How the hell do you do this?

[yoshimi454]

I've been clean for a little over a week now. I had to relocate because my drug abuse had more or less left me homeless and jobless. I have no connections where I am and haven't made any attempts to locate any. I still wanna shoot up so bad though. I even find myself talking about it pretty frequently with friends mine that don't even use. I'm so desperate I would be willing to shoot up almost anything if I could get some kind of a rush off it. I understand that the needle has ruined my life but I don't wanna get off it. I can't tell if everything became dull and grey because I started slamming or I started slamming because it did but I don't want to feel so hopeless anymore. I feel like my life is over and I'm barely in my twenties. How do you get over something that changes your life so much? I know it's been done many times before but I feel like Ill never be satisfied unless I'm still using. Does the desire ever go away. I know I'm not very far in but does it get alot better? I feel like I can't go back to being a normal happy person after becoming a junkie.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

The desire can go away, with time.

You're on the right track, just stay there and don't give up on yourself.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

I know it feels really hopeless right now but it is possible. It does get better with time, I promise. The best things you can do are work on your mental health and the reasons you used in the first place, and try to find new things you enjoy.

The most important tip I can give you for dealing with cravings is to remember that when you get a craving you CAN choose how you react to it. You don't have to act on it, just recognize it is the addicted part of your brain talking and choose to do something else instead. It will help distract you and soon you'll forget about the craving. Deal with the next one whenever it comes. Try to keep yourself busy.

You are still young so your brain should be able to recover relatively quickly. But you do still need to work on the mental aspects of your addiction, whether that be through counselling, self-help books, whatever, and to find other things in life to focus on and enjoy (hobbies, work, travel, love, etc). Don't feel like you have to go back to using just because you feel crappy and depressed right now, it will get easier with time and going back to using will just provide a tiny bit of temporary relief and make things much worse in the long run. Best of luck!

 

[herbavore]

You will need to go after something else in life with the same energy you went after your DOC. There is a myth that somehow happiness and fulfillment simply happens to some people and not to others. While I admit that it comes easier to some, it is certainly available to everyone alive. The trick is opening yourself without fear. We hold ourselves back from life in so many ways because of fear of failure or even just fear of the unknown.

Try to develop new interests and new ways of looking at yourself and others. Get comfortable with being alone. Being in a new place offers so many new opportunities to change what needs changing inside. Reading self-help books can be great. Check out Mindfulness classes in your area (sometimes offered through local mental health depts. or hospital education programs). You can not only "go back" but you can go forward stronger than ever because you will understand yourself far more than you did before ever using in the first place. That is something to look forward to!

 

[LilbabiC]

After nearly five years clean from IV heroin, I can definetly say for me that the craving did go away. I can't pin-point at which time in my sobriety the feeling subsided but, that's because I ignored it and went on with my life. I filled all the empty holes drug use caused in my life with positive things such as a job, school, family, supportive friends and healthy hobbies.

You are doing a great job staying clean. So keep up the good work!

 

[Thick_as_a_Planck]

"I can't tell if everything became dull and grey because I started slamming or I started slamming because it did"

So true. Good luck.

 

[yoshimi454]

Thank you so much everyone. I'm so much better off now than I was a week ago. I just don't think I'm really ready to quit. Well, I guess I am in every sense with the exception that I just don't want to. If I could go back and make it work I would in a heartbeat but it just isn't possible.