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How to approach/initiate a threesome?

Seattle_Stranger

Seattle_Stranger

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Joined
Mar 5, 2009
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Seattle, WA
I honestly never thought I'd consider this, but it has officially presented itself.

In short, my wife and I have a close friend that we both recently have agreed that we get strong more-than-friends feelings coming from her, for lack of a more drawn-out explanation. We both find her attractive, my wife is definitely experienced in the girl-on-girl area (including one time right in front of me, many years ago), and she even recently expressed that she's been desiring to play with another woman again and specifically talked about wanting it with this particular friend. Also, this friend even asked my wife recently if we ever thought about "opening up our relationship". All the signs are there, and my wife and I even talked about maybe inviting her in.

It just so happens this friend is spending the night later this week.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a huge goal of ours, however it has suddenly become a topic, and I'd like to be prepared. For those of you who have been in similar situations, how did you get the ball rolling? To draw a picture: It's late at night, the three of you are sitting on the couch chatting, probably in pajamas, sipping a glass of wine and having light conversation. Your friend gets up to use the restroom and during that time, you and your spouse quietly agree to each other that the vibe seems right and maybe we should do this.

What do you do next?


P.S.: I already expressed to my wife that I have no desire to penetrate another woman and this would mostly be the two of them playing.
 
I would have your wife kindly place her hand on the woman's thigh, and see what happens. If she doesn't look alarmed, go further up the leg, etc.

Or maybe start off by just complimenting her looks, and ask of she has ever had a threesome before - get right to it. Or is that not coy enough for you? Depends on the participating personalities i guess.

I have had a couple threesomes - one in middle school where my gay friend blatantly told me two girls were both interested in me at the same time. Another, we met online. So no such experience with a friend who we already knew, but i assume it would be far easier and a lot more smooth in your situation.

Just go for it.
 
I can't get it up on stims, so no on the coke. :P

The other "gotchya" is that she works with this woman, atop her being a friend, so they will see each other nearly every day, and then also social events I'm starting to think this is a bad idea. Would be fun in the moment but I just don't know what this will result in...

Probably should spare my marriage and just say no.
 
You should definitely weigh up the pros and cons

But if you decide to go for it, all above suggestions are good, your wife gets cuddly, maybe plays with her hair/neck/thighs, and you start talking about threesoms.

It will feel right if it's gonna happen, it it's forced or awkward, maybe drop it.

But certainly have a think as to if everyone involved can handle it.

It sounds ok to me!
 
I agree. Here's the only thing...

My wife brought this up as we were on MDMA together (which obviously made her feel open enough to tell me about her desire). Guess what we're about to do tomorrow night with....you guessed it. This woman. Now, granted we will be at a festival with other people, I think we all know how these things go. I can be all logical right now but fast forward to being high on molly at a campsite and everyone but the three of us have disappeared/gone to bed/whatever......who the fuck knows...
 
Well I would try and decide before you end up in a (to be quite honest not exactly awful!) predicament!
All of the above still apply really, you're just gonna be outdoors and probably more likely to end up doing it because of the drugs.
And as far as everyone else is concerned, you went for a walk and a chat, mind your own business ya nosey fuckers. Or just tell them. I dunno man. You'll be alright I'm sure
Let us know how it goes!
 
Seattle_Stranger said:
I honestly never thought I'd consider this, but it has officially presented itself.

In short, my wife and I have a close friend that we both recently have agreed that we get strong more-than-friends feelings coming from her, for lack of a more drawn-out explanation. We both find her attractive, my wife is definitely experienced in the girl-on-girl area (including one time right in front of me, many years ago), and she even recently expressed that she's been desiring to play with another woman again and specifically talked about wanting it with this particular friend. Also, this friend even asked my wife recently if we ever thought about "opening up our relationship". All the signs are there, and my wife and I even talked about maybe inviting her in.

It just so happens this friend is spending the night later this week.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't a huge goal of ours, however it has suddenly become a topic, and I'd like to be prepared. For those of you who have been in similar situations, how did you get the ball rolling? To draw a picture: It's late at night, the three of you are sitting on the couch chatting, probably in pajamas, sipping a glass of wine and having light conversation. Your friend gets up to use the restroom and during that time, you and your spouse quietly agree to each other that the vibe seems right and maybe we should do this.

What do you do next?


P.S.: I already expressed to my wife that I have no desire to penetrate another woman and this would mostly be the two of them playing.
Click to expand...


have a nice dinner, bottles of wine then get cosy on couch

then test the waters...
 
I'd tread very carefully if I were you...you can't predict how this might effect your relationship...no point applying logic or reason as the fact is that all sorts of emotions/resentments/insecurities etc etc can and do pop their heads up after such experiences

I'd also say the fact the issue only arose when you were both high is also a bit of a red flag, so I'd advise caution.

If it does happen though be sure to make the most of it !
 
Seattle_Stranger said:
I agree. Here's the only thing...

My wife brought this up as we were on MDMA together (which obviously made her feel open enough to tell me about her desire). Guess what we're about to do tomorrow night with....you guessed it. This woman. Now, granted we will be at a festival with other people, I think we all know how these things go. I can be all logical right now but fast forward to being high on molly at a campsite and everyone but the three of us have disappeared/gone to bed/whatever......who the fuck knows...
Click to expand...

Why not ask the others to join in as well? ;)

I wish I had your problems pal... :)
 
been there four times and each time it kinda just happened.
blow (as mentioned) is a great de-inhibitor (?) but only once was blow-cain an element of the experience... for me anyway (cannot say for sure about other participants).
first time was maybe 12? lol damn... that was a sweeeet a** time.
 
If you do have the threesome, give your wife the most attention. Don't get too caught up in the other woman. That's where guys make their mistake and the wife gets upset.

Never mind, I just read where you said it will be the two of them playing and you won't have sex with the other woman. That's probably for the best. A real threesome can cause all kinds of negative emotions to be unleashed.

Some guys would be jealous watching their wife with another woman even, but I'm guessing it doesn't bother you. Then again, you don't know what kind of emotions it can stir up until it happens.
 
I would research this site about this topic. It has come up many times before and lots and lots of people have weighed in on it. You need to go and read all that material and then decide whether you want to make this kind of a leap in your relationship. It is not a simple decision by any far stretch of the imagination IMHO.
 
Me and my ex-gf used to just blatantly ask guys if they were interested, going on instinct which of us asked (often we just asked together). If it was a definite "no" we'd just be like "okay, no problem. Sorry to have bothered you". Mostly people (especially under 30) are totally cool with just being asked. It helped that I'm quite good-looking and my girlfriend was really hot lol.
 
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