I have been taking between 2-4 mg of Subutex a day for the past 7-8 months.
At first I would take it twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening. Maybe 1mg at a time. It didn't get me high but I felt like I did before I ever used opiates in some ways. It didn't help with my depression the way oxy did but it did help it for sure.
Then for whatever reason I began to redose constantly throughout the day. I guess it's my addictive personality. Also I went into another deep state of depression and anxiety because of my personal life. Before anyone says it I have been on all kinds of antidepressants before and they do not work for me. As of now the best thing I have found or tried for my depression is my bupe.
I remember when I was on oxy and depressed I would always have taking my oxy to look forward to. I think a lot of being depressed is not having anything to look forward to. So I would always look forward to my next dose of oxy. Waking up in the morning was more exciting because I knew i was gonna take some oxy. In the middle of the afternoon I looked forward to my next dose. This in some ways helped with my depression and in some ways made it worse. I was on an emotional roller coaster and my mood depended solely on when I would next take my oxy.
Only with subs it's not like my addiction to oxy. More isn't always better yet I can't stop myself.
So am I wasting my time and my subs by taking it constantly through the day? The only sub dose I take that really makes me feel better is the first one in the morning. If anything I feel worse taking more subs, although it does give me a little energy boost. I'm thinking even that is a placebo effect.
Has anyone else had a problem similar to this? Constantly abusing something that has very little positive effect.
At first I would take it twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening. Maybe 1mg at a time. It didn't get me high but I felt like I did before I ever used opiates in some ways. It didn't help with my depression the way oxy did but it did help it for sure.
Then for whatever reason I began to redose constantly throughout the day. I guess it's my addictive personality. Also I went into another deep state of depression and anxiety because of my personal life. Before anyone says it I have been on all kinds of antidepressants before and they do not work for me. As of now the best thing I have found or tried for my depression is my bupe.
I remember when I was on oxy and depressed I would always have taking my oxy to look forward to. I think a lot of being depressed is not having anything to look forward to. So I would always look forward to my next dose of oxy. Waking up in the morning was more exciting because I knew i was gonna take some oxy. In the middle of the afternoon I looked forward to my next dose. This in some ways helped with my depression and in some ways made it worse. I was on an emotional roller coaster and my mood depended solely on when I would next take my oxy.
Only with subs it's not like my addiction to oxy. More isn't always better yet I can't stop myself.
So am I wasting my time and my subs by taking it constantly through the day? The only sub dose I take that really makes me feel better is the first one in the morning. If anything I feel worse taking more subs, although it does give me a little energy boost. I'm thinking even that is a placebo effect.
Has anyone else had a problem similar to this? Constantly abusing something that has very little positive effect.
