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How should a girl go about hitting on a guy?

kittyinthedark

kittyinthedark

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
Messages
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I honestly thought I'd never have to ask this question, but here I am... I'm 21 years old and reasonably attractive, and I can't get a date with a moderately decent guy for the life of me. I almost never get hit on, so of course I'm out there trying to get the guys myself, but I never seem to be able to get any of them interested. I'd hate to think that my personality is that bad, but it's what I'm starting to think at this point. So what should I be doing to get a guy to call me back? I make sure to give my number to every guy I hit on, but so far I've struck out on every occasion. I can't even manage a one night stand... The only "hookup" i've had in the past four years was a thirty-year-old guy who was fucked on ecstasy and alcohol...

Is there anything in particular I should be saying or doing? (Or NOT doing?)
 
kittyinthedark said:
So what should I be doing to get a guy to call me back? I make sure to give my number to every guy I hit on, but so far I've struck out on every occasion...
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get his number and call him?

alasdair
 
I stopped asking cuz it was never worth my time. I'd get a fake or they'd just never call back.
 
perhaps you need to reconsider your approach - at the moment, you seem to be throwing it at the wall and seeing what sticks. quantity over quality.

perhaps you need to change the environments you use to meet people or consider some kind of service (it needn't be a paid thing - you could use something like the madison section on craigslist)

i have found that mining (deliberately or otherwise) my network has produced the best results. my most recent girlfriends have all been friends of friends. you need to create opportunities to make the most of you connections.

alasdair
 
Fly to Perth.
The rest will be up to me. :)

Seriously though, I cannot think of a reason why any guy wouldn't want to date/fuck/be with you. You seem quite intelligent, attractive and funny so maybe it's their problem? Where are you approaching these guys?
 
Maybe it's your choice in men? I know I tend to go for the wrong type of woman.

Your situation reminds me of mine as of late. Steps a girl should take to get my interest:

1) Dress for success. Wear something intriguing, have a unique sense of style.
2) Be energetic, let it be known you know how to have a good time
3) Be intelligent, looks aren't everything, mentioning career goals and general life direction is a good start.
4) Be engaging, smile, laugh at my jokes but don't patronize me, basically show me you're interested and you want to learn more.
5) Be mysterious, don't show all your cards the first night, leave me wanting more.

I'm not representative of every man, all man are different and yes we are complicated. You're a smart cute young woman, you should be beating them off with a stick. Maybe you just don't give out that "disposable fuck" kind of vibe if you're trying to pick up in a bar? Where are you meeting or trying to meet men?
 
I think it is important for girls to send out the correct signals. Here's how I know when a girl is hitting on me when in a club.

1. She'd give me a "I want you" look and then look away.
2. Whenever I look at her, she'd be laughing and having a good time. It's like she knows I am looking.
3. After a few #1, she's start with smiles then look away.

After #3, if the guy does not come over and talk to you then he's gay. ;)
 
I go to bars, clubs, coffeeshops, and concerts mostly. I really don't know of anywhere else to meet people. During the school year I go out of my way to make study groups and all that, try to study at the library, and I even joined a co-ed frat, but none of that has worked either. I try to network through facebook, and I did meet a guy on there once, but he turned out a bit weirder than I thought and didn't want any kind of relationship.

To be honest, I'd really prefer a girl right now, but I haven't found a hot lesbian in about 900 years, and guys are usually easier to get than girls. I'm just looking for a little friggin bit of validation right now, because I'm just out of a really messed up relationship and my home situation is completely fucked up right now. I just need some temporary companionship. I only have one friend and she *just* got a really nice, cute boyfriend... I love her to pieces, and I know she tries not to flaunt it, but I just want to kill the both of them lately because I'm so fucking jealous.
 
network, go out in groups or something like that. Shit I dunno, I haven't had to worry about it for so long I've forgotten, but hell, I wish you'd told me this problem 3 years ago, I'da loved to have helped you out ;) =D
 
Kitty, is it possible your coming across as the not available type?

Are u comin across as u may be slutty...........ie makin it to easy?

I know how u feel, Im still single and got sick of rejection yonks ago.........maybe u just neede to relax and not worry about it so much and then all of a sudden from nowhere it will happen.

Oh and its weird but things never seem to come in ones..........u will prolly find when u get one that all of a sudden everyone is hitting on you.

Maybe u could get a hot friend or relative to pretend to be takin u out and see what happens.....lol.

Keep smiling babe.
 
stick your hands down his pants or take your shirt off and dance around together while you're drunk.
 
kittyinthedark said:

I'm just looking for a little friggin bit of validation right now, because I'm just out of a really messed up relationship and my home situation is completely fucked up right now.
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Perhaps this ISN'T the perfect time to even be pursuing a relationship - major or minor.

We all need to be alone sometimes in order to properly grow as individuals and so we can actually be REMINDED of who we are and of what we truly want anyway - why not now?
 
^^ best advice on the page... and once you have followed it, you will find a strange flood of interest in you... how can other be interested in you when you're not interested in yourself? and how can others validate their opinion of you when you can't yourself?

i guess my only other advice would be that you should get your friend with the new hot boyfriend to introduce you to his friends... it'll make seeing them more bearable and open some avenues.
 
Flirt--a lot. Don't be too overt about it, though; you have to make him want it, and you don't want to look easy. I'm not going to tell you how to flirt, though; I was under the impression that all women got that toolkit early on. ;)
 
I wouldn't attribute any problems with dating to you. I would just chalk it up to the absolute horrors of dating (although I suppose some people like it).

It's remembering back to periods where I've had to flirt with girls, ask them out, get frustrated, wonder if they'll call back, and just generally ask myself what the hell I'm doing that make me appreciative that I have a cool girlfriend. Oh yeah, and it makes you not sweat the small shit.

Kitty, I'm sure it's not you. I'm fairly positive it's the general dating (cess) pool.
 
,I cannot think of a reason why any guy wouldn't want to date/fuck/be with you. You seem quite intelligent, attractive
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Give that a +1

I like it alot when the girl jumps on me or says "wanna fuck?" in whatever way she does.Thats just what i want ,although others may not be soon keen - then you look stupid in the end..hmm

try differnt bait , or it might be a bad spell :P things will clear up

:/
 
1. I think you are making yourself too available. I have definately done this before. Remember-guys love a good chase. I get hit on a lot more when I'm in a relationship-giving off that "I dont give a shit what you think of me" vibe, then when I'm horny as hell looking for any fuck I can get my hands on. Guys and girls can feel desperation. In fact I think next time you meet a guy, just tell him "Honestly I'm not really looking for a guy right now, do you know any cute single girls?" HAha that works like a charm!!

2. We have to hang out. Summerfest maybe??
 
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