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How old were you when you understood your place in the world?

malakaix said:
Feeling lost seems to be the general theme of my life.

Its frustrating beyond all hell, what i wouldn't give just for some sense of foundation. It's a defeating notion and i sympathize with the feeling of wanting to throw all caution into the wind.. I'm 23 and each year that pass's i think i become more lost or maybe just more aware of the uncertainty of life. I've become distant with friends after moving on from drugs and noticing that they were perhaps more-so friends out of convenience but beyond that we had nothing in common, which is understandable.. friendships develop out of the fulfillment of a mutual benefit between people, as do relationships. I just feel as though i'm done with that chapter of life.

But the more i let go of the past the more i find myself somewhere in-between what was and what has yet to happen; creating an incredible feeling of disorientation in the world.

Travel is all i hold onto now, it's the only thing that makes sense to me; if im going to be lost i may as-well be lost in some part of the world..
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look at my post just a little up 16.. find and identify your values and morals.. one value to look at to start is the experience of new things ie travel..
 
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I'm 22. I am nowhere. Failed out of college, don't work, don't have a girlfriend, can barely pay my car insurance of a shit '92 thats just hangin on by a thread. I think we all share in common that it seems to fundamentally be a result of our differences from social norm... moreso I think our path of self-discovery and self-awareness is more prominent than the average?

I have always been different in the way I think. My biggest revelation was the day I conjured the notion that I can't believe what they tell me. Since then television is a drag - I won't even turn it on. I don't have any faith in the system and I have a justified pretentiousness about... EVERYONE is lost and a slave. This mindset is why I am unmotivated in terms of normality and just feel lost.

when I stop for a moment and appreciate my individuality and complex methods of interpretation and complexity in emotion, I don't feel so lost. I guess you have to fill in the old cliche to live life as a marathon, not a sprint (or whatever). Not sure anyone truly finds their place and I might credit that to us being away from our natural place. sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be uncivilized animals crawling on all fours... my thoughts can be fucked sometimes but at least im encouraged to spend much of my day doing creative thinking at least for my own expansiveness
 
I'm 22 and still don't know, it honestly hurts me every day. I feel i am just treading along, letting the years pass with out progressing. I have NO fucking idea what i like in life. When choosing a major people always ask, well what do you like. I don't know! I have no idea what i like that makes money, or is a profession. And anything i do like will not work. I feel like one day it'll all just click together, and ill snap into reality but it never does. Not even quitting drugs helped :|

And to top it off i'm an introvert but kind of want to be a social butterfly. It's hard to meet / connect with new people. And for fuck sake i need a girl friend. I want to end this mess, this is no life. Don't worry i wouldn't , care too much about my parents feelings.
 
i think that very few people ever really truly know thier place....
i also think that a person place in the world can be fluid.... things change the world changes and we can change too
your overthinking this ....
 
Like everyone has said.. don't worry about it. different people, different story, different age..

I'm 26 and I'm just starting to feel like I've grasped onto a loose thread that might lead me in the direction of what my life is going to be.
 
Something that no one much thinks about anymore in this modern era of prescribed paths to normalcy is the option of throwing yourself out into the world without direction, without knowing where it will lead. I have been reading about Johm Muir lately but I am also thinking about Alexander Supertramp, Peace Pilgrim, or Cheryl Strayed. Sometimes, paradoxically, it is the uncertainty and lack of fixed place that we need to feel in order to come into our truest selves.
 
I'm 20 but I feel ancient. I've been doing hard drugs since I was 17. I'm an ex- IV heroin addict, and I've been on and off IV methamphetamine countless times.

I was so fucking smart in high school. So smart. I had some psychological issues but nowhere near the stupid fucking mess Im in now. Im in my 4th semester of college and I've yet to show any sort of self-control.

I look around and I see happy students- people with self-worth, confidence, ambition.
I look in the mirror and see permanently haunted eyes perpetually dimmed by crushing despair and hopelessness.
I look at my arms and see constant reminders of what a fucked up piece of shit I am. Scars on my wrists, track marks that never quite went away.

How the fuck am I even supposed to live with myself?
 
herbavore said:
Sometimes, paradoxically, it is the uncertainty and lack of fixed place that we need to feel in order to come into our truest selves.
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I have this same feeling, when i was traveling last year for 8 months.. i was never in one place for longer then a week. I initially set out to 'do what i wanted to do with unrestricted freedom' but over that period i found myself drawn to people, towards the end of my journey i spent a month in one hostel socializing and helping the staff there.. i realized i enjoyed this, the feeling of helping people, feeling needed and been able to contribute while meeting travelers from all over the world.

I would still say i feel lost, but this experienced helped re-direct my focus away from self and towards others. Which gives me some sense of direction i suppose, I booked a one-way ticket to Croatia for July and im just going to wing it, get lost.. drift from place to place and see what happens; whenever i try to control a situation and force my own will upon it i always end up more disillusioned because i create impossible expectations of myself.
 
I'm in my 50's, and I don't know how you kids do it.
It is a completely different world from when I grew up.
The only advice I can give is shoot for being stable and grounded,
there is too much shit distracting everyone now and it is not good
for helping people to find their direction.
 
herbavore said:
I think ironically, that most of us are born knowing our place in the world and then bit by bit we lose that knowledge either by having it stolen from us by abusive situations or restrictive cultures, by trauma or just daily grind of trying to fit some perceived mold or just by giving it away because it becomes easier.
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^ So true. I think when people "find themselves" they are just rediscovering what they lost.
 
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I agree with most everything previously stated, and as usual herbavore has great insight into the subject. I think life is like a game of golf, you may play a round with friends and there are other people on the course but at the end of the day you are only really playing against yourself (you probly wont get that 100% if u dont play golf). But as somone els stated life is not about the destination its about the journey. We are growing into our prime under very different circumstances than older generations. Quite trying to fit into social norms they arent real their are just ideas put out there either as propaganda to keep the public in check or sensationalized ideas from people trying to appear in a certain light. Be weird, snort when u laugh, cry when your sad, smile like an idiot when your happy, shout when your angry, and just accept yourself. I know there are quirky things about myself and I just try to embrace them, I am super eccentric and say very cliche things all the time, im fat and struggle with the way I look, im a recovering drug addict, im not paranoid but I truely believe our government is out to get us, I am a little bit of a slob, and I have a horrible potty mouth. Im not where I want to be in life but but not many people are so fuck it I live for today carpe diem.
 
I Ok, hello Blue light community! long time lurker, never got invested enough to reply to a thread.


A lot of these younger twenties complaining of life's miseries and warning to die because "they don't know their place", get real.

People are plagued with disease, pestilence, and paramilitary death squads across the third world.

Be glad you are on this journey, coming from a thirty year old.

The period between your mid twenties and thirties are a time you figure out much in life. Your patterns(and responsibility) become soothed..if that makes sense.

Some seconds life is ecstasy others are agony. They must exist.

Coming from a ten yr junk meth iv user "clean" for five on sub with a few screwups. Heroin will take your soul and cause misery as well as bliss.

Be real keep perspective and be well my friends.
 
I just don't feel like I've accomplished anything in so long. All my friends are progressing. While I am stuck in this interminable, depressing, infuriating, state of inertia and self-doubt. It's awful.
 
Saber44 said:
I'm 20 but I feel ancient. I've been doing hard drugs since I was 17. I'm an ex- IV heroin addict, and I've been on and off IV methamphetamine countless times.

I was so fucking smart in high school. So smart. I had some psychological issues but nowhere near the stupid fucking mess Im in now. Im in my 4th semester of college and I've yet to show any sort of self-control.

I look around and I see happy students- people with self-worth, confidence, ambition.
I look in the mirror and see permanently haunted eyes perpetually dimmed by crushing despair and hopelessness.
I look at my arms and see constant reminders of what a fucked up piece of shit I am. Scars on my wrists, track marks that never quite went away.

How the fuck am I even supposed to live with myself?
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Accept the fact that you where/are a junkie.. so many amazing people end up rite where you are.. forgive yourself.. look at the whose your favorite addict/user of all time thread in DC.. allot of amazing people there.. your the shit don't forget that.. EVER.
 
herbavore said:
I think ironically, that most of us are born knowing our place in the world and then bit by bit we lose that knowledge either by having it stolen from us by abusive situations or restrictive cultures, by trauma or just daily grind of trying to fit some perceived mold or just by giving it away because it becomes easier. Think back, waaaaayyy back to when you were so small and the world was one big surprise. You didn't ever think about what the world thought of you. You were too busy learning, observing, drawing conclusions. YOU were the judge of the world and not the other way around. The phrase "inner child" has been made so trivial and trite that it is difficult to even string those two words together and yet there definitely is in each one of us, that same selfless observer that connects with all he or she sees with the passion of an artist or a scientist. Paradoxically, thinking too much about yourself leads to having to "live up" to things, having to present proofs to yourself and others that you have worth. This is so backwards.

Your last question intrigues me. I think what you were asking is how to live outside the norm and still find happiness. My answer to that, and I draw it from many years of life-experience, is that it is harder to be happy living the norm than living outside of it by choice. Feeling lost is probably one of the most important things you can do. It means you are asking questions that don't have easy simple answers. You are willing to entertain uncertainty, that you are exploring. Those are all positive things!
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Thank you ever so much as always - you've given me much to consider and in addition much peace.
 
23, and in common with many of you, which in itself is a comfort, I find reality to be a daunting, intimidating, often overwhelming, sometimes tedious, sometimes beautiful, tiring, relentless, dark, scary, and equally endlessly rewarding place which is almost as confusing as this stumbling dichotomy of a sentence. It becomes both easier and more difficult to accept as time goes on, as I feel I understand and come to terms with it more, but at the same time have to take on more responsibility and face the anxiety-provoking music of the future. But fundamentally I think we must remember that we can have control, that most others around us either have had, are having or will have a somewhat similar set of weird and wonderful experiences as we do, and that if they can do it, so can we. Our greatest success by definition is survival, and amongst our other successes are creation, adaption and the formation of better understanding and coping strategies. These things take time and effort. More time and more effort than it is easy to fathom sometimes, when we feel like we're constantly at the start of the journey and the rest of it seems like too much information. "Keep calm, and crack on" is the best advice I've ever received, and I try to follow it whenever I feel capable.

*Edit*
herbavore said:
Feeling lost is probably one of the most important things you can do. It means you are asking questions that don't have easy simple answers. You are willing to entertain uncertainty, that you are exploring. Those are all positive things!
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Just wanted to add that I also felt inspired by this notion. Nice one!
 
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