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TDS How opiate/opioid affects your life.

C

cheesewiz

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 19, 2013
Messages
34
Location
Denver, Colorado
I'm sorry if this has already been discussed before if so feel free to move it. But I was just curious as to how addiction to opiates or opioids affect your school, work, finances, relationships, or any other aspect of your daily lives. I am just curious about what exactly is the reason heroin or drugs like it ruin lives. I use heroin a few times a week and would probably do it every day if I could. I am a full time student at CU and I notice how it affects my school work. For me the most troubling part of my addiction is the preoccupation with obtaining it when I do not have it. I find that my motivation is nearly nonexistent when I do not have it and therefore I tend to procrastinate a lot of my studying. When I don't have it all I can think about is how I can get the money or a ride to go pick it up so studying is really hard. So for me the most crippling aspect of my addiction is lack of motivation. But also the anxiety it gives me can be really troubling. It causes me a to have a hard time focusing on my studies and I tend to stay up to 5 or 6 in the morning before being able to fall asleep because it causes really bad insomnia. So anxiety and lack of motivation is what contributes to my addiction being a hinderance to my everyday life. What specific ways do your guys or girls addiction contribute to making your daily life more difficult? Specifically for opiates but if you feel like you have an interesting story about other drugs feel free to comment aswell.
 
For me it effects everything now. A couple years ago and I had a handle on my opiate usage. I have it for a chronic pancreatic pain issue. I get pills every month so I never looked elsewhere for them. I slowly lost control. I was in graduate school and it effected my grades. Working I was ok for awhile, but this last year I have not been working because I am out of control when using. I just dont' stop until the pills are done. (and I get a fair amount of them). I increase the dosasge chasing the high of which really there isnt' that much of a rush for me with PO dilaudid. Work ended because I was too messed up to go. (That does not make for a good employee!)

I'd just jam on my friends and cancel plans. I'd rather stay home stoned. I'm the only one in my circle of friends with this problem so I was trying to keep it secret. I dont' hear from many of them anymore. That is my fault not theirs. To keep friends you have to be a friend.
I now am waiting for next week so I can get my RX refilled. Then I feel like I have more energy and life seems rosier! Really I will just be stoned. My friends say I slur my words and I write emails that make no sense. Oddly from inside my head I can't hear the slurring and my emails make perfect sense to me, until I read them sober. It's embarrassing.

This sneaks up on you. Dont' go there if you can help it. I'm trying to figure out some sort of harm reduction program but the truth is I can't wait for next week and getting my pills. This is a bad way to live and I like many, am an educated person in health care even, so I know the risks, and have seen many lives destroyed. The drugs do not care who you are or what reason you need them. I want to be out of pain when I have it but I take plenty of pills when I'm just fine.

Don't go there, it can be a big trap for some people. Others seem to be able to just use occasionally. I lost that ablility.

I hope that answers your question. That is one view on this.
 
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i had my first experience with oxycodone last week and i can see why so many people like it, i loved it but dont have access to any but would probably buy more if i had a dealer.
 
^Please don't go down that road. I hope the stories in this thread will deter you from it and make you think twice if you're ever offered opiates, particularly strong ones, again.

Personally, heroin has only started to affect my life very recently. I've been using opiates for a while but I was introduced to heroin in september, used sparingly for a few weeks and then maybe a few times a week with the occasional binge (snorted it btw) - never enough to get properly physically addicted, but definitely psychologically addicted. Towards december I started using every day, with a much-needed couple week break over Xmas while I was home with my parents, and as soon as I got back to my own place I not only started the daily use again, but turned to IV'ing because I was just feeling like such shit and I wanted the heroin to help more.
Except for a detox week last week, these past 3/4 weeks I've been speedballing once or twice a day and that's about when it started to really screw up my life. I don't sleep anymore, and when I do it's really bad quality, so I've got permanently red eyes and huge bags under them. I've stopped doing any kind of work, I've stopped going to my classes - if I continue like this it's unlikely I'll pass this year. I've stopped seeing people, always making up excuses because I'd rather just stay in my room and get high than socialise.
People have started to notice that something's off. I keep getting comments and questions about my eyes looking weird, about why I keep itching myself, about why I keep slurring when I speak and about why I seem to fall asleep every 10 seconds (well, I'm nodding really). I also always used to wear t-shirts and now it's long sleeves only to hide the track marks, which I'm sure some close friends have noticed.
I really need to get a grip on myself. I'm starting to lose my friends and I'm going to waste the incredible academic opportunity I've got at this university for fucking drugs. I honestly can't believe I've gotten to this point.
 
I'm so sorry to hear that Pagey! I am a IV user as well but I never do speed-balls because they scare me. It is a scary path to go down and I honestly never thought I would EVER be a needle user, but that's just the way it goes when you mess around with heroin. Have you thought of getting on methadone or suboxone? I would hate to hear that your chance of a college degree was lost due to heroin. I have been on suboxone and can say from experience it helps SO MUCH. But you have to want to be clean, although it does sound like your getting to the point where change is possible. Hopefully it doesn't take losing your college opportunity to motivate you to take that step to seek help.
 
Thank you, I appreciate the support - and I'm really sorry to hear about your situation as well. You're definitely very smart to stay clear of speedballs, they're really what brought me to a whole new level of shit recently. I've been thinking of subs actually - I wasn't all that motivated because I thought I was doing fine with the drugs and I still had it relatively under control, but I'm starting to realise it really might be time. As you said, I'm getting to the point where change is possible, or so I hope anyway :)
Yeah, it's just so frustrating cuz I got into this fantastic university and I'm studying something that I really love, and I'm just throwing it away.
I can't believe I'm actually using the needle too now, it's insane how it creeps up on you isn't it?
I hope things will work out okay for you <3
 
I am pretty new to my opioid abuse but I can see how certain things are starting to go to shit because of it. I don't even do that MUCH but I have that horrible psychological need to do it daily and if I don't get the proper high, I re-dose and cross my fingers. It started as a scrip for surgery I had done about 3yrs ago and then turned into a scrip for headaches/back pain. I have kept that one going for quite a while. It used to be more under control but now I find I can run through a scrip of 40 in days which scares me because I used to pop like two pills a day max! I get so tired from them I just want to sleep, sometimes don't want to work and don't have the energy to play with my daughter. But now that I have this new scrip for methylphenidate... yah. I feel like I can fix the sleepy with it and just keep going. The methyl scrip is new but I am finding that I am also blowing through these at a fun rate. In my head I see it going down a bad road but honestly I am not yet ready to stop. I am not even a fraction of the way down this road that a lot here have gone so it seems silly to even be complaining at this point. Its just that I don't want my future to go to crap because of pills. Bleh
 
iv been off heroin and oxy iv use for almost 2 months now n it feels great, iv been on opiates daily for the past 3 years. its hard and a struggle but after the first month some of the fog is lifted from my head n i start to feel somewhat "normal" again. opiates and benzos effected me in every way, shape, and form. at my worst i was doing roughly 210 mg oxy a day or a half g to a g of heroin with up to 15mg of benzos. i got expelled from highschool for dealing percs (luckly was still able to graduate n get my diploma), i was gonna go to central michigan universty for college but decided id rather stay where i live to sell pills n get fucked outta my mind everyday. i lost jobs, friends, every penny iv ever made has gone to opiates n benzos but mostly i lost myself n forgot who i really was. addiction has effected every part of my life, i cant focus for shit, social aniexty, motivation, depression, horrible axiety(most of that is from a month long acid trip i endured). being sober is def not a easy task iv tried to kick a cpl times n every time relapsed.
 
I can relate to losing yourself in addiction. I have been a heavy drug user for the past 6 years, and opiates as my drug of choice for the past 5. Ever since I was 14 I started to get high on pills and now I don't even know how to have fun without them. Of course I can enjoy a night out with friends but I am not a very interesting person because drugs have become such a huge aspect of my life that I don't have time to do other interesting activities/hobbies... I am also right there with ya about social anxiety. I have gotten so used to meeting people high that I find it difficult to get myself to meet new people without the aid of opiates. I was always a shy guy to begin with and I think that is one of the reasons I turned to opiates as my DOC. They just make me be able to open up and have an interesting conversation with just about anyone. I always have to get high before meeting a girlfriends parents cause that tends to be really anxiety producing. Meeting new girls that I like I need to be under the influence at first as well.
 
ya i feel ya cheesewiz meeting new people is awkward now that im sober n dont have opiates and benzos to help me feel at ease. im going to get my prescription to lorazapam 2mg once a day back so that will be nice and helpful with my aniexty. when i got off opiates a lil less than 2 months ago i decided to cut off my ativan script hoping my aniexty will decrease with being sober but its only the same if not worse so being back on it will prove to be beneficial.
 
Heroin destroyed my life in every way possible.

Lost all my finances and jobs.
Lost every relationship i had
I have no friends in my life
Family wont support me
dropped out of school at UCSD.
ended up homeless on skid row,sharing needles,abceces,stealing,beggin for money.
8 rehabs
felon
now its my 2nd time on suboxone. and im really fucking tired.
It bassicly stunted my growth for the last 8 years. Im the same 18 year old kid i was when i started but in a 26 year old body.
the last 8 years were wasted in regards to finances and education.
 
I'm sorry to hear that DrinksWithEvil. I wish you the best of luck with the suboxone therapy!

And kwhat please be careful when you get back on your ativan if you were already addicted to heroin and benzo's. I would hate to hear that trying to treat your anxiety triggers a relapse. But I understand the need for medication. I was sober for 3 months and my anxiety was HORRIBLE. I couldn't smoke a cig or drink a coffee without it causing a panic attack. And of course that is why I went back to black. Maybe think about having someone hold on to your script and give you your daily dose so you don't try getting high off them.
 
I was a functional opiate addict for many years. I drank poppy pod tea daily, which was my main addiction. But I'd also use oxy, hydrocodone, tramadol, morphine, methadone, when I could find it. The worst was when I ran out of pods and my shipment was late. A few times I missed work because of withdrawal. But otherwise I held my shit together.

Things went to hell when pods became scarce, prices went up, quality went down. I maxed out a $6,000 credit card on it. Then I got into amphetamines on top of opiates. And bath salts were the end of me. That's when shit hit the fan, lost my job, girlfriend, etc. Typical rock bottom shit.

In retrospect opiates made me lazy. I'm in much better shape now.
 
Well I've actually been doing better lately all around.....a friend moved in and hes turned me back into a pothead LOL, which imo is not as bad as what I was doing before, percocet 30s most days of the week and heroin now and then.....not to mention my love for benzos...

Honestly benzos help a bit because of my anxiety lately.

But opiates really do turn everything around, in the worst ways. I was actually maintaining on kratom alone for almost an entire year, then a friend turned me onto h, which I did last august for the first time and I've been struggling to get off opiates since. I want to get off them because I have no money for that shit.....they take all your money away, always. The high is so good, but in the end you're always left more empty-handed than before you took em.....I usually use and feel great then start feeling like a dumbass on the come down or the next day.....its a ridiculous lifestyle, addiction is such a bitch.

Opiates really fucked up my last relationship, I honestly think its what has keep me so uninterested or shut-in when it comes to talking to girls. But again, my friend that moved in has been getting me out of the house and talking with girls.....I don't have problems having a conversation with any girl, its just I kind of look at them all in the same way I looked at my ex.....and she was quite whore-ish.....which makes me like "meehhh" "eeehhh" "why bother?"

thats like the ultimate thing opiates do to people....the ultimate "meh" with euphoria.....I do agree with other posts, that they make us lazy.....

So opiates are just like that......seem to take away more than they give in the end.

But weed seems virtually harmless, only thing with me is weed gives me some anxiety at times that comes and goes.....so I like to take benzos with weed. But I can just straight up smoke weed and be ok. I also like mixing alcohol and weed lately but man......its like, when will this all end? I'm so sick and tired of everyone being this way.....people just can't seem to get together without weed or alcohol or all the other harder drugs....pisses me off lol!
 
ya cheesewiz its def a trigger but thankfully im livin with my parents again so if i go back on it they will dispense it to me so i dont go overboard.
 
In my four years of on and off (mainly on) heroin use, I've been fortunate enough to keep my habit relatively under control in the sense that I've never for any amount of time exceeded my one bag (€20) a day habit and to have not lost anything meaningful; jobs, relationships etc. What I will echo is that as with me, I feel I haven't progressed any further in life than where I was when I started at the age of 21. I'm still living in my parents house and I'm still on welfare.

I've come to the end of the road in terms of my opiate journey now though - I just dont have the desire to continue on with it any longer and I sick to death of all the crap that comes along with the lifestyle.

I've recently learned that I'm eligeble for a grant to get back into college as a mature student so thats one of the primary reasons I decided to kick, because there is no fucking way I would be able to balance college and a heroin habit, as each are full time ventures. Managing college coupled with a mental illness was difficult enough the first time around, let alone throwing heroin addiction into the mix. No fucking thank you. I'll take my diazepam as prescribed for the anxiety and I wont need heroin, seeing as thats all I was using it for anyway...except I wasnt actually doing anything productive long term-wise.

Having said that, I'd still prefer to smoke the occasional bag of H over any kind of weed or hash. Marijuana turned me into the laziest, unhygenic useless sack of shit I'd ever been - not to mention exacerbating my symptoms of depression and anxiety at least ten-fold. Without a doubt the most dangerous substance I've ever used. Then again, my father smokes it daily and it works wonders for him. A perculiar drug...
 
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