happy without a substance in my body I can't seem to have fun or enjoy anything without being high I take different medicines such as Wellbutrin 300 trazodone 150 intunive 3 foclian 20 If any of that matters but how do you guys enjoy life sober I have been sober 6 months yesterday and still not as happy as I was before I started using drugs I started at 14 and now I'm currently 24 going to be 25 in December are these meds making me unhappy or are the chemicals in my brain forever unbalanced or burned out is there anyway to fix this I could use some advice or some one to let me know I'm not alone btw this is my little brothers account you guys should stop replying to his posts about cold meds and my ADHD meds he's always doing something stupid around the house with what he learns
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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
How to be happy and have fun sober
- Thread starter Sambino
- Start date
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Before you started you were basically a kid. Kids are still engaged with the world even when they are in some pretty undesirable circumstances in a way that adults have a hard time accessing. When you started using drugs you were at that pivotal age when a child begins to see him or herself differently and the simple pleasures of childhood no longer suffice. Adolescence is when people develop habits and strategies that carry over into adulthood; habits and strategies to deal with boredom, social discomfort, self-doubt, confusion, anger, melancholy and all the other very human states that come with any life. If you were on drugs the whole time, drugs may have been your strategy for a lot of those things. Now that has been taken away and it leaves you hanging. It makes sense that you would feel unhappy and I don't think it has anything at all to do with chemicals in your brain having been altered.
The good news is that there is no one keeping a time table for when a person can develop all the strategies for adult life. I always joke that I'm pretty sure that my frontal lobe didn't develop until well into my forties.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Start by paying attention to what you actually like to do--what gives you even the smallest amount of satisfaction or pleasure. If there is absolutely nothing you may want to talk to someone about depression. But even depression can be situational so try a few things first. Doing something with your hands, whether it is working on a motorcycle, creating a fantastic dish of food or playing an instrument can be a great way to reconnect with simple pleasure--as long as you don't sabotage yourself with self-defeating expectations of greatness right from the start. Being out in nature is another way to connect to both yourself and something larger than yourself. Volunteering to help animals at a shelter or a rescue can be another way to get out, do something and make another life less painful.
I realize that in your current state, you may feel that all this sounds like it will not even scratch the surface of your unhappiness but taking a few small steps to change a life you are miserable in can be unbelievably empowering. We get locked into thinking nothing can change when the truth is that everything is constantly changing except our own limiting perspectives and we are in control of whether those change or not. Change your thoughts=change you life. Sounds simplistic but it is actually the hardest thing in the world to do. But when you realize that you can do this it makes life so much easier and more satisfying.
Concerning your brother: he has a serious substance abuse problem already from what I read. As many people have responded to him telling him that what he is doing is crazy and unhealthy as any that have responded with information he could use to get high (which is what he is asking for in the posts that I have seen.) No one is going to be able to stop his trajectory but him BUT, as his older brother and someone that has been through a similar trajectory, do you think he might listen to you? There has to be something else for him that takes the place of drugs--which is what you are looking for yourself--maybe the two of you could take up something together? Do you parents use substances? Are they worried about you guys? Maybe some kind of family therapy could be beneficial. People generally need to use drugs to numb or mask some emotional pain. All families have emotional pain to some degree--there is no shame in admitting our human frailties and how we affect each other in negative ways even when we love each other. I hope you and your younger brother can both nip this in the bud. You are both young and you have all of life in front of you. The sooner you face this stuff head on, the better.
Kudos to you for writing in--make your own account!
The good news is that there is no one keeping a time table for when a person can develop all the strategies for adult life. I always joke that I'm pretty sure that my frontal lobe didn't develop until well into my forties.
Start by paying attention to what you actually like to do--what gives you even the smallest amount of satisfaction or pleasure. If there is absolutely nothing you may want to talk to someone about depression. But even depression can be situational so try a few things first. Doing something with your hands, whether it is working on a motorcycle, creating a fantastic dish of food or playing an instrument can be a great way to reconnect with simple pleasure--as long as you don't sabotage yourself with self-defeating expectations of greatness right from the start. Being out in nature is another way to connect to both yourself and something larger than yourself. Volunteering to help animals at a shelter or a rescue can be another way to get out, do something and make another life less painful. I realize that in your current state, you may feel that all this sounds like it will not even scratch the surface of your unhappiness but taking a few small steps to change a life you are miserable in can be unbelievably empowering. We get locked into thinking nothing can change when the truth is that everything is constantly changing except our own limiting perspectives and we are in control of whether those change or not. Change your thoughts=change you life. Sounds simplistic but it is actually the hardest thing in the world to do. But when you realize that you can do this it makes life so much easier and more satisfying.
Concerning your brother: he has a serious substance abuse problem already from what I read. As many people have responded to him telling him that what he is doing is crazy and unhealthy as any that have responded with information he could use to get high (which is what he is asking for in the posts that I have seen.) No one is going to be able to stop his trajectory but him BUT, as his older brother and someone that has been through a similar trajectory, do you think he might listen to you? There has to be something else for him that takes the place of drugs--which is what you are looking for yourself--maybe the two of you could take up something together? Do you parents use substances? Are they worried about you guys? Maybe some kind of family therapy could be beneficial. People generally need to use drugs to numb or mask some emotional pain. All families have emotional pain to some degree--there is no shame in admitting our human frailties and how we affect each other in negative ways even when we love each other. I hope you and your younger brother can both nip this in the bud. You are both young and you have all of life in front of you. The sooner you face this stuff head on, the better.
Kudos to you for writing in--make your own account!
nygiants1313
Bluelighter
Don't know honestly
started using at 15 then opiates at 19, addicted until current age 26 (yesterday happy bday me
I've never found the happiness while being sober like you and always start thinking I'll never be happy without opiates or I'll never be the old me and it leads to nothing good.
In your post I think it would help if you described your drug use. As in what was your Drug of choice? Was this a long addiction in which you are sober from? Like everyday use or some alcohol on the weekends here or there? Maybe some amps or an opiate addiction?
I only bring ring this up and wish you could add it into your title so people would see it and relate better to it as well, being able to respond to it because they been through exact same thing. Like I can relate if your talking opiate addiction, but I'd have no idea what to tell you if you are talking about alcoholism ha know? Maybe a mod can help you specify in title or edit your post
either way I think you have to just be able to accept what's done is done and your never going to be as happy as you once were. I mean who at 25 is as happy as they were in the young naive teen years right?
Do do you feel like you need those mess that your on? I mean I guess you really never know what you need until you wean off and aren't on them. Maybe they are doing more bad then good but idk
hopefully you you come back to check this and read this and
1) write EXACTLY what your drug use was over the years, and any addiction aspect of it
2) how long you have been on the mess are taking now? do you believe u need those mess
3) have you done any Na/aa stuff over the last 6 months
4/work or school? What's your day look like? Living situation?
I think hunk getting off the drugs is the easy part but finding happiness In life is very very difficult. I'm pretty sure that is why most people go back. But none the less 6 months is an amazing feat regardless if addicted or not.most people would give anything to be where you are and I, and I'm sure others commend you greatly for that. All I know is you are 6 months closer to happiness then most people in the drug world so keep your head up. I think maybe you wre you dieting or exercising?
I ask all these questions without much information, because there is a big difference in
A)waking up going to work, getting home, and laying in bed rest of day hating life, vs
B)wake up go to work, go walk in nature trail, shower, cook up some chicken and greens and play video games, play sports with your brother or friends, have sex, (socialize In general)
regardless you you are close, and I wish you the best if you don't see this, you are not alone and you can make it out. I'd sell my 2nd cousin on the black market to have 6 months sober like you so keeping up but instead of taking it day by day start fighting harder day by day and ull be happy in no time.
started using at 15 then opiates at 19, addicted until current age 26 (yesterday happy bday me
I've never found the happiness while being sober like you and always start thinking I'll never be happy without opiates or I'll never be the old me and it leads to nothing good. In your post I think it would help if you described your drug use. As in what was your Drug of choice? Was this a long addiction in which you are sober from? Like everyday use or some alcohol on the weekends here or there? Maybe some amps or an opiate addiction?
I only bring ring this up and wish you could add it into your title so people would see it and relate better to it as well, being able to respond to it because they been through exact same thing. Like I can relate if your talking opiate addiction, but I'd have no idea what to tell you if you are talking about alcoholism ha know? Maybe a mod can help you specify in title or edit your post
either way I think you have to just be able to accept what's done is done and your never going to be as happy as you once were. I mean who at 25 is as happy as they were in the young naive teen years right?
Do do you feel like you need those mess that your on? I mean I guess you really never know what you need until you wean off and aren't on them. Maybe they are doing more bad then good but idk
hopefully you you come back to check this and read this and
1) write EXACTLY what your drug use was over the years, and any addiction aspect of it
2) how long you have been on the mess are taking now? do you believe u need those mess
3) have you done any Na/aa stuff over the last 6 months
4/work or school? What's your day look like? Living situation?
I think hunk getting off the drugs is the easy part but finding happiness In life is very very difficult. I'm pretty sure that is why most people go back. But none the less 6 months is an amazing feat regardless if addicted or not.most people would give anything to be where you are and I, and I'm sure others commend you greatly for that. All I know is you are 6 months closer to happiness then most people in the drug world so keep your head up. I think maybe you wre you dieting or exercising?
I ask all these questions without much information, because there is a big difference in
A)waking up going to work, getting home, and laying in bed rest of day hating life, vs
B)wake up go to work, go walk in nature trail, shower, cook up some chicken and greens and play video games, play sports with your brother or friends, have sex, (socialize In general)
regardless you you are close, and I wish you the best if you don't see this, you are not alone and you can make it out. I'd sell my 2nd cousin on the black market to have 6 months sober like you so keeping up but instead of taking it day by day start fighting harder day by day and ull be happy in no time.